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Post by isthisit on Dec 30, 2018 6:21:49 GMT -5
Hell Michael, that is simply deplorable. I have read a few of your posts now and your wife sounds pretty abusive. You deserve much more than this. I am left wondering if you are in a position to 'sort out your shit' (Baza, 2018) and prepare for an exit? I am not judging, I am teetering on the precipice myself. I wish you well, you sound like a really decent guy. I’m going to be honest. I have a woman in my life ultimately for one reason. Otherwise I might as well just have a male friend. She must hate me for some reason, which I don’t know why. I may be able to help you there 🤬
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Post by michael on Dec 30, 2018 7:51:55 GMT -5
Help me where? Understand why she hates me? Or help me find a male friend?
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Post by isthisit on Dec 30, 2018 8:36:01 GMT -5
Well my point really was that having a woman for one purpose did seem rather ‘reductionist’ and imply that sex was the rationale for a woman in your life, which does wholly reflect a high regard for the gender. Now perhaps I have misinterpreted your intention, if so apologies. However my advice is avoid such commentary when you are out on the pull, as seriously if that was said to the women I know you would not be getting lucky- unless you are into pain.
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Post by michael on Dec 30, 2018 8:46:58 GMT -5
Well my point really was that having a woman for one purpose did seem rather ‘reductionist’ and imply that sex was the rationale for a woman in your life, which does wholly reflect a high regard for the gender. Now perhaps I have misinterpreted your intention, if so apologies. However my advice is avoid such commentary when you are out on the pull, as seriously if that was said to the women I know you would not be getting lucky- unless you are into pain. Okay. I didn’t articulate my words properly. It was the middle of the night for me. I mean if I have a girl who is a friend or in this case a supposive wife, I want to be having sex with her. Otherwise if she is just a friend I might as well just have a male friend for all I am getting out of the relationship. That’s all I was trying to say. Although in reality I would still rather have a female friend because I feel more comfortable with females a lot of the time. At least that is who I seem to want to talk to mostly at parties.
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Post by michael on Dec 30, 2018 8:50:16 GMT -5
Well my point really was that having a woman for one purpose did seem rather ‘reductionist’ and imply that sex was the rationale for a woman in your life, which does wholly reflect a high regard for the gender. Now perhaps I have misinterpreted your intention, if so apologies. However my advice is avoid such commentary when you are out on the pull, as seriously if that was said to the women I know you would not be getting lucky- unless you are into pain. Okay. I didn’t articulate my words properly. It was the middle of the night for me. I mean if I have a girl who is a friend or in this case a supposive wife, I want to be having sex with her. Otherwise if she is just a friend I might as well just have a male friend for all I am getting out of the relationship. That’s all I was trying to say. Although in reality I would still rather have a female friend because I feel more comfortable with females a lot of the time. At least that is who I seem to want to talk to mostly at parties. I’m not one of those guys. I’m not cool enough or good looking enough to be like that even if I wanted to be like that.
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 30, 2018 9:51:47 GMT -5
“I’m not one of those guys. I’m not cool enough or good looking enough to be like that even if I wanted to be like that.”
Adult life isn’t like high school. One needn’t be cool or good looking to have women friends and lovers. Being available timewise is important. Being single helps a lot. Having the confidence to get to know women is essential.
Just look around. There are plenty of unattractive and uncool people who have opposite sex friends and lovers. There also are — as we see here— plenty of charming, attractive people who lack friendship and sex with the incompatible people they choose to remain married to.
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Post by baza on Dec 30, 2018 17:35:12 GMT -5
Oftentimes in here Brother michael , you see the suggestion to see a lawyer in your jurisdiction to establish how a divorce would shake out for you. This is to establish the facts.....which commits you to precisely nothing. You may - or may not - act on that information depending on what those facts are in your unique situation. But you would have a legal framework, and from that you might see a viable alternative to continuing in your ILIASM deal.
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Post by saarinista on Jan 20, 2019 23:51:54 GMT -5
Saarinista So did you have to go hungry for Christmas dinner,
There is always heating up a frozen pizza and then break out the ice cream and I would be happy. we ate something. it's hard to explain. the holidays for me are difficult with no options.
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Post by Handy on Jan 21, 2019 3:49:25 GMT -5
Saarinista , my There is always heating up a frozen pizza and then break out the ice cream and I would be happy was mostly about me not being rigid about special days centered around food. I am flexible but with some people it is the traditions that are important to them and without acting out the traditions, it wasn't a proper holiday for them.
My W used to make most of the holiday dinners. I helped her but she got to the point where she all but quit so I said "well what about heating up a frozen pizza and then break out the ice cream" if she thought the traditional dinners were too much work.
it's hard to explain. the holidays for me are difficult with no options. I am sorry that you feel you have no options. That usually is not a good place to be in.
But what you didn't say has me a bit concerned. No options for your situation, that sounds like there are some problems. I know after a bunch of bad stuff happened for me one year around the end of November and continued until February, for several years I got so depressed and almost lived those 3 1/2 months over and over again for many years. Now I sort of dislike or feel down only about 3 weeks. Longed hours of daylight helps me a lot.
Today I was emotionally uncomfortable so I drove to McDonald's an got a drink just to have a change of scenery. I got lucky and talked with some other customers my age for about an hour. It doesn't always work that well but I try to meet people I think would be interesting to talk with.
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