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Post by baza on Dec 26, 2018 17:18:30 GMT -5
Saw the following this morning on 9.com.au It's pretty lightweight stuff, but topical at this time of year.
"It seems like a bit of a downer, but following the festive season each year are a rush of divorces, with many couples splitting by the first working day in January. In fact the stats are so powerful that the first working day in January is now known as 'Divorce Day'.
The explanation as to why this happens is as complicated as it is sad.
It seems that many couples who are already struggling try and stay together over the festive season for the sake of loved ones. Once this period is over, they break up.
Sally Powell, executive partner at UK law firm Tess told Huddersfield Daily Examiner that 'Divorce Day' is a sad but true phenomenon. Those in the legal community refer to it as 'Divorce Day'. (Getty) "While the term 'Divorce Day' can downplay what is an incredibly complex time in people's lives, it is true that there is an increase in couples seeking divorces in January," she said. "The New Year is synonymous with fresh starts, with people looking ahead and developing personal or professional goals, taking steps towards what for their future," she continues. "Many people will 'keep it together' for Christmas," she says. "Likewise, the stress of the holiday period can reveal cracks in relationships or bring underlying issues in the relationship to a head."
Couples often try and 'keep it together' over the festive season. (Getty) It goes without saying that the festive season can be filled with as much stress as joy, particularly when distant relatives are brought into the mix.
While many couples do split on 'Divorce Day', under Australian family law couples can't officially file for divorce until they have been legally separated for a year and a day, which means technically they will still be married for at least one more Christmas, even if they celebrate it in different homes.
In Australia, the news isn't all bad, with the divorce rate reaching an all time low based on 2016 figures released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). The divorce rate peaked in the 1960s and 1970s, reaching 4.6 per 1000 of the resident population after the introduction of the Family Law Act in 1975.
It now stands at 1.9 percent, the lowest rate since 1976.
If you or someone you know needs relationship support over the festive season contact Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277."
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Post by saarinista on Dec 26, 2018 17:31:13 GMT -5
This makes sense. Christmas is about family, and I can definitely imagine a lot of people thinking that if things are miserable at Christmas (which they surely are for a lot of us)then they're never going to be better.
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Post by tirefire on Dec 26, 2018 18:07:29 GMT -5
This makes sense. Christmas is about family, and I can definitely imagine a lot of people thinking that if things are miserable at Christmas (which they surely are for a lot of us)then they're never going to be better. This. I knew at Christmas last year I couldn't do it anymore. Another stressful "vacation" and I knew I was wasting my life away.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 26, 2018 19:37:47 GMT -5
Feeling the same way myself.
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Post by tirefire on Dec 26, 2018 20:04:07 GMT -5
Feeling the same way myself. Sorry, saarinista. I hope the new year brings you the change you want and deserve.
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Post by ggold on Dec 27, 2018 19:55:52 GMT -5
I am retaining my attorney in January. I totally relate to this article.
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Post by ggold on Dec 27, 2018 20:01:25 GMT -5
This makes sense. Christmas is about family, and I can definitely imagine a lot of people thinking that if things are miserable at Christmas (which they surely are for a lot of us)then they're never going to be better. I had a really difficult time this Christmas season. I spent Christmas Eve alone, by choice, while my H took the kids to his brother's house to celebrate. I knew Christmas Eve 2017 was the final one that I was going to spend with his family. It's all good. Change is happening.
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Post by michael on Dec 28, 2018 1:06:37 GMT -5
My brother’s wife left Christmas Eve. She kind of ruined Christmas because Christmas dinner was supposed to be there. I’m not blaming her. I’m finding out now that my brother is kind of fucked up, but she could have waited a couple more days.
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Post by shamwow on Dec 28, 2018 7:34:53 GMT -5
Funny baza I never thought of it that way, but I think that is true. I realized two years ago that I wasn't going to be able to grow old with my ex but made it through the holidays. I mean who wants to blow up Christmas, right? By the end of January 2017 I had told her I was divorcing her and the process got into motion. It took another 6 months for our relatively ordered process to complete. But yeah, getting out of my SM was a hell of a new years resolution, wasn't it?
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Post by saarinista on Dec 29, 2018 11:41:47 GMT -5
My brother’s wife left Christmas Eve. She kind of ruined Christmas because Christmas dinner was supposed to be there. I’m not blaming her. I’m finding out now that my brother is kind of fucked up, but she could have waited a couple more days. sorry about that. So did you have to go hungry for Christmas dinner, too? Not much open on Christmas Day for eating. I know.
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Post by Handy on Dec 29, 2018 15:24:47 GMT -5
Saarinista So did you have to go hungry for Christmas dinner,
There is always heating up a frozen pizza and then break out the ice cream and I would be happy.
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Post by michael on Dec 30, 2018 3:25:22 GMT -5
My brother’s wife left Christmas Eve. She kind of ruined Christmas because Christmas dinner was supposed to be there. I’m not blaming her. I’m finding out now that my brother is kind of fucked up, but she could have waited a couple more days. sorry about that. So did you have to go hungry for Christmas dinner, too? Not much open on Christmas Day for eating. I know. No. We went to my mom’s house. The point was that my mom wouldn’t have to cook anymore for family dinners since my dad died about a year ago. Oh, so now asking why couldn’t it be at my house? My wife is a taker, not a giver. She would rather eat for free at someone else’s house then put out any effort for someone else; including my mom. Want an example of her taking? I gave her $500 for Christmas. She gave me socks. I took the kids to the store so they can get something from them to her. I got nothing from the kids.
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 30, 2018 3:35:47 GMT -5
“No. We went to my mom’s house. The point was that my mom wouldn’t have to cook anymore for family dinners since my dad died about a year ago. Oh, so now asking why couldn’t it be at my house? My wife is a taker, not a giver. She would rather eat for free at someone else’s house then put out any effort for someone else; including my mom. Want an example of her taking? I gave her $500 for Christmas. She gave me socks. I took the kids to the store so they can get something from them to her. I got nothing from the kids.”
You and your kids could cook or you could take everyone out to dinner or buy a dinner from a grocery store.
Why bother giving your selfish wife $500?
Let your kids know that you expect gifts from them evenif those are things they make. You can teach them to treat you better.
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Post by isthisit on Dec 30, 2018 4:19:43 GMT -5
sorry about that. So did you have to go hungry for Christmas dinner, too? Not much open on Christmas Day for eating. I know. No. We went to my mom’s house. The point was that my mom wouldn’t have to cook anymore for family dinners since my dad died about a year ago. Oh, so now asking why couldn’t it be at my house? My wife is a taker, not a giver. She would rather eat for free at someone else’s house then put out any effort for someone else; including my mom. Want an example of her taking? I gave her $500 for Christmas. She gave me socks. I took the kids to the store so they can get something from them to her. I got nothing from the kids. Hell Michael, that is simply deplorable. I have read a few of your posts now and your wife sounds pretty abusive. You deserve much more than this. I am left wondering if you are in a position to 'sort out your shit' (Baza, 2018) and prepare for an exit? I am not judging, I am teetering on the precipice myself. I wish you well, you sound like a really decent guy.
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Post by michael on Dec 30, 2018 4:41:29 GMT -5
No. We went to my mom’s house. The point was that my mom wouldn’t have to cook anymore for family dinners since my dad died about a year ago. Oh, so now asking why couldn’t it be at my house? My wife is a taker, not a giver. She would rather eat for free at someone else’s house then put out any effort for someone else; including my mom. Want an example of her taking? I gave her $500 for Christmas. She gave me socks. I took the kids to the store so they can get something from them to her. I got nothing from the kids. Hell Michael, that is simply deplorable. I have read a few of your posts now and your wife sounds pretty abusive. You deserve much more than this. I am left wondering if you are in a position to 'sort out your shit' (Baza, 2018) and prepare for an exit? I am not judging, I am teetering on the precipice myself. I wish you well, you sound like a really decent guy. Just to make things clear. My wife isn’t unpleasant. She has a nice personality to talk to. She just lacks common decency when it comes to marriage or even as a roommate. I’m going to be honest. I have a woman in my life ultimately for one reason. Otherwise I might as well just have a male friend. She must hate me for some reason, which I don’t know why. She’ll just denies it. I asked her one time if she was sleeping with someone else since she wasn’t with me. Now that is her favourite thing to say when you are arguing about something. She says people who accuse others are really doing it themselves. What the fuck is up with that? I was thinking she should reassure me not use it against me but that’s me. I’m thinking she just loves her bills being paid that is why she is here. I have been going to open houses though. Alone. Nothing I can afford for now though. Everything is so expensive anymore. It would make me feel like shit living in a ghetto house while my wife and kids live in one of the nicest in the whole town that I still pay for.
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