|
|
Post by DryCreek on Nov 30, 2018 0:47:05 GMT -5
Thank you. These seem like extreme solutions which may be where I ultimately end up. Bottom-line, even for serious problems, there are solutions. So don’t dispair, and try not to let yourself feel overwhelmed; it sounds like you’ve got a full plate right now. When it bubbles to the top of your list, there will be options. |
|
|
|
Post by jamesbonding on Nov 30, 2018 1:09:59 GMT -5
Hi novembercomingfire. I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. If you'd like a companion to snuggle up with, without sex on the agenda, check out cuddlecomfort.com |
|
|
|
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Nov 30, 2018 9:28:17 GMT -5
Any chance your medication is affecting your impotence? Have you had your testosterone checked? Also, the community below might be of interest when you have a chance. www.pegym.com/forums/erectile-dysfunction-forum/It may be too personal, but what is the nature of the medical problem...more info may be helpful. But the request could also be an intrusion. If so, apologies in advance. Honestly, I don’t know what the underlying medical issue is, and various doctors also haven’t been able to figure it out, but let’s just say the net result is profound impotence. I have a variety of other emergent health issues arising in the past 12 months, but that is the icing on the cake. |
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Dec 1, 2018 17:17:57 GMT -5
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a rough time of it. I also wondered whether you are experiencing some mental health difficulties, and am pleased to hear that you are receiving care in the form of medication and support. I understand that things feel totally rubbish today, but I guess you have to believe that it won't always feel as bad as it does just now. Have faith in yourself and all that you are capable of achieving- and hang in there. I would like to hear more of your journey when you feel ready to share.
|
|
|
|
Post by elkclan2 on Dec 4, 2018 8:19:31 GMT -5
I can remember thinking exactly the same way. And still suffering from depression and PTSD even though I thought getting rid of the ex would make my life rainbows and unicorns. It takes a long time to recover from a bad marriage. I was single for almost 3 yrs following my separation. I know that seems like a long time now, but it wasn't looking back.
You DO need companionship. So you need to go out and find it. Even if you don't feel like it.
|
|
|
|
Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 27, 2018 21:39:10 GMT -5
In my estimation, I am not doing especially well. But here is the thing that I have found. It doesn’t really matter. Every day is an adventure with the promise of something new. I suppose I will see how it goes, and I will try not to get hung up on the low moments.
I am glad to be a part of your community, and I wish all of you the best.
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Dec 27, 2018 21:59:28 GMT -5
Nice to hear from you, I had been wondering how you were getting along. Many thanks for the update.
|
|
|
|
Post by nyartgal on Dec 29, 2018 9:43:57 GMT -5
I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time. It sounds like your medical problems started around the time you split up with your ex. I’m not saying it’s all in your head, but it sounds like there could be a mind-body connection here between feeling down, lost, depressed etc and your body falling apart. This has happened to me in the past.
Another way to look at it: maybe during your marriage you could focus all your dissatisfaction about life on sexlessness. Now that she’s out of the picture, you are forced to face other things in your life that feel equally hard and unsatisfying. A job you hate, lack of other fulfilling relationships with friends or family, physical ailments.
Maybe you could try to focus on those areas of your life that do make you feel good, and gradually try to expand them to take up more space? For example, if you enjoy going on walks, go on more of them.
Unfortunately, it’s really painful when we realize that the work is not over to build a fulfilling life! It feels endless sometimes and that can be depressing. But maybe you don’t need a revolution, just an adjustment. A different job, some new hobbies, a change of focus from worrying about your health problems. Some positive distractions.
I think you are headed in the right direction, don’t give up now!
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Jan 1, 2019 20:08:01 GMT -5
novembercomingfire I'm sorry you're feeling so down. You do sound somewhat depressed. Takes one to know one! I'm glad you're getting therapy and medication, though. One thing I would reiterate is to investigate whether the antidepressant might be adding to your ED. As far as I know, all antidepressants except for Wellbutrin have ED as a POSSIBLE side effect (though not a certain one) so you might research that. Another question-since you said you haven't gone out with anyone, can you be sure that your ED would manifest if you were actually with a person? I know it's scary to test that theory, but it is a thought. I've never found myself to be as much of a turn-on to myself as a man is! Maybe with someone you're attracted to, the ED won't be a problem? I think you need to give yourself some time. Though someone mentioned concern because you have been out of your marriage several months and you're still feeling down, from my standpoint, I think you've been out a relatively short time. Everyone moves at their own pace. I think you're right to be concerned about your recovery timeframe because life is short, but on the other hand, after more than 2 decades of marriage, not everyone can bounce back right away. I say, keep up the good work with therapy, try to cut yourself a break, investigate the possibility that antidepressants are impacting your ED, and keep posting here. And give yourself props that you actually moved on from your marriage. It takes guts to do so. Great job!
|
|
