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Post by choosinghappy on Nov 24, 2018 8:37:01 GMT -5
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Post by solodriver on Nov 24, 2018 13:29:46 GMT -5
I guess that's where I am now. I know what the right action to do is (my exit plan) but I must wait until the right time to execute it because if I execute it before the financial piece is ready, I could do real damage to any future possibilities that might happen if I don't wait. The good news is the financial piece is slowly coming together. My patience in that area is paying off and it was the right action to take as part of my exit plan.
It's very tough because, like the article said, we just want to rush through unpleasant things (like a SM). I think having an exit plan as many here have done and executing it properly is key to having a successful outcome. Notice I didn't say a easy or stress-free or painless outcome. But an outcome where we have the chance to have our needs met and find joy that we currently don't have in our SM (and probably will never have by staying).
Thanks choosinghappy for posting! It was a great reminder and confirmation for me.
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Post by baza on Nov 25, 2018 18:10:38 GMT -5
Interesting article there Sister choosinghappy . I think that in an ILIASM situation, one does need to wait, and consider all the options, so you can make a fully informed choice. In an ILIASM situation, one of the options (staying) you already know plenty about .... but usually you do not know a real lot about the other options (cheating/leaving) and consequently are not fully informed. So you need to fully research those other options. And, having done that, waiting and letting your mind roll the whole thing around in your head for a while, your instincts, your gut, will head you off in the right direction. It is like presenting your conscious mind with ALL the options, then leaving your subconscious mind to sort it all out and present your conscious mind with a recommended course of action. Then, of course, things just get harder.
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