Becoming myself again

"places to explore down there"

🤐

Thank you for sharing your experiences! I agree with so much of what you say! It's great to be your true self.

Soooooooo happy for you.

To put a different tune in your head, a sweet man in the kayak group I belonged to used to play a flute of some kind as everyone launched... it was his way of praying for a safe voyage for us all. I just loved that and honestly had to hold back tears everytime....

I wish you safe travels, choosinghappy.....enjoy the journey.

This is truly awesome @choosinghappy.

Thanks for sharing @choosinghappy. I need to buy myself a kayak myself. Fortunately, I live near a river where there are three kayak/canoe rental places nearby. Haven’t heard any banjos playing, but I did see someone who looked a lot like this guy:

I thought this was a good place to share my ego boost of late. Feels like it is reclaiming myself in some ways. Story time!

So on Halloween I had concert tickets that I had gotten a few weeks ago. In the past year or so I have been finding live music I want to see and buying 2 tickets, then finding someone who wants to go with me. I am not waiting for others to make decisions or plans, just being bold about it. My friend was excited to go with me. I went to pick him up and he was really sick. He was still trying to go with me but it was clear he really just wanted to stay in bed so I told him to get in bed and I would find someone else. So I sat in my car and called everyone I knew that would enjoy it or would be spontaneous enough to jump in my car, drive 40 minutes into the city and dance late into the night on a Thursday with no warning. No one could come.

So I sat in my car and cried a little. Just a wee bit of self pity that I do not have a life partner and need to find people to be my partner in adventure and that most of my friends are not in the same place in their life that I am. Then I decided to just go on my own. I generally do not love doing that and I thought it would make me feel lonely and loser-esque. But I really love this band and wanted to see them and wanted to have fun. I thought at least I could see the first set than maybe leave early if I felt awkward.

So I drive in and get to the venue, get to my spot in the balcony section. The opening act is playing and he is also an awesome entertainer that I really enjoy seeing. Immediately there is a guy there who is also alone and he starts talking to me. He is my age and is also alone. There is another guy next to him who over hears us and starts talking to us too. He is also there alone, also around my age (maybe 5 years or so younger). They are both super cute! We end up talking and dancing the whole way through the opening act.

After the opening act the first guy, Chris, invites me to the bar to buy me a drink. We talk for about 30 minutes (got the run down on his divorce and his kid and his job. He asked good questions and paid attention to the answers, etc.) At some point I make a witty comment (I am known to do so) and he cracks up. He then looks at me with a sort of shocked expression on his face. He says "Wow. You are pretty amazing. You are beautiful, fun, and smart all in one. How is it possible?" Wow, thanks hunky stranger!!

Well we go back to our section and the 3 of us are hanging out again when a bunch of 20 somethings come and join us. One of them is on something (or just drunk) in a way that he is hugging everyone. He hugs me and then he howls and says "Best hug ever!" and points down at me. We are all laughing at him- trust me he was very harmless. His girlfriend is there too. The whole crowd of us starts dancing and his girlfriend comes over to me and says "We are watching you dance and you are so full of joy! We love you!" She asks to stay in touch with me, which was a little odd but whatever. Their friend who is 27 (he told me) starts dancing with me and then leans over to shout in my ear "You are beautiful!" Wow, thanks drunk kid.

I ended up having a great night, making some new friends and doing this thing I used to do which is to dance with abandon and share my love of live music with strangers who become not strangers. The music was amazing and the entire place was electrified and on our feet for hours. YES!! An ego boost, dancing to great music, a re-emergence of my carefree younger self that could dance and share a moment with anyone, and a few phone numbers that may come in handy. I am SO glad I took a chance and went and did not go home and curl up in a sad ball like I was going to.

Felt like a nice message from the universe that I am not dead yet!!

Good for you workingonit! Putting yourself out there and getting rewarded for it! Positive reinforcement is such a wonderful thing! I’m happy that your ego got boosted!