|
|
Post by dancingbear70 on May 21, 2016 10:35:59 GMT -5
Starting a new thread with the video available in the US.
Probably not indicative of most of our stories, but we have so many different stories here. And not particularly insightful comments from the other women on the panel.
What I wonder is what would have happened to these two if they had gone another 5-10 years instead of bringing it to the surface accidentally on tv. Probably closer to where many of us are.
First segment:
A few days later with hubby:
|
|
|
|
Post by smilin61 on May 21, 2016 11:20:40 GMT -5
"What I wonder is what would have happened to these two if they had gone another 5-10 years instead of bringing it to the surface accidentally on tv. Probably closer to where many of us are."
I think it's awesome/amazing that they were both able/willing to talk about this publicly. To me, it demonstrates how an intimate and caring relationship can survive a bout of SM. It sounds as though they have a true partnership, very good communication and mutual respect. Several of these key pieces were missing in my case, which led to the feelings of detachment and eventual death of desire for my mate.
It may not be where most of us are, but having these conversations publicly will help to kill the shame and isolation that can be so overwhelming. Good for them! |
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 22, 2016 19:06:54 GMT -5
"What I wonder is what would have happened to these two if they had gone another 5-10 years instead of bringing it to the surface accidentally on tv. Probably closer to where many of us are."
I think it's awesome/amazing that they were both able/willing to talk about this publicly. To me, it demonstrates how an intimate and caring relationship can survive a bout of SM. It sounds as though they have a true partnership, very good communication and mutual respect. Several of these key pieces were missing in my case, which led to the feelings of detachment and eventual death of desire for my mate.
It may not be where most of us are, but having these conversations publicly will help to kill the shame and isolation that can be so overwhelming. Good for them! I do get where you're coming from here. In my relationship with my wife there are two relevant observations: one, she's from a family where the despot would NOT allow anyone to voice emotions. It was not allowed. It was punished, viciously. And when she met me, that was still her 'normal'. She was stunned and unbelieving when I told her that it was a basic non negotiable condition of having a relationship with me that emotions were shared with each other. My hope was that she'd embrace that attitude, but even after 18 years she's still struggling with the concept. The other one is that she's from East Germany. Where it was just not safe to talk. Where you knew that about half your friends had been blackmailed, one way or another, to spy for the Stasi and report on you. And this engendered a culture that I have observed with 90% of people whom I've met who were from over there: they don't talk, much, about anything personal. So in our relationship, I had to force the issue, and that's what I did. I was the one talking to some of our friends about it as well, and she was stunned when I told her that I had discussed the issue with friends. But she stayed engaged. I got the same offer that Saira Khan's husband did - and I fully intend to use that license if I actually ever meet someone who is interested in doing that with me. She's also stayed engaged with me, and with our friends. If anything, she's opened up more, and is still opening up more. Most of the time. She still has problems putting problems on the table though, even when I try to draw her out it's hard, and that is from time to time putting a damper on things. But no, the detachment has not happened on my part, and when she lets herself go, I can see that she's not at all detached. I found it very touching to watch Mrs. Khan's emotional reaction during the second video. |
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 22, 2016 19:08:16 GMT -5
Starting a new thread with the video available in the US. Probably not indicative of most of our stories, but we have so many different stories here. And not particularly insightful comments from the other women on the panel. Gods yes, I was sitting here, wanting to hit them in the head with a nerf stick, seriously. |
|
