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Post by snowman12345 on May 21, 2016 21:44:47 GMT -5
Sometimes I worry that I will be a "turn-off" because I am a person who is really trying to find answers, solutions and reasons why. I'm very interested in psychology and how we all ended up in this situation, both our partners and ourselves. I guess you could call me "intense" but this quality adds to my life in many ways. Curiosity is a big part of who I am. Anybody else out there who wonders if they might come across as too intense or dark? You're not too serious but if you're expending a lot of energy trying to figure out why you're in this mess do understand that this knowledge is of purely academic interest. It will not change anything, in this relationship at least. You can use that knowledge to improve your color vision so you'll see the red flags next time around. Solutions? There are none. There are decisions. I can affirm this bit of wisdom. I actually know the why for my spouse's refusing behavior, knowing has not made a bit of difference in her behavior. My behavior has changed significantly though. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 21, 2016 21:45:08 GMT -5
I worry sometimes that something about me might be off-putting to men. Not my appearance - my behavior. STOP THAT THIS MOMENT. Unless you are actively stabbing people your behavior is fine. Your behavior and mind are wonderfully you. And (at least what you show us of your mind) it is the exact opposite of off putting. Attractive, sexy, wonderful and alluring come mind. (Sorry about yelling) ☺ |
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2016 22:01:59 GMT -5
I worry sometimes that something about me might be off-putting to men. Not my appearance - my behavior. STOP THAT THIS MOMENT. Unless you are actively stabbing people your behavior is fine. Your behavior and mind are wonderfully you. And (at least what you show us of your mind) it is the exact opposite of off putting. Attractive, sexy, wonderful and alluring come mind. (Sorry about yelling) ☺ Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not actively stabbing people! ;-) |
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Post by wewbwb on May 21, 2016 22:21:24 GMT -5
STOP THAT THIS MOMENT. Unless you are actively stabbing people your behavior is fine. Your behavior and mind are wonderfully you. And (at least what you show us of your mind) it is the exact opposite of off putting. Attractive, sexy, wonderful and alluring come mind. (Sorry about yelling) ☺ Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not actively stabbing people! ;-) Yes, especially because you're attractive enough to get away with it!  |
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 9:33:59 GMT -5
Wait. Stabbing is NOT ok, wewbwb? |
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Post by SweepyBear on May 22, 2016 9:55:52 GMT -5
I long gave up trying to understand things, I have evolved this " Ah fuck it" attitude when all else fails . Trust me on this, most people who say they understand things are bluffing wildly, but are so practised people will believe them .
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Post by wewbwb on May 22, 2016 10:41:07 GMT -5
I long gave up trying to understand things, I have evolved this " Ah fuck it" attitude when all else fails . Trust me on this, most people who say they understand things are bluffing wildly, but are so practised people will believe them .* *politicians. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 22, 2016 10:43:45 GMT -5
Wait. Stabbing is NOT ok, wewbwb ? We defer to you judgement. |
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 15:37:22 GMT -5
Well, the main area where I wonder if my communication skills are lacking is in dating (and later, relationships) with men. (I have PM'd with a couple of people about this, so bear with me if you've heard it before.)
How do you say, "I'm interested," without seeming either too eager or too standoffish? I suck at this.
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Post by dancingbear70 on May 22, 2016 16:02:38 GMT -5
Well, the main area where I wonder if my communication skills are lacking is in dating (and later, relationships) with men. (I have PM'd with a couple of people about this, so bear with me if you've heard it before.) How do you say, "I'm interested," without seeming either too eager or too standoffish? I suck at this. I started to craft a post and realized I know nothing of "legit" dating in the current age. I'll just say this, I always found eager a good thing when that is the feeling. If you have a good time on a date, say so. If you want to do it again, say that. Most importantly, make sure to have fun! |
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Post by unmatched on May 22, 2016 16:39:37 GMT -5
Wait. Stabbing is NOT ok, wewbwb ? I think maybe if you are interested you should try working your way up through some spanking and clamping first just to see what level of pain you are really comfortable with |
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 16:58:20 GMT -5
Sometimes I worry that I will be a "turn-off" because I am a person who is really trying to find answers, solutions and reasons why. I'm very interested in psychology and how we all ended up in this situation, both our partners and ourselves. I guess you could call me "intense" but this quality adds to my life in many ways. Curiosity is a big part of who I am. Anybody else out there who wonders if they might come across as too intense or dark? Sometimes I think people must wonder who left the mental ward door unlocked when they read my stories. |
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Post by unmatched on May 22, 2016 17:00:18 GMT -5
Sometimes I worry that I will be a "turn-off" because I am a person who is really trying to find answers, solutions and reasons why. I'm very interested in psychology and how we all ended up in this situation, both our partners and ourselves. I guess you could call me "intense" but this quality adds to my life in many ways. Curiosity is a big part of who I am. Anybody else out there who wonders if they might come across as too intense or dark? Sometimes I think people must wonder who left the mental ward door unlocked when they read my stories. I just figured they let you have laptops in your rooms |
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 17:08:25 GMT -5
Well, the main area where I wonder if my communication skills are lacking is in dating (and later, relationships) with men. (I have PM'd with a couple of people about this, so bear with me if you've heard it before.) How do you say, "I'm interested," without seeming either too eager or too standoffish? I suck at this. I only went on one date from a dating site (aside from EP, which was a dating site too). We went for a walk, and it was cold, and we stopped and I hugged her from behind. Then she took my hands and lifted them up to her boobs. That was a very subtle hint I almost missed, but I took that to mean she was interested. |
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Post by LITW on May 24, 2016 12:42:40 GMT -5
Anybody else out there who wonders if they might come across as too intense or dark? I sure do. I am not good at small talk at all, so when I find someone I feel I can trust, the conversation can easily turn very deep, and that scares some people. Not wanting to be a turn-off makes me shy away from social interactions. |
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