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Post by Anonymous Steve on Sept 17, 2018 0:54:58 GMT -5
I voted "yes" but it's only valid if I were TRULY convinced that she was TRULY interested in a regular sexual relationship with me. ...and that's a VERY tall order. I need a LOT of convincing that it's what she truly wants for us. This is actually quite easy in reality. If you start having regular sex, then she is committed to your sex life. If that change were easy for her, she would have made it already. |
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jetcity
Junior Member
Searching for an answer
Posts: 62 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by jetcity on Sept 17, 2018 13:02:25 GMT -5
The original question was,” if your partner WANTED regular sex”, WANT, to me ,imply’s desire. If my wife desired or wanted sex, I would give it to her, enthusiastically I might add,because I still love her after 30 years of marriage.
I’m hearing a lot of conditions, in this thread. He would have to...... or she would have to...... If your partners physical or mental issues magically disappeared over night and they desired (or were able to) have sex wit you would you give it to them? My answer- YOUR DAMN RIGHT I WOULD!!!!!
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Post by Rhapsodee on Sept 21, 2018 14:49:51 GMT -5
He would have to be the pursuer and woo me. I insist that he learn some rad new skills. No vanilla.
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Post by solodriver on Sept 21, 2018 19:10:56 GMT -5
No, the 19 year drought is too much to overcome. I need a fresh start.
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Post by baza on Oct 9, 2018 20:51:28 GMT -5
Interesting to see how the votes turned out here.
Yes 46%
No 54%
You might deduce from that that 46% might remain susceptible to re-set sex, and 54% aren't as likely to fall for re-set sex.
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Post by Handy on Oct 9, 2018 21:46:28 GMT -5
baza, the way I see it, having sex with the spouse feels like Charlie Brown, Lucy and the Football.
Also intimacy is about chemistry and if the chemistry is gone it cam be just humping and still feeling like an outsider.
I also have read some sexless relationships never recover even if regular sex starts again and there is usually a very awkward time period if and when a sexual relationship is resumed. I have read both good and not so god stories about sex returning to the relationship. |
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Post by shamwow on Oct 10, 2018 8:37:04 GMT -5
Without sex most marriages will flatline.
However,it is worth noting that even on a corpse hair and nails continue to grow for a period of time.
But it is still a corpse.
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Post by Dan on Oct 10, 2018 15:44:51 GMT -5
I'd love to have a full-on, carnal relationship with my husband. However, with all circumstances considered, I'd wonder: Is this out of pity, duty, or guilt? Is he doing this because he loves me, because he wants me? I'm so jaded, I have to put the first clause in the "conditional perfect" tense: I would have loved to have a full-on carnal relationship with my spouse. It just isn't there any more. I have those same questions (as @andie), and they are a huge libido killer when I start to consider them. Two things: 1) I think at this point: I just don't trust her. I think I would view any advance on her part as simply a placating gesture to keep me around. 2) And, worse: I think I'm 100% stuck this way. In other words, I can't imagine she has ANY chance of changing my mind on #1. I think that means... the marriage is over. Right? |
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Post by holdfast on Jan 16, 2023 17:12:37 GMT -5
If my W suddenly wanted to have regular sex again, I would be thrilled and totally open to it - even knowing how heartbreaking it would (likely) turn out when the wanting faded away.
What's killing me now is my lack of hope that she will ever want sex again.
What does "want" look like? One or more of the following:
Interest
Availability
Enthusiasm
Initiating
Energy
Attentiveness
Curiosity
Learning
Suggesting a new idea/technique to try
Delight
Reciprocation
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Post by catlover on Jan 17, 2023 14:54:09 GMT -5
I would welcome it with open arms, however, as a few others have stated, with the caveat that it must be a 'real' desire and not "duty sex'. (once a week would be amazing - that's 52 times a year!!)
The chances of it happening are pretty remote though, and, somewhat ironically, I wonder if I would be even able to perform satisfactorily. Over the last few months I have noticed a distinct lessening of sexual desire and feelings (in general) on my part, very seldom do I get fully hard and when I do orgasm (with the help of Mrs Palmer and her daughters) it seems like I am shooting blanks too (dry fire? LOL)
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