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Doubts
Aug 23, 2018 16:54:42 GMT -5
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Post by shamwow on Aug 23, 2018 16:54:42 GMT -5
iceman to be honest he is not offering me passionate desire and connection. What he is offering is that we can do therapy and between appointments do 1 thing like kissing, etc and then process openly and honestly with the therapist how that experience was for us. This is supposed to lead to the kind of passionate desire I need. He is not initiating or making moves or anything. He is making a very measured proposal. It is pretty damn unappealing now that I am explaining it. Just curious but what does he do for a living. Sounds analytical like an engineer or software developer. Or Vulcan.
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Doubts
Aug 23, 2018 17:21:07 GMT -5
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Post by workingonit on Aug 23, 2018 17:21:07 GMT -5
iceman to be honest he is not offering me passionate desire and connection. What he is offering is that we can do therapy and between appointments do 1 thing like kissing, etc and then process openly and honestly with the therapist how that experience was for us. This is supposed to lead to the kind of passionate desire I need. He is not initiating or making moves or anything. He is making a very measured proposal. It is pretty damn unappealing now that I am explaining it. Just curious but what does he do for a living. Sounds analytical like an engineer or software developer. Or Vulcan. Rabbi,academic, religious theologian
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Post by shamwow on Aug 23, 2018 17:21:47 GMT -5
Just curious but what does he do for a living. Sounds analytical like an engineer or software developer. Or Vulcan. Rabbi,academic, religious theologian So Vulcan?
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Doubts
Aug 23, 2018 17:22:52 GMT -5
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Post by workingonit on Aug 23, 2018 17:22:52 GMT -5
Rabbi,academic, religious theologian So Vulcan? Haha! He is actually very emotional in some ways but I hear you
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Post by sadkat on Aug 23, 2018 20:45:05 GMT -5
I’m beginning to realize that doubts will continue to plague us as we move through the process of leaving. Really, it’s likely that both of us are at fault for our situation and pointing fingers is so much easier than accepting responsibility. In the end, it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is. We’re still not happy. We don’t feel loved or cherished. We likely won’t get it back with our current partners even though we might really wish we could. The only way out is to move forward with our plan to leave. Much easier said than done!
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Post by baza on Aug 23, 2018 20:51:57 GMT -5
Your missus is quite entitled to her opinion about the marriage Brother iceman . So are you. If your, AND her, opinions are pretty well aligned, then together you advance that joint agenda. However if your, AND her, opinions a pretty much at odds, then individually you advance your separate agendas. At that point what your missus might prefer is no longer particularly relevant as far as you are concerned, you have your agenda to run, your choices to make, your life to run. You no longer have to pander to what she might want. This is YOUR call Brother iceman . It no longer has much to do with her at all.
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Doubts
Aug 24, 2018 6:30:16 GMT -5
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iceman likes this
Post by shamwow on Aug 24, 2018 6:30:16 GMT -5
I’m beginning to realize that doubts will continue to plague us as we move through the process of leaving. Really, it’s likely that both of us are at fault for our situation and pointing fingers is so much easier than accepting responsibility. In the end, it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is. We’re still not happy. We don’t feel loved or cherished. We likely won’t get it back with our current partners even though we might really wish we could. The only way out is to move forward with our plan to leave. Much easier said than done! It does kind of get that way eventually. Tit for tat eventually means nobody is happy and, even worse, neither party gives a shit about making the other happy anymore. At that point it matters little who was initially at fault. What matters is that there is no longer a way forward where either is really happy.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 22, 2019 18:46:31 GMT -5
Of course your wife wants to continue the marriage. Everything is great for her. She has a husband in name, a provider, protector, cook, cleaner etc. She dose not realise that she in returning is offering you up nothing and you are no longer to accept this arrangement.
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