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Post by northstarmom on Aug 15, 2018 13:31:26 GMT -5
Interesting. Offers hope here to many men. However, keep in mind that the mates people try to land on-line probably aren't the same as the mates whom they do land. I know women --middle aged and older -- who found partners on-line, and the men were about the same age as the women were.
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For Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds. Oy.
In it, researchers studied the “desirability” of male and female users, based on how many messages nearly 200,000 users, all of whom were seeking opposite-sex partners, got over one month on a “popular, free online-dating service” — and if those sending the messages were desirable based on the same criteria.
The researchers determined that while men’s sexual desirability peaks at age 50, women’s starts high at 18 and falls from there....
“The age gradient for women definitely surprised us — both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was,” said Elizabeth Bruch, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and an author of the study....The study results echoed data shared by the dating behemoth OkCupid in 2010, in which the service found that men from the ages of 22 to 30 focus almost entirely on women who are younger than them....
Dr. Bruch also found that a man’s desirability increased the more education he attained. For women, that benefit ended with an undergraduate degree — and postgraduate education, in fact, made them less desirable.Dr. Drouin stressed that the preferences of people seeking mates online reflect aspiration, not necessarily what people want in real life. A key finding of the study was that most users sent messages to people who were more desirable than themselves. Twenty-five percent more desirable, to be exact. This data represents “the reality of dating preferences” — in other words, dating out of your league, Dr. Drouin said. That is often not the reality of dating."
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Post by elkclan2 on Aug 17, 2018 10:05:32 GMT -5
I don't like to think of myself as 'middle aged' - I'm definitely not!!!! But I am closer to 50 than to 45. I had plenty of messages online and plenty of dates real life - only one of which did I think I would date again but I could see he didn't much care for me, otherwise I didn't want to date again or it was clear it was mutual. I was honest about my negatives. I found a guy who is a year younger than me (not what I was specifically looking for - just wanted someone around my own age) and seems to think I'm awesome. I think he's awesome.
I do wonder if the conditions are harsher for women in the US? I don't know since I haven't lived there in a long time and I'm in many ways a different person, but I felt more judged on the superficials there than here. (Of course there are plenty of superficial twats in the UK, too.) I also wonder what kind of biases there are in the study. I can't imagine that a man with a PhD has better luck than a man with an MBA.
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 17, 2018 11:55:35 GMT -5
“ can't imagine that a man with a PhD has better luck than a man with an MBA.”
A woman friend, 53, with a md and mph says she only dates men with advanced degrees. For her, an mba would probably count like an md or PhD. She is brilliant and says she wanted to make sure she gets smart, well read men as matched. She seemed to not realize that a lot of very smart people, well read folks haven’t even been to college.
I was 62 when I tried online dating. For me, a black woman, I think race was more a barrier than age. I noticed one of my white male friends said in his profile he wasn’t interested in interracially dating because of “cultural differences.” I found that funny as we have hung out platonically and are in the same social group. I think a lot of times people set criteria that keep them for considering people who’d be great matches.
I’d probably have overlooked post sm lover of 5 years if he had reached out via online dating. .I’d known him several years and thought he was plain and boring. Fortunately, he asked me out after he came to an informal lunch I was hosting. I accceptrd figuring it would be a low key practice date. When we went out and really talked one on one, I discovered how interesting he is and how much we have in common. Then, when we kissed, I realized and remembered what it’s like to have sexual chemistry with someone.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 17, 2018 12:04:53 GMT -5
A woman friend, 53, with a md and mph says she only dates men with advanced degrees. Your friend needs to look into MPH, MPG, and ROI! |
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 18, 2018 6:31:22 GMT -5
A woman friend, 53, with a md and mph says she only dates men with advanced degrees. Your friend needs to look into MPH, MPG, and ROI! Miles Per Hour, Miles per Gallon, Return On Investment ? |
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Post by choosinghappy on Aug 18, 2018 14:20:17 GMT -5
Do any other women feel slightly grossed out that apparently the number of online dates peaks for “women” at 18 years old?!! They’re not even women yet! They could be literally 1 day over the legal age of a child turning to an “adult” and they are getting inundated with dating messages/requests? Gross.
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Post by ihadalove on Aug 24, 2018 22:00:38 GMT -5
From a purely anthropological standpoint it makes sense I guess. Men might look for women most likely to bear healthy children, while women may be looking for security and means. Our society doesn't make that neceasary anymore but I wonder how much underlying biological instinct comes through.
Definitely glad I have a long way to go to reach my peak, haha!
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Post by elkclan2 on Aug 27, 2018 10:00:02 GMT -5
“ can't imagine that a man with a PhD has better luck than a man with an MBA.” A woman friend, 53, with a md and mph says she only dates men with advanced degrees. For her, an mba would probably count like an md or PhD. She is brilliant and says she wanted to make sure she gets smart, well read men as matched. She seemed to not realize that a lot of very smart people, well read folks haven’t even been to college. I didn't rule out guys without advanced degrees. But maybe because I grew up with a dad who was an academic, a grandfather who was a research scientist with a PhD and was married to an academic I both knew it wasn't something to be afraid of but not particularly desirable either. I need a smart, well-read man though. I have ended up with another PhD but in a science in which I also have a degree My partner has almost exclusively had significant relationships with women with at least a bachelors in a physical science, but he certainly didn't have that on his dating profile as a 'must-have'. |
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Post by WindSister on Aug 28, 2018 22:03:09 GMT -5
Stats bore me.
I'm average in looks, not super skinny and socially awkward until you get to know me. Yet, how the hell? I had dates as often as I wanted them. I met fascinating men from CEOs to dudes living in their parents basement.
Peaked at 18, my ass.
Life is what you make of it.
The energy you send out returns to you.
Dare to dream, live, love and open up your heart to possibilities.
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Post by WindSister on Aug 28, 2018 22:07:42 GMT -5
And yes, even the dude living in his moms basement was fascinating. Doesn't mean I committed to him, but it was a fun meet and greet that ended with a genuine hug goodbye. I wished the best for him and I hope his dreams have come true.
My point.... dating can be fun. It is only ever as bad as we make it. What if one went into it curious instead of desperate for love? When I started to get frustrated, that's the attitude shift I'd make, anyway. Took the pressure off.
As to degrees.... eh... I'm so over such BS shallowness. I'll choose a genuinely good person with grammar issues over a bunch of vowels after a name any day. My husband doesn't have student loans. I'm ok with that.
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