PTSD

Yes, it is possible. I am diagnosed with CPTSD by my therapist. The “C” is for “Complex.” It’s assigned when someone has suffered long-term mental/emotional, or/and physical abuse. Something seemingly insignificant can trigger a body or emotional response through association. You feel it automatically. Your sympathetic nervous system kicks, and responses vary. I noticed some time back that you had some triggers. It can be managed, and you can heal, but it takes time, and a good therapist. I am doing much better now than 3-years ago.

It would surprise me greatly if PTSD or something similar was NOT present to some degree in ILIASM shithole veterans.

Being in an ILIASM shithole is a terribly stressful and unsettling environment in which to live.

You are NOT going to come out of it (or remain in it) unscathed.

GC, Three-years ago, I did retreat, and I did give up hope...many times. I isolated myself because there wasn’t much left of me. I was so beaten down by life. I had no energy for going out, and meeting people. Not much energy for much of anything. I was burned out. It was exhausting just to think at times. It took a long time to recover, and go through a process of healing, and I’m still healing, but as I said, much better now than where I was.

Like you, many things felt foreign to me, so this is part of it. It will take time, maybe a long time, and perhaps you will lose and gain hope, and isolate yourself when you need to, and come out of the shell when you need to. It’s been that two steps forward, and one back for me process. I’m still overcoming emotional/mental hurdles, and sometimes I fall back, but the trajectory is up, albeit slowly. I wouldn’t wish what I’ve experienced in these past years on my worst enemy, but at least I cope better, and the suffering is less. You’ll be okay, given time and care. My very best to you.

My ex had severe PTSD, which was one of (but not the only) reason for her being as she was.
After 4 years together by the time I got out I am pretty sure I had some degree of CPTSD.

My current (and awesome) partner noticed that I seemed to have quite a few mental blocks and triggers that weren’t helping things.
A lot of honest talking helped, especially from the angle of her understanding me and where I would fall down.
That was followed by me spending a week back in the state where I am from and where my ex still lives, where I was sorting out stuff I had in storage, getting rid of most of it and sending some to my new home, as well as interacting with my ex when picking up and dropping off my daughter who I took for a weekend road trip as well as several other shorter sessions.
The combined catharsis of string rid of so much physical and emotional baggage, plus exercising my autonomy as a parent, and dealing with my ex on my own terms with her knowing I have a new partner, all combined to lift a weight, knock down some mental walls, and bring me home as a changed person.
My partner noticed the difference immediately and said I was like a different person, whereas I am recognising my old self coming back out.

I definitely have it. I've wanted to hide out and isolate a lot after I left. I had to be extra patient with myself but with time, It does get gradually better and I'm doing more and more and keeping busier and have a better outlook. I'm almost a year out and my therapist helps a lot of other clients as well get through the months after abusive marriages and she keeps saying it usually take two years before you're really back on your feet which in my experience so far, and with the time its' taking, seems about right for me.

It is so worth it though.

I definitely think it's possible. Another very good reason that if you recognize you are in a SM early and have reasonably tried to repair it and can't, get out!