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Post by caballotierra on Feb 9, 2020 21:19:39 GMT -5
Oh hell yes. It's definitely a thing. You bet there's gonna be PTSD symptoms. Did you notice how shocking it was when people liked you? I couldn't believe how nice people were being. Turns out people are always just that nice to other people, and I was conditioned to believe otherwise. I told my therapist once that I kept feeling like I was "going to get in trouble." She really made me look at that and realize I had internalized my W's critical voice. Any decision I made, i felt like she was over my shoulder telling me it was the wrong choice to make. Voices in your head sounds like PTSD.
It was only after I left that I was able to name it as an abusive relationship. She laughed derisively when I said this to her once.
But I absolutely name it: emotional abuse, physical abuse, and financial abuse. I didn't realize the last one was a thing, but first time I read an article on it, my jaw dropped.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2020 19:55:59 GMT -5
Just finished reading this and wanted to share it. medium.com/fearless-she-wrote/four-signs-that-you-have-post-traumatic-relationship-stress-c24adc9f7f6eI read many an article about marriages, relationships, sex, intimacy, narcissism, SM's, red flags, positive signs, etc... and discuss them with my woman. Now that I am going into my 2nd year of a new relationship, after my divorce, I find myself repeating the same opening line to my woman. "That reminds me of what my ex used to do/not do to me." Or "I remember how my ex used to do this.... or say this". The way my woman responds is so helpful! She listens. Then replies " I don't understand that? These woman who don't want to have sex with their husband". Or " that's very wrong, you're not like that, you don't treat me like that. Yeah... she's got lots and lots problems in how your ex treats people". I'm also conscience of bringing it up less and less, and focusing on the positive here and now. The healing continues. |
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PTSD
Jun 15, 2020 22:54:29 GMT -5
Post by Handy on Jun 15, 2020 22:54:29 GMT -5
Greatcostal
I'm also conscience of bringing it up less and less, and focusing on the positive here and now.
One sure way to mess up a good relationship is to bring up how your XW treated you. Your new woman is not your XW and maybe your new woman gets tired of hearing about your XW.
Please accept your new woman for what SHE is and what she BRINGS to the current and future relationship.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 16, 2020 13:28:32 GMT -5
Greatcostal
I'm also conscience of bringing it up less and less, and focusing on the positive here and now.One sure way to mess up a good relationship is to bring up how your XW treated you. Your new woman is not your XW and maybe your new woman gets tired of hearing about your XW. Please accept your new woman for what SHE is and what she BRINGS to the current and future relationship. I hear you, but I think you missed the point. A time for healing can require having the right person who cares enough to understand what you are going through and also encourage you to move beyond it. It's a process. One that also takes discussing how 'the past' affects your here and now. For me this is also a two way street. My woman has her own past that I listen to ,and help her to move beyond, as we continue to heal each other. Many times we can both agree that we suffered through similiar circumstances, when it comes to the disrespectful, unjust ways we where treated by our ex's, and that we will not let that happen again. |
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Post by Handy on Jun 16, 2020 15:26:46 GMT -5
Greatcostal
My woman has her own past that I listen to ,and help her to move beyond, as we continue to heal each other.
The fact you are helping each other sounds wonderful. Perhaps you both found the right partner. WTG!
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