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Post by northstarmom on Aug 13, 2018 13:57:24 GMT -5
“I arrived on time no one was there, ( they came a half hour late) I hadn't eaten, I ordered my food, I sat alone.
Troy ( she's so nice to me) came up to me and said " come on over , join us". I said " thank you, but there's no room for me, I need to finish eating". I also did not want to be the only one eating.”
The women whom you thought were unfriendly when you finally joined them may have thought you were disinterested or even rude or repulsed by them when you turned down their initial overture. Lesson is to say, “yes” even if that means you have to squeeze in even if that means adding a table or moving together to a larger one. Feel uncomfortable as the only one eating? Order appetizers to share. You were fortunate that you were able to join by them later. Some women due to their own confidence issues or their first impressions of you may have totally avoided you and spread the word that you were unfriendly.
Great that you can dance! That’s a great way to get to know women.
GC said: “I then get asked " what do you think of Margaret? She's a few years younger than you? The same Margaret who acted like I don't exist! Well I've got to tell ya, I like the older Troy who gave me classy touch and made me feel like a man again. The same Troy who said " come on Rusty we need to get you on the dance floor!". The same Troy who put her arms around my neck and danced with me, while Margaret danced alone. “
She may be shy but very interested. She may have put Tori up to inviting you over and then felt bad when at first you didn’t come. Keep an open mind. Don’t write off anyone yet.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 13, 2018 17:18:21 GMT -5
“I arrived on time no one was there, ( they came a half hour late) I hadn't eaten, I ordered my food, I sat alone. Troy ( she's so nice to me) came up to me and said " come on over , join us". I said " thank you, but there's no room for me, I need to finish eating". I also did not want to be the only one eating.” The women whom you thought were unfriendly when you finally joined them may have thought you were disinterested or even rude or repulsed by them when you turned down their initial overture. Lesson is to say, “yes” even if that means you have to squeeze in even if that means adding a table or moving together to a larger one. Feel uncomfortable as the only one eating? Order appetizers to share. You were fortunate that you were able to join by them later. Some women due to their own confidence issues or their first impressions of you may have totally avoided you and spread the word that you were unfriendly. Great that you can dance! That’s a great way to get to know women. GC said: “I then get asked " what do you think of Margaret? She's a few years younger than you? The same Margaret who acted like I don't exist! Well I've got to tell ya, I like the older Troy who gave me classy touch and made me feel like a man again. The same Troy who said " come on Rusty we need to get you on the dance floor!". The same Troy who put her arms around my neck and danced with me, while Margaret danced alone. “ She may be shy but very interested. She may have put Tori up to inviting you over and then felt bad when at first you didn’t come. Keep an open mind. Don’t write off anyone yet. I always appreciate a different perspective and your input! There were no more tables, the place was packed, and filling up more as it got later. I stood beside the table (and also danced) for 3 1/2 hrs. I had to ask the people at the table next to us "excuse me I hope I'm not in your way", very crowded. The only person who knew I was at another table was Troy, and she is the kind who takes things upon herself. I've also had too many past experiences where woman want to dance with me so they can show off. I make them look good, because I know how to be a STRONG lead. Then when I see them off of the dance floor ,I don't exist! On to some other man or friend that they would rather talk with. So I am very aware to NOT do that to a woman. I also go out of my way to ask the people that no one is dancing with for a dance, and show them how, if they want it, but that's just me. I do agree, I am not writing anyone off. |
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 14, 2018 1:05:24 GMT -5
I have fun doing social experiments with first impressions, but in business not in dating.
I dress differently than my peers, learned to speak the languages of other business roles, and intentionally have no title on my business cards. It’s fun to see what conclusions people reach on their own.
But that’s probably not what you’re after here. In dating (and job-hunting, for that matter), first impressions are important - they’re a gate. If you fail, you don’t get to compete in round 1, no matter how good you really are. And connecting through someone you know will greatly improve success.
This first skit takes a humorous look at the opposite - never putting your best foot forward, to prevent setting expectations you can’t meet. Sorry, it’s sub-titled...
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 15, 2018 7:17:35 GMT -5
They say " you only have one chance at making a first impression, so make it a good one!" How reliable is a "first impression"? Do you find them to be true, or are they quickly dismissed? People are fun! A first impression can mean all sorts of different things to different people, by asking others of their first impression you can find out things about how that person perceives things and people. Sticking my foot back into the dating pool after a time of mental abuse with a SM is a whole nother mind game. I continue to meet new people, make and receive first impressions. I recall many a story on here where people have said " they put up a big red flag and I ignored it". Then there are the times where people can surprise you, and your first impression was wrong. Your /mine impressions remain clouded with negativity from the past. On one hand there is the advice " guard your heart". On the other hand " be bold, try new things, step outside the box". Good luck to everyone on your new journeys, and the balancing act. I recall a thread on here about "how did you meet your spouse and what attracted you to them in the first place?" Now that I am in opposite land, the decision making process is very real again. Feel free to share any stories of "first impressions". Because my first impressions have been very, very wrong in both directions, I would say don’t trust first impressions. I’ve made lifelong friends with those I was less than impressed with on the outset, and ended up in a SM with someone though I was extremely impressed when we first met. Alas, I am a bad judge of character via first impressions. There will always be the master manipulator to be aware of, perhaps the saying " everyone deserves a second chance" could include a 3rd and 4th chance so YOU can ask the right questions, while guarding your heart at the same time. That is one valuable lesson to receive from experiencing a SM. How to vet people in the future. "Everybody gets to be a sucker once". |
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 15, 2018 17:42:37 GMT -5
GC said" "I've also had too many past experiences where woman want to dance with me so they can show off. I make them look good, because I know how to be a STRONG lead. Then when I see them off of the dance floor ,I don't exist! On to some other man or friend that they would rather talk with. So I am very aware to NOT do that to a woman. I also go out of my way to ask the people that no one is dancing with for a dance, and show them how, if they want it, but that's just me."
You are many women's dream! If you do decide to on-line date, put your love of dancing (and enjoyment of dancing with women at all levels of expertise) in the profile. Heck, include a quote by a woman platonic friend about what a great and considerate dancer you are!
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