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Post by greatcoastal on May 21, 2016 8:34:09 GMT -5
I did find this on line, " intimacy means in-to -me-see!" Being able to share your true self with someone.
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Post by DryCreek on May 21, 2016 12:22:20 GMT -5
I like what @zumbamami , obobfla , and baza have said. If I were to write my own definition I would say this: intimacy is a moment of connection with someone else's soul, their true, unguarded selves. It doesn't have to include touch and doesn't have to be sexual or romantic in nature. You can have an intimate moment with anyone - it isn't always sexual or romantic. It's a moment that might include truly listening or truly hearing someone, feeling their pain, or their joy, understanding them, sharing and/or accepting their emotions, having a shared experience and connecting over it. Armor is definitely not a part of intimacy. Intimacy, by definition, includes the ability to trust and to be vulnerable. There's emotional intimacy and there's physical intimacy, both are important. I think if I had emotional intimacy in my marriage, the lack of physical intimacy might not be such a deal breaker. If I truly loved my husband and had a deep, emotionally intimate bond with him and he became a quadriplegic in a car accident, you couldn't pay me to leave that man, even if there would never be any more sex, ever. Because his mind would still be there, and he would still be my best friend. I get it that sex is important, but I'd be willing to bet that if the emotional intimacy were good, sex would be a whole lot less important to many of us. I think it's true what the therapist's say, the lack of physical intimacy and sex is really just a symptom of deeper problems in the relationship. And maybe that's where the greatest unhappiness in all of this SM business lies. This... is a pretty stellar summary! Emotional intimacy... trusting someone implicitly. Knowing that you're inside each other's armor, inside the castle walls, giving each other comfort and defending each other from life's attacks. Sharing your dreams, pleasures, vulnerabilities, and fears - and trusting wholly that your partner will use that knowledge to support you, not attack you. Truly bonded as one, not just partners. Physical intimacy... Sex is just an act; something you do. Sexual intimacy is an immersion experience. Not just pleasuring each other, but being sensually consumed with each other. The world outside ceases to exist; you are 100% in the moment and focused on each other. I think you can have a degree of sexual intimacy without emotional intimacy, but you can't have deep sexual intimacy without solid emotional intimacy. DC |
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 17:58:09 GMT -5
When two people both let their guard down.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 24, 2017 14:51:57 GMT -5
An "intimate" conversation. "you were the hottest looking woman in the room tonight"
"When we get home, lets do it in the backseat, I don't think I can wait till the bedroom"
"I am so fortunate to have someone like you, I can share anything with you"
"you make me feel like a teenager again"
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Post by lyn on Jan 24, 2017 15:53:13 GMT -5
I just read through this thread from way back in May (of course when I SHOULD be doing other things - not sitting here reading this ) and am struck by the fact that - I firmly, with my whole heart, believe that true intimacy in a monogamous, sexual relationship is really a little like The Holy Grail. This intangible aspect, lacking for such a long time in my own life/marriage is beginning to feel unattainable to me. This has created such a pit in my stomach that just doesn't seem to ease up.
One day, when this "deal" is over, I know that I'll fall in love again. I'm a sucker for love and want a mutually satisfying relationship with someone that "gets" me; someone I "get". Falling in love isn't very hard - but finding the holy grail - love-intimacy-sex on a long term basis isn't seeming very realistic to me right now. This trifecta, if you will, I want more than anything. What will stand in my way is me. After blindly, naively trusting someone else with my heart for such a long time only to have it left alone to just sit and wither, I'm not foreseeing things being different because I will probably never trust someone with my heart again.
Maybe I'll look back on this post one day and think, "oh you were a sorry sap then. Thank god you were wrong. ". I hope this happens, but the realist in me doubts it will.
This is what I think today. Of course tomorrow, it's possible I'll feel totally different. But as of today, on this gloomy Tuesday, this is it.
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Post by lyn on Jan 24, 2017 18:04:11 GMT -5
Maybe @earthorse - but, for arguments sake, let's just say that you're righ😉 Could be the take-away will be that I'm able to spot things in a potential SO that I've obviously missed in the past. I dunno, but I will try again one day, that much I do know. Thank you xx
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 24, 2017 18:50:46 GMT -5
Anything from a meaningful conversation, holding hands, a gentle kiss on the neck whilst she stands by the mirror doing her hair all the way to going down on her and and making her pant. It's the whole package for me that counts though I.e I want to do them all.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 24, 2017 19:07:25 GMT -5
I just read through this thread from way back in May (of course when I SHOULD be doing other things - not sitting here reading this ) and am struck by the fact that - I firmly, with my whole heart, believe that true intimacy in a monogamous, sexual relationship is really a little like The Holy Grail. This intangible aspect, lacking for such a long time in my own life/marriage is beginning to feel unattainable to me. This has created such a pit in my stomach that just doesn't seem to ease up. One day, when this "deal" is over, I know that I'll fall in love again. I'm a sucker for love and want a mutually satisfying relationship with someone that "gets" me; someone I "get". Falling in love isn't very hard - but finding the holy grail - love-intimacy-sex on a long term basis isn't seeming very realistic to me right now. This trifecta, if you will, I want more than anything. What will stand in my way is me. After blindly, naively trusting someone else with my heart for such a long time only to have it left alone to just sit and wither, I'm not foreseeing things being different because I will probably never trust someone with my heart again. Maybe I'll look back on this post one day and think, "oh you were a sorry sap then. Thank god you were wrong. ". I hope this happens, but the realist in me doubts it will. This is what I think today. Of course tomorrow, it's possible I'll feel totally different. But as of today, on this gloomy Tuesday, this is it. One of the reasons I brought this up again, is to see if I've still got it! Portraying that I desire, require, and have a lot of intimacy to share, has gotten rusty. I don't think reading some trashy novel is going to help either. I am looking for hope that I can still talk the talk, and walk the walk. Who better than with other givers, and those who are going through, or have been through a SM. Also a good morale booster to have others say, " That's what I want, or that sure is what I like, your spouse is crazy to reject you!" |
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Post by forestsoul on Jan 27, 2017 2:39:51 GMT -5
Intimacy is having equal compassion for each other. This can be expressed emotionally or physically.
When you both meet each others needs and provide comfort and safety, in any form but always often, a trusting love grows.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jan 28, 2017 8:32:36 GMT -5
A naked hug, a deep kiss that leaves you breathless, holding hands as you walk, the "look" with a smile, the reaching for each other just because you are apart. (And thank you, now I'm sad. Tool) Perfect. Absolutely. I have NONE of that by the way or even want it anymore from current W. No intimacy asked for and none shall be given. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Jan 28, 2017 8:34:39 GMT -5
Intimacy is anything and everything that reconnects partners. Hand holding. Brushing back hair. Cradling his face in my hands. Sweet, gentle kisses. Conspiratorial whispering to each other. Walking arm in arm. Sitting on his lap, at the pub. Deep, eye contact, whether we are alone in the room, or not. Bringing me a cup of coffee the way I like it, just because. Within the sexual experience - Lying in each other's arms after sex. Sweet, sexy and naughty "I want you" texts. Looking into our eyes as we fuck. Intimacy to me, is all about my man and I. Oh this is exceptionally moving and valid. Sorry that you were "deleted" as a member. |
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