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Post by Admin on Aug 8, 2018 8:06:42 GMT -5
This message board -- "Choosing To Stay" -- is for posts focusing on the challenges of staying in a sexless marriage and for the support of those specifically endeavoring to do just that. Anyone who posts here must respect that this is a valid choice for anyone dealing with an SM. Thus the "rules" for this board are pretty simple: - If you are in an SM and choosing to staying in the marriage, you may post here. Post your questions, advice, struggles, and -- we hope to hear -- your successes.
- If that isn’t you, but you are willing to give earnest, supportive advice, you may post here.
- If that isn’t you and you aren’t willing to be supportive… consider replying to other posts in other boards in the ILIASM forum.
Note that "being supportive" may take the form of "encouraging someone to stay in the marriage because that is their stated goal", but it may occasionally take the form of "encouraging someone to consider what is really best for the individual" (even if it is at odds with supporting the marriage, per se). We expect a respectful decorum EVERYWHERE on this forum, and in that sense the rules are no different here. If you feel someone is missing the mark on "supportive" or "respectful", you may either respectfully attempt to point this out on the thread, or use the "Report Post" menu option to flag a post for review by the moderators. |
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Post by Admin on Aug 8, 2018 8:26:39 GMT -5
FWIW: I solicited member feedback on how this board should be crafted, and the expectations for it. If you'd like, check out the discussion of this, including both support and concerns. |
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Post by thefullmoon on Aug 8, 2018 13:58:12 GMT -5
You read my mind! I will live here!  Thank you! And all my symphaty for us, sad dudes@ |
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Post by shamwow on Aug 9, 2018 8:24:04 GMT -5
This was a really needed section.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2018 10:57:21 GMT -5
count me in
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Post by frednsa on Feb 29, 2020 18:07:06 GMT -5
This message board -- "Choosing To Stay" -- is for posts focusing on the challenges of staying in a sexless marriage and for the support of those specifically endeavoring to do just that. Anyone who posts here must respect that this is a valid choice for anyone dealing with an SM. Thus the "rules" for this board are pretty simple: - If you are in an SM and choosing to staying in the marriage, you may post here. Post your questions, advice, struggles, and -- we hope to hear -- your successes.
- If that isn’t you, but you are willing to give earnest, supportive advice, you may post here.
- If that isn’t you and you aren’t willing to be supportive… consider replying to other posts in other boards in the ILIASM forum.
Note that "being supportive" may take the form of "encouraging someone to stay in the marriage because that is their stated goal", but it may occasionally take the form of "encouraging someone to consider what is really best for the individual" (even if it is at odds with supporting the marriage, per se). We expect a respectful decorum EVERYWHERE on this forum, and in that sense the rules are no different here. If you feel someone is missing the mark on "supportive" or "respectful", you may either respectfully attempt to point this out on the thread, or use the "Report Post" menu option to flag a post for review by the moderators. after a half-century, plus I must advise: if you are medium to highly-sexed, LEAVE ! My heart is black and blue from staying with a wonderful lady with ZERO interest in sex, from the WEDDING NIGHT ! I know, whine, whine, whine.......BUT, to the point, you CANNOT fix this you can only hope and there is NO HOPE ! Sorry but as the old saying goes "a word to the wise should be sufficient". I won't leave - ( i don't think......). Not sure i'm experiencing bipolarity, but in my late 70's with only despair relative to this marriage, i am on anti-depressants. (never a mood swing until my 70's when she finally disclosed her total and complete lifelong dislike of anything sexual. Anti-depressants are Working well, i'm happy to say. Wifie is such a nice person but as sexual twilight clouds my vision, i find it harder and harder to appreciate her brightness. I feel no guilt about wishing for an "affair" but it's late for an old guy like me. It's just that i'm convinced that one of a man's fondest wishes is to thrill his lady physically. Wife is such a flat-liner that any joy appears impossible to deliver, a thrill.............a joke ! sorry................ |
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Post by Handy on Feb 29, 2020 22:10:36 GMT -5
Frednsa
Wifie is such a nice person but as sexual twilight clouds my vision, i find it harder and harder to appreciate her brightness.That mightbe because you are resentful for being denied somethings you truly treasure. I used to think if I did more for my W, she would do some things I liked. Well all I got or developed within myself was more and more resentments for giving and not getting so I quit giving and doing several things. My W commented that "I used to be such a nice guy." There are givers and takers in life. My W was a taker and I grew to resent that lifestyle. I am not un-considerate but I quit giving and expecting.
BTW, affairs can be non-sexual so do not count yourself out just yet.
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