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Post by bballgirl on Jun 20, 2018 7:09:19 GMT -5
Helen you are doing great and you have come a long way.
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. The dating to rebuild your self esteem and I did that and it helped. I don't believe in having regrets in life they are just experiences that we learn lessons from.
You are on the right track just keep focusing on yourself and everything will fall right into place.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 20, 2018 8:12:34 GMT -5
Helenisbired said: “They're so cute, I just want to pinch their little cheeks and tell them to enjoy while they can b/c life is mostly a shit sandwich after this fun school part, ”
Life is what you make it. I’ve read that the happiest time for most people is old age!
As for me, college was a welcome relief after a miserable childhood in a dysfunctional family. Grad school was even better. Still, some of my happiest times have been in my 60s. I’ve developed the confidence and self respect to honor my dreams, to establish relationships with people who are supportive, and to let go of people who are toxic. I have a fuller, happier life than when I was in college. I also have the wisdom I didn’t have then. I’ve taken college classes for fun in my 60s, and I have some young friends. However, I wouldn’t trade their lives for mine.
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Post by Caris on Jun 22, 2018 16:47:28 GMT -5
It’s good to hear from you, Helen. I’ve often wondered how you were doing. I respect your openness and honesty regarding your reality. It’s like it’s better, and worse all at the same time. Better being out of the SM, and all the negativity that entails, yet worse in that life can still be very lonely, and we have to learn a new things that make us feel uncomfortable, and that directs our want for soothing and familiarity to the past, and sometimes makes us second guess our choices. Then we come back to sanity, and realize we made the right choice, but in many ways, it’s still the same. Still alone, as years pass by.
Like you, I went back to school in my 50s (I know you are younger), and I faced age bias from some of the instructors more than the younger students. Not pleasant at all, so I get it. Still, it’s good you are doing something. It’s always better to be doing something.
I don’t know if I told you, but my ex died last year. It made the world feel a lot more lonely, but the grief has subsided (thank God), but I still miss him. I haven’t met a man or had a date since I left, 3-years ago, so you are not alone in not dating or having a relationship. I’m doing better than 3-years ago, but I’m not living. I’m existing the best I can, and just doing my thing.
I hope you visit us more often, or on SW. I’ve just returned there, so would be nice to see you there too. I’m not on this site too much. Nothing to say, really. No success story. Big hugs, Helen, and love and best wishes.
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Post by Caris on Jun 22, 2018 16:58:23 GMT -5
Helenisbired said: “They're so cute, I just want to pinch their little cheeks and tell them to enjoy while they can b/c life is mostly a shit sandwich after this fun school part, ” Life is what you make it. I’ve read that the happiest time for most people is old age! As for me, college was a welcome relief after a miserable childhood in a dysfunctional family. Grad school was even better. Still, some of my happiest times have been in my 60s. I’ve developed the confidence and self respect to honor my dreams, to establish relationships with people who are supportive, and to let go of people who are toxic. I have a fuller, happier life than when I was in college. I also have the wisdom I didn’t have then. I’ve taken college classes for fun in my 60s, and I have some young friends. However, I wouldn’t trade their lives for mine. I, too, have read that older age is said to be a happier time in life. I happen, however, to be at the bottom of the supposed u-shape (going solely by age and by what ages I've read are the worst) that happiness allegedly makes in a life, so I can't comment on life any further than I've been. I do feel cheered by rumors that life's happiness is due to take am upturn because, omg at times it is such a hard slog. Everyone has different experiences of old age. It’s hard for me. I joined groups that interested me, but have made no connections or friends. Furthermore, even though I work out regularly, and have gained strength and cardio benifits, other parts of me are letting me down. I’ve had to give up hiking, and dancing because of arthritis. I’m hoping that’s temporary, and I’m working on a solution. My eyesight grows dimmer, so I can’t go back to school or drive at night. I’m 64. Four years ago, I looked 10-years younger. Now, I look 10-years older, which has done nothing for my self esteem and confidence re: feeling attractive to men. So, some people will have a great old age, and some won’t. Nothing is guareenteed in life. |
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Post by JMX on Jun 23, 2018 11:04:59 GMT -5
So good to “see” you Helen!
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Post by unmatched on Jun 24, 2018 23:38:07 GMT -5
Hi Helen, nice to hear from you! You sound like you are doing really well and have found your centre (sorry, probably should write center around here...). It feels like we are all growing up in a strangely twisted kind of a way  |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 25, 2018 9:51:41 GMT -5
unmatched, good to see you back! There's been a curious reappearance of old friends here lately...
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Post by unmatched on Jun 26, 2018 0:16:09 GMT -5
unmatched , good to see you back! There's been a curious reappearance of old friends here lately... Thank you! Must be something in the stars lol. What did I miss? |
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Post by JMX on Jul 1, 2018 0:08:53 GMT -5
unmatched , good to see you back! There's been a curious reappearance of old friends here lately... Thank you! Must be something in the stars lol. What did I miss? Same old story. You’re good! |
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