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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2018 15:06:29 GMT -5
Has anyone managed to be able to keep a home business, that was created while you were married, running while working together with your ex?
Sounds like wishful thinking, but wondering.
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Post by flyingsolo on Jun 14, 2018 17:50:23 GMT -5
I would think that would be tough unless you are on good terms and you both pull equal weight and are equal owners in the business. If you can't reach an agreement on that, one should consider buying the other out if the business is significant enough. Otherwise I foresee problems in the future when/if the personal issues come up in the business.
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Post by workingonit on Jun 14, 2018 18:28:48 GMT -5
There is a show about flipping houses and the couold got divorced and still do the work together. Maybe inspiration? š
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Post by workingonit on Jun 14, 2018 18:29:03 GMT -5
There is a show about flipping houses and the couple got divorced and still do the work together. Maybe inspiration? š
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2018 18:41:14 GMT -5
There is a show about flipping houses and the couple got divorced and still do the work together. Maybe inspiration? š I honestly cannot imagine it, except maybe a year or two after. |
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Post by baza on Jun 14, 2018 22:34:51 GMT -5
I guess this comes under the general heading of "Can you maintain a civil relationship with your former spouse post split".
That looks like the first hurdle, and if you can't clear that one, then I'd suggest you'd have no hope of clearing the next series of hurdles to reach a goal of respectful business partners.
Drawing on the examples in this group who are "out", it would seem possible - for some - to maintain a civil relationship after.
For others (the majority I suspect) it would not be a goer at all.
For all that, "money" can be a powerful motivator.
If you could make a sound business case to Mrs @shynjdude that keeping the home business going would have positive financial benefits for her, then you might have a goer...if she (and you) can put the past behind.
Which brings up the matter that your split up is NOT - at this point - a "past" matter that you are currently 'getting over'.
At this moment, the split up is actually a potential future matter which has yet to happen.
Do you two make most of your income out of this business Brother ?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2018 22:47:38 GMT -5
No, baza, it's a relatively small amount of income, but it is very emotionally satisfying work. And the wife needs this business for her mental health IMHO but she probably cannot run it without me. The business allows her to interact with community leaders and she thrives on that. I am trying to anticipate roadblocks, that's all. I would only keep the business going to be nice. But I can see very big problems doing that. |
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Post by baza on Jun 15, 2018 1:58:15 GMT -5
In the event of a split, how much (or how little) you are involved in each others single lives is largely dependent on 2 things.
(a) - the level of engagement you are ok with
(b) - the level of engagement your former spouse is ok with
Whichever one wants the least runs the agenda.
If, in the event of a split, and as an autonomous single compassionate adult, you still wanted to be involved as a person of support to her, you might offer that. That would be your choice.
She might accept that. She might not. That's her choice to make as a single autonomous adult.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jun 15, 2018 9:05:54 GMT -5
Umm I wouldnāt advise it. Itās just another way to keep you two connected and you struggling to be your true self while still involved in the screwy dynamic with her. Unnecessary barrier to your ānew lifeā. Itās commendable that you want to do it for her but this is now your time to think about what YOU want and need.
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Post by shamwow on Jun 15, 2018 21:20:13 GMT -5
Has anyone managed to be able to keep a home business, that was created while you were married, running while working together with your ex? Sounds like wishful thinking, but wondering. I tried to during the divorce, but nixed that idea as soon as I realized she was depositing her paychecks into her newly opened personal accounts rather than the common account as we agreed. It was embarrassing and awkward that my business partner discovered it. But we kept paying her so she would have a pay history to buy a house post marriage. My partner really did me a solid on that one since she wasn't really doing much work and half the money was coming out of his pocket. She wouldn't have done that before divorce started but once the veneer of marriage is stripped you really find out who you've been married to for all those years. So no. We were not able to make it work. I fired her as soon as the ink was dry on her new mortgage (she put a couple hundred grand down on the house and had started another job by that point BTW) |
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Post by shamwow on Jun 15, 2018 21:27:46 GMT -5
Umm I wouldnāt advise it. Itās just another way to keep you two connected and you struggling to be your true self while still involved in the screwy dynamic with her. Unnecessary barrier to your ānew lifeā. Itās commendable that you want to do it for her but this is now your time to think about what YOU want and need. I would tend to agree. You would be surprised how hard it is to disassociate the "us" of the marriage after you're out even if you have minimal ties. Is the business something that can run on "cruise control" for a period of a few months? If so I'd advise that and if things are truly amicable discuss an arrangement as baza suggests. One additional thing. If you divorce her, you are no longer responsible for her or her health (mental or otherwise). If the business helps her, great. If it makes money she can find someone else to help her with it. If it doesn't make money which makes it a hobby. Most divorced folks don't do hobbies together. |
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