|
Post by sunflower on May 28, 2018 7:45:19 GMT -5
Living in a SM is making me feel like I´m not good enough at anything... The thought in my head is that I´m not worth even for a fuck! Besides, I feel like no one really cares about what I´m going through. I´ve told about my SM and depression to a few friends, but all of them are too busy with their own lifes and don´t even message me to ask how I am... My terapist want me to have an affair cause he believes that lack of sex is the only issue, since my H is a good and decent man, a good father, who respect me and pay all the bills. But is hard to be with someone that don´t desires you. I´m feeling so lonely and I´m sorry about this post but I needed to vent since it seems I don´t have anyone to support me at the moment...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 28, 2018 8:15:02 GMT -5
Welcome, sunflower. You will find that a lot of people here have gone through the same thing, and you will get plenty of validation, support and advice.
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on May 28, 2018 8:25:14 GMT -5
Here's a video for you that I dug up out of the archives. I believe it will give you validation to your concerns, fears, and thoughts. it will help you understand that you are not alone and that the consequences of a SM are much deeper than most people realize, especially for a woman. it's one of the worlds best kept secrets in society.
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on May 28, 2018 10:19:37 GMT -5
Sorry you are struggling. I hope you will find some comfort and support here. Have you had the Talk with your H?
Do you and your husband do things together outside of the bedroom?
What did he say was the reason? (Realize what he says might not be the truth)
I agree with your therapist in regards to your mental and emotional state is because you do not feel wanted and desired. Find that for yourself. Especially being a woman it's not tough to find a man to please you and give you back that self confidence and repair your self esteem, heck it may take a few men but enjoy that journey and gift that you can give yourself.
|
|
|
Post by alex24 on May 28, 2018 13:00:49 GMT -5
I wish I could help u Living in a SM is making me feel like I´m not good enough at anything... The thought in my head is that I´m not worth even for a fuck! Besides, I feel like no one really cares about what I´m going through. I´ve told about my SM and depression to a few friends, but all of them are too busy with their own lifes and don´t even message me to ask how I am... My terapist want me to have an affair cause he believes that lack of sex is the only issue, since my H is a good and decent man, a good father, who respect me and pay all the bills. But is hard to be with someone that don´t desires you. I´m feeling so lonely and I´m sorry about this post but I needed to vent since it seems I don´t have anyone to support me at the moment...
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on May 28, 2018 13:25:06 GMT -5
Sunflower said: “My terapist want me to have an affair cause he believes that lack of sex is the only issue, since my H is a good and decent man, a good father, who respect me and pay all the bills. But is hard to be with someone that don´t desires you. ”
Is your therapist licensed? Most would never give such advice but would help you figure out your own path.
The dangers of an affair include:
It could blow up on your face and you could get pregnant, an STD or have a nasty divorce (including the loss of friends) due to being found out.
It would not substitute for being in a committed relationship with a good man who loves you and makes love to you.
Could your therapist be trying to lure you into an affair with them? That btw is unethical and such a therapist could lose their license.
|
|
|
Post by baza on May 28, 2018 19:42:08 GMT -5
It reads like you are taking a position that - "Everything is great bar the sex" - Sister sunflower . That is something well worth putting under the microscope for a searching examination. Lots of stories here start off that "everything is great bar the sex". Not too many end that way. Welcome to the zoo.
|
|
|
Post by pollyp on May 29, 2018 3:48:02 GMT -5
I personally do not think having an affair is the right way to go. well certainly not for me, I would be breaking my marriage vows so would rather be honest and part before I went into a new relationship. YET we all have to do what we need to do. This situation is devastating ,in my case I have begun to loathe myself believing that if I was younger, sexier and more attractive he would desire me as I do him Everything in my life is great too except the sex!!! yet I find it is spoiling everything. I live in a constant state of sexual frustration yet have become embarrassed by my constant need to masturbate. life is full of sex thoughts until I feel I am going mad.
|
|
|
Post by michael on May 29, 2018 3:59:25 GMT -5
I would highly recommend you don’t have an affair. Your husband probably isn’t intentionally hurting you. An affair is something you will never be able to take back. If he found out, it is almost certain to destroy the relationship you have with him.
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 6:41:30 GMT -5
Here's a video for you that I dug up out of the archives. I believe it will give you validation to your concerns, fears, and thoughts. it will help you understand that you are not alone and that the consequences of a SM are much deeper than most people realize, especially for a woman. it's one of the worlds best kept secrets in society. Thank you so much for the video. Yes, I believe is harder for a woman to not feel wanted and desired...
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 6:50:26 GMT -5
Sorry you are struggling. I hope you will find some comfort and support here. Have you had the Talk with your H? Do you and your husband do things together outside of the bedroom? What did he say was the reason? (Realize what he says might not be the truth) I agree with your therapist in regards to your mental and emotional state is because you do not feel wanted and desired. Find that for yourself. Especially being a woman it's not tough to find a man to please you and give you back that self confidence and repair your self esteem, heck it may take a few men but enjoy that journey and gift that you can give yourself. Yes, I had the talk with him already. He didn´t say a reason. He only apologizes telling he knows about what is happening and that he will try to make things better... But sadly I think I had the talk a little too late. I´m feeling devastated and hopeless, and although I want to have sex and think about it everyday I don´t want to have sex with him anymore. Is that normal? I´m feeling I´m getting crazy sometimes.
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 6:58:30 GMT -5
Sunflower said: “My terapist want me to have an affair cause he believes that lack of sex is the only issue, since my H is a good and decent man, a good father, who respect me and pay all the bills. But is hard to be with someone that don´t desires you. ” Is your therapist licensed? Most would never give such advice but would help you figure out your own path. The dangers of an affair include: It could blow up on your face and you could get pregnant, an STD or have a nasty divorce (including the loss of friends) due to being found out. It would not substitute for being in a committed relationship with a good man who loves you and makes love to you. Could your therapist be trying to lure you into an affair with them? That btw is unethical and such a therapist could lose their license. I guess he is... He is my friend´s husband and until last appointment I thought everything was ok but your words are making me believe that he could really be trying something else. Too much compliments to me and my body that I thought he could be saying to help with my self esteem... maybe he has other intentions.
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 7:02:37 GMT -5
It reads like you are taking a position that - "Everything is great bar the sex" - Sister sunflower . That is something well worth putting under the microscope for a searching examination. Lots of stories here start off that "everything is great bar the sex". Not too many end that way. Welcome to the zoo. Yes, you are right. He is my best friend and we do have a lot in common. But a marriage without sex is only a friendship. I don´t need to be married to be friends with him... I miss the intimacy and to be wanted and desired. Its killing me. I guess no one outside a SM can understand that right?
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 7:08:42 GMT -5
I personally do not think having an affair is the right way to go. well certainly not for me, I would be breaking my marriage vows so would rather be honest and part before I went into a new relationship. YET we all have to do what we need to do. This situation is devastating ,in my case I have begun to loathe myself believing that if I was younger, sexier and more attractive he would desire me as I do him Everything in my life is great too except the sex!!! yet I find it is spoiling everything. I live in a constant state of sexual frustration yet have become embarrassed by my constant need to masturbate. life is full of sex thoughts until I feel I am going mad. I know exactly what you´re living... I don´t think I could have an affair. Not now. For a while I tried to find some validation by sending my pics to men I met on internet... I´m not proud of what I did, but I don´t sorry about it too... All I wanted was to feel desired again.
|
|
|
Post by sunflower on May 29, 2018 7:09:47 GMT -5
I would highly recommend you don’t have an affair. Your husband probably isn’t intentionally hurting you. An affair is something you will never be able to take back. If he found out, it is almost certain to destroy the relationship you have with him. I agree... and I don´t think I could have an affair. Not now
|
|