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Post by afrogofhope on Dec 31, 2017 3:43:09 GMT -5
Hello all. Talking about this is very hard for me. I'm not prone to sharing intimate things about relationship, I don't really know how much is being disloyal. I love my wife, my best friend, but I'm really struggling.
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Post by brian on Dec 31, 2017 4:13:47 GMT -5
Hello all. Talking about this is very hard for me. I'm not prone to sharing intimate things about relationship, I don't really know how much is being disloyal. I love my wife, my best friend, but I'm really struggling. About disloyalty... are you supposed to keep everything bottled up? She has already shown you great disregard about your feelings and needs (one could even say 'disloyal' to the nature of marriage). Does she expect you to suffer in silence forever?
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Post by M2G on Dec 31, 2017 5:24:34 GMT -5
Hello all. Talking about this is very hard for me. I'm not prone to sharing intimate things about relationship, I don't really know how much is being disloyal. I love my wife, my best friend, but I'm really struggling. Welcome afrogofhopeThat's why we don't use real names in here (well, at least most of us). I came here because my wife refused sex, and refused to talk about refusing sex beyond the word "no." The fact that you are here, indicates that your wife is probably refusing to have sex with you - how disloyal is that, in a committed relationship? At the least, the "have and hold" part of your wedding vows seem to be broken? No pressure here though - you're free to just read an comment, or not. Whatever you decide to do - I hope you find what you're looking for (though I must caution you that what you find, may not be what you want to find). Happy New Year!
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Post by emptynside on Dec 31, 2017 11:55:22 GMT -5
emptynside : ["do you think you deserve sex tonight...?" How loaded a question is that? ] I am not an empath, but my impression is that it is intended to be hurtful. It is intended to deter you from asking for something that, if everything really was great, she would be into anyway. She gets no pleasure? She has no desire? There is nothing good in it for her? The most important question I asked myself when I faced my wife's version of this was, "Is this really the kind of sex I want?" The echoing "no" response ended my requests for more. ironhamster, thanks for your empathy man! Over the last 5-6 years it has happened most nights that she would say this and she doesn't want sex during the day, only when the lights are out. She got offended when I asked why she doesn't undress in front of me over the last 5-6 years. I just don't know what to do man.... we have a few kids, I feel like I need to leave yet I don't want to miss out on kids. I know it will be a huge change. I have will probably have to retrain for a different job, we have never had money in the bank because we have been working in Christian ministry. I really desire to be held, cuddled, romanticised, but where do you go and start.... I don't even feel like I might find someone else who would love me... I am over just over the hill now, overweight... Do I stick it out for the kids? Don't get me wrong, there are days we have fun as a family but there is not affection, no sex right now, and when we had sex in the past it was not fun at all.... So tired of this, feel like I am lying working as a minister, when my life inside is dead. Maybe sharing this will help other Christians come out and express their inner struggles. Anyway, have to go! Have responsibilities. Happy New Years!
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 31, 2017 12:17:25 GMT -5
Hello all. Talking about this is very hard for me. I'm not prone to sharing intimate things about relationship, I don't really know how much is being disloyal. I love my wife, my best friend, but I'm really struggling. I totally get the feeling that talking about this is airing your spouse's dirty laundry to the public when you feel it's your duty to be your spouse's defender. United against the world, and all. It does feel uncomfortable at the start (especially for guys who have been conditioned to "grin and bear it"), but can be very liberating to finally discuss. Using pen names here is what gives folks the freedom to speak honestly from the heart, and share and ask things they couldn't discuss with their friends out of shame or fear that it'd reflect badly on their spouse or themselves.
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