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Post by ted on Mar 1, 2018 1:13:28 GMT -5
lwoetin, I had a new relationship for a while during the separation. So far as I know, she hasn't. For what was I waiting? Her to show some sign she wanted me, I guess. Sounds pretty stupid when I say it out loud. Now I'm just waiting for the goddam lawyers—geez, that's a subject for another thread. I always cringe a bit when anyone says they still love their refuser and therefore won't leave. Don't you deserve to be loved too? Why do you act obligated to someone who doesn't reciprocate? What's going to sustain you as you give without return? (I know, I know—pot, meet kettle. I'm trying to learn from these projections of mine.)
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Post by csl on Mar 1, 2018 12:11:30 GMT -5
I always cringe a bit when anyone says they still love their refuser and therefore won't leave. Don't you deserve to be loved too? Why do you act obligated to someone who doesn't reciprocate? What's going to sustain you as you give without return? (I know, I know—pot, meet kettle. I'm trying to learn from these projections of mine.) I addressed that in one of my posts: Plucked Chicken. |
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Post by ted on Mar 1, 2018 12:44:22 GMT -5
Good blog entry, csl. That's a brutal and apt analogy. |
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Post by Caris on Mar 1, 2018 19:27:26 GMT -5
lwoetin, I had a new relationship for a while during the separation. So far as I know, she hasn't. For what was I waiting? Her to show some sign she wanted me, I guess. Sounds pretty stupid when I say it out loud. Now I'm just waiting for the goddam lawyers—geez, that's a subject for another thread. I always cringe a bit when anyone says they still love their refuser and therefore won't leave. Don't you deserve to be loved too? Why do you act obligated to someone who doesn't reciprocate? What's going to sustain you as you give without return? (I know, I know—pot, meet kettle. I'm trying to learn from these projections of mine.) Just so you know that there is no guarantee that you will be loved after you leave your refuser. Some do find love, and are loved, and some don’t. Some don’t even find a date, or sex, or touch, or affection. I suppose one has more chance of finding all these things post marriage, yet some find these things while still married. It’s a toss of the dice really. |
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 2, 2018 0:59:44 GMT -5
lwoetin , I had a new relationship for a while during the separation. So far as I know, she hasn't. For what was I waiting? Her to show some sign she wanted me, I guess. Sounds pretty stupid when I say it out loud. Now I'm just waiting for the goddam lawyers—geez, that's a subject for another thread. I always cringe a bit when anyone says they still love their refuser and therefore won't leave. Don't you deserve to be loved too? Why do you act obligated to someone who doesn't reciprocate? What's going to sustain you as you give without return? (I know, I know—pot, meet kettle. I'm trying to learn from these projections of mine.) It doesn't sound pretty stupid if he still has strong feelings for his spouse. (That's what I tell myself.) I'm poking for answers from you to learn also. Your trajectory can possibly be mine in the future. Well, it's not that I won't leave. It's that I still think/hope we can work something out. Also I am loved. Just not sexually. If bullets are raining down and I am hurt, she would shield me to save me. Then there's the kids, the 11th and 8th grader. I don't think they can imagine their parents apart, they are quite happy as is. That's my sustenance....until it resolves into ( ranked in order of preference)....JOYFUL recovery, recovery, college plan exit, insanity, or celibacy chastity. |
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