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Post by daffodilone on May 15, 2016 20:10:04 GMT -5
I found ep last fall. I didn't have a lot to say there, and I guess I don't here either. I'm still married. Still sexless. And my h's health is not much better. There are some things I do refuse to fall victim to. I will not stop wearing lingerie that pleases me. I will not lose my sense of humour. I will not wallow in self pity. I will live my life as I see fit, and I will try not to verbally beat up those that do choose to play alone in their 'pity parties'. And at this moment, I'd really like to.
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Post by wewbwb on May 15, 2016 20:33:47 GMT -5
If you choose to share your story, dreams, fears, and sense of humor with us, we will thank you.
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Post by Pinkberry on May 16, 2016 0:01:52 GMT -5
Why in the world would someone else's pity party bother you? Everyone deals with things differently.
If you aren't seeing your SM as a problem that really affects your life, what do you hope to gain by posting here?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 2:02:37 GMT -5
Why in the world would someone else's pity party bother you? Everyone deals with things differently. If you aren't seeing your SM as a problem that really affects your life, what do you hope to gain by posting here? Thinking and wondering the same thing as Pinkberry. I came here for support for my situation. And yes, pity party comes with said situation, at least occasionally. I think feeling sad and sorry over what we're going through is a hallmark of normal human emotion. I'd be really hurt if I came here only to be "verbally beat up" for feeling sad that I live with a jerk. So far, I've been warmly welcomed here and feel very supported. Thank you to those commenting and messaging and helping me pull it together. daffodilone, I'm glad that you decided to refrain from negative comments. Many of us here are getting our fair share of emotional and verbal abuse in our very own homes on a daily basis. |
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Post by petrushka on May 16, 2016 2:31:13 GMT -5
There is caring and support and a warm welcome. There are people who come here to get support and insight and help - and most of us try hard to supply that. Most of us need caring and support and a welcome from time to time. I was depressed the other day, and two people bestirred themselves and sent me a personal message that my presence and my contribution was appreciated, even though I had feelings of alienation. And thank you for that.
Then there are a few who come here for what I understand to be a 'pity party', which is they want a lot of people to say 'there there' and basically enable them to go on as they were, and they get snarky and passive aggressive when anyone does not go 'there there' unquestioningly. Those ones get up my nose as well, even if it may take a while to sniff them out. All I have to do, however, is to avoid playing in their space.
This is the spirit in which I take/understand Daffodilone's post.
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 14:14:41 GMT -5
There is caring and support and a warm welcome. There are people who come here to get support and insight and help - and most of us try hard to supply that. Most of us need caring and support and a welcome from time to time. I was depressed the other day, and two people bestirred themselves and sent me a personal message that my presence and my contribution was appreciated, even though I had feelings of alienation. And thank you for that. Then there are a few who come here for what I understand to be a 'pity party', which is they want a lot of people to say 'there there' and basically enable them to go on as they were, and they get snarky and passive aggressive when anyone does not go 'there there' unquestioningly. Those ones get up my nose as well, even if it may take a while to sniff them out. All I have to do, however, is to avoid playing in their space. This is the spirit in which I take/understand Daffodilone's post. Such a thoughtful reply, petrushka. Your good, kind soul shines through in your posts. I most certainly appreciate your educated and thoughtful contributions. |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 17:45:54 GMT -5
I found ep last fall. I didn't have a lot to say there, and I guess I don't here either. I'm still married. Still sexless. And my h's health is not much better. There are some things I do refuse to fall victim to. I will not stop wearing lingerie that pleases me. I will not lose my sense of humour. I will not wallow in self pity. I will live my life as I see fit, and I will try not to verbally beat up those that do choose to play alone in their 'pity parties'. And at this moment, I'd really like to. I have found most folks here are warm, supportive and welcoming. Yes, there are folks who are in a negative head space and want to vent. If it's something I feel strongly about, or have established a friendly rapport with the person, I will say something. If not, I don't. No harm, no foul. I would say engage in some of the discussions to see if it's for you, or not. Either way, I wish you well and bid you peace. |
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nahmastay
Junior Member
Posts: 29 
Age Range: 46-50
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hmmm...
May 16, 2016 23:24:46 GMT -5
Post by nahmastay on May 16, 2016 23:24:46 GMT -5
Anger, fear, negativity and even self pity can be stages of healing. I can understand how seeing only the pity voiced could be viewed as a misery loves company scenario and although for some it may be counterproductive but for so many, this place may be the only space they have to speak openly about what bothers them. The pendulum swings both ways . Daffodilone, I applaud your convictions to do you and make yourself happy. It takes a great deal of strength to do so. Not all of us have that capacity 100% of the time. I have many great days laced with a few pitiful moments. That's how I like to look at it, for my sanity sake.
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