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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2018 15:50:22 GMT -5
A few days ago, I saw an attractive man about my age checking out the books in the relationships/self-help section of a bookstore.
I believe in reinforcing good behavior when I see it, so I said, “It’s great to see a guy in this section.” We then got into a conversation about his divorce, and also about some work-related things we had in common.
He told me his name and said he was on LinkedIn. So later that day, I sent him a friend request for LinkedIn. Haven’t heard back.
That’s disappointing, but as I’ve said before - if he’s going to flake out on me, better early than late.
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Post by wewbwb on Feb 13, 2018 16:56:47 GMT -5
A few days ago, I saw an attractive man about my age checking out the books in the relationships/self-help section of a bookstore. I believe in reinforcing good behavior when I see it, so I said, “It’s great to see a guy in this section.” We then got into a conversation about his divorce, and also about some work-related things we had in common. He told me his name and said he was on LinkedIn. So later that day, I sent him a friend request for LinkedIn. Haven’t heard back. That’s disappointing, but as I’ve said before - if he’s going to flake out on me, better early than late. At least he wasn't on Grinder. |
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Post by baza on Feb 13, 2018 19:41:50 GMT -5
A few days ago, I saw an attractive man about my age checking out the books in the relationships/self-help section of a bookstore. I believe in reinforcing good behavior when I see it, so I said, “It’s great to see a guy in this section.” We then got into a conversation about his divorce, and also about some work-related things we had in common. He told me his name and said he was on LinkedIn. So later that day, I sent him a friend request for LinkedIn. Haven’t heard back. That’s disappointing, but as I’ve said before - if he’s going to flake out on me, better early than late. This is interesting, particularly if read in conjunction with that thread about "9 Questions You Should Ask On A Date" Here is what one might deduce about this bookstore bloke from the described exchange. #1 - he presents himself well. #2 - he is at least literate. #3 - he is probably interested in relationship dynamics. #4 - he is divorced and potentially available #5 - he is a passable conversationalist #6 - he is employed #7 - you've even got a name, apparently his real name #8 - he wasn't carrying an axe So you've gotten a 8 bits of information out of him and it ain't even a date !! Now it may be that his failure to respond to your friend request means - - - - #9 - that he's not interested in you (jury is still out there) But the wider point I am trying to make is that if you engage someone in conversation, you can, by keeping your eyes and ears open, find out quite a lot. Keep your policy of "subtle information gathering" going Sister @smartkat . It is a great skill you have. |
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 14, 2018 7:46:19 GMT -5
He may not have seen your friend request. I miss linked in requests and messages.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2018 10:53:21 GMT -5
I see nothing negative here, @smartkat.
You saw an opportunity and you did exactly what you should do.
Just because he didn't (yet) respond shouldn't affect how you act. You did it right. You just need to keep doing it.
And, damn, that is a great place to meet guys!
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 14, 2018 11:01:21 GMT -5
What shyndude said! You saw a prospect and were appropriately assertive about connecting. You’ve also found a place where you might meet guys who are good matches for you. You also met him by being yourself doing what you enjoy.
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 14, 2018 19:12:27 GMT -5
I echo what has already been said about the possibility of him not having seen your friend request. I also was thinking that if he was in the relationship/self help section maybe he is thinking he needs to sort out his issues before engaging in anything potentially romantic. Maybe he isn't ready and knows it. Give him a bit of time.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 14, 2018 19:17:42 GMT -5
Accepting a Linkedin request is very low ball as such requests typically are done for business purposes not for flirtation or more social purposes. More reason to think that he probably just hasn't seen the request. Lots of people only pay attention to LinkedIn when they are job hunting.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Feb 14, 2018 23:01:38 GMT -5
FWIW Im on linkedin. Used to be fairly active (check 1x a day). I now will go weeks or months at a time without checking.
I dont think it means anything one way or the other. Maybe he doesnt check.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2018 14:01:11 GMT -5
Well, since this apparent loss of interest happened early, it’s not the end of the world. The ball is in his court now.
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Post by Dan on Feb 20, 2018 20:48:34 GMT -5
@smartkat : a few days have gone by. Try another time at is LinkedIn to get is attention. Like send an actual message instead of just a friend request.
And if that doesn't work, get yourself a tranquilizer gun and use it thusly: the next time you see a worthy specimen in the relationships/self-help section, take him down and haul him back to your place without anybody noticing...
Just consider this an extreme form of "self help"!
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 20, 2018 21:17:32 GMT -5
I view linked in as impersonal and for career use, not following up on a flirtation. If I were flirting with someone and wanted to stay in touch, I’d ask him if he’d like to join me for coffee and then I’d friend him on FB, a FB with my real name. A linked in friend request seems like offering s professional relationship of a request for help getting a job. I’ve never used LinkedIn for romantic or even friendship purposes.
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Post by obobfla on Feb 20, 2018 22:42:39 GMT -5
LinkedIn is one of few social media forums where everyone posts their actual picture. So, some of the more attractive women there find themselves getting hit on. I’ve seen more than one post asking men not to use it to ask for dates.
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Post by Dan on Feb 20, 2018 23:52:51 GMT -5
LinkedIn is one of few social media forums where everyone posts their actual picture. So, some of the more attractive women there find themselves getting hit on. I’ve seen more than one post asking men not to use it to ask for dates. Is that why you use a Donald Duck avatar? Because if you used your real picture, too many women would be hitting on you? 😉 |
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Post by obobfla on Feb 21, 2018 0:13:46 GMT -5
LinkedIn is one of few social media forums where everyone posts their actual picture. So, some of the more attractive women there find themselves getting hit on. I’ve seen more than one post asking men not to use it to ask for dates. Is that why you use a Donald Duck avatar? Because if you used your real picture, too many women would be hitting on you? 😉 I wish that were the case. Instead, Donald is my wingman. I use Donald for two reasons. One, I live near Orlando and the Mouse House. The other is that when my son was very young, I would do Donald Duck imitations when I kissed him good night. We still do the “Applecore” routine with Donald, Chip, and Dale. |
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