I have become a huge fan of this Mark Manson bloke since seeing a linked article by him about a year ago. The more of his stuff I read the more sense he makes. I am presently reading his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck". He is an absolute gun.
Thanks for the share surfergirl. I guess you can’t go home again. But you can resolve some things in your head when you do.
I met up with a girl I used to date. She and her man liked hockey so we all went together - my wife, my son, her, and her man. It was a good time. Best part of it was that I talked to her man. Quiet guy, but big, bearded, and strong. Seemed like he would always be there for him. I knew several other people she dated, but this guy really fit her. I told her that this guy was the best fit of anyone she ever dated, including me. I was so glad she found someone like him.
The "drama" is oftentimes the only aspect of the ILIASM shithole that involves "passion". Negative passion to be sure, but at least some form of passion. And often, the only emotional connection left in an ILIASM deal is negative passion. And that has to be fed by ongoing and/or new "drama".
This weird kabuki dance of one pursuing engagement and the other rejecting it becomes what the relationship is based on. That's its' raison d'être, the prime reason for the relationship to continue.
Both spouses know their role - and each others role - and there is some form of connection in the dance.
But the bonding agent - "drama" - is not unique to refusers. You don't have to look far into the stories here to see refused spouse's engaging in it too.
The "pursuit and rejection dance" requires two participants.
And if you didn't have the "drama" holding you together, what would actually be left - if anything - as far as passion goes ?
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
mirrororchid: If something is troubling you and thoughts are keeping the sandman away, venting at 7cups.com may help? If you're just awake inconveniently and want cyber company, chatzy.com may have a group similarly unoccupied.
Mar 28, 2022 6:01:09 GMT -5
jim44444: Thank.you Admin for deleting the spammers
Mar 31, 2022 8:52:13 GMT -5
njsojourner: My advice to those Suffering: screw it! Literally. Everyone deserves a fulfilling sexual life. Get it however you can. Life is short. I have no illusions —when I get caught my wife will have to decide what’s most important to her. I am not stopping!
Mar 31, 2022 21:05:18 GMT -5
desertfather: I just felt lonely lately. Wanted to talk to someone.
Apr 5, 2022 8:29:18 GMT -5
mirrororchid: I mention a few online chat rooms a few posts up, desertfather. Meetup.com provides real live people to chat with. Given your ILIASM situation, a lot of folks locate a therapist. (helpful for touchy subjects you can't go over with friends for over a year.
Apr 6, 2022 4:50:03 GMT -5