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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 9:26:12 GMT -5
A Facebook memory via "On This Day" popped up on my screen today.
It was from NINE years ago.
I had put a little cheer for our state's football team who must have been in some kind of a play off game.
My husband at the time (ex husband) posted below me, "And how many minutes have you invested in watching the game, exactly?"
I spun off that in a light manner... jokingly, etc.... but I remember thinking, "He just NEVER has my back!!!"
And he didn't.
And I am so glad I am not there anymore. SO GLAD!
I was surprised by the amount of emotion I felt upon seeing that this morning, actually. Tightness in my chest, feeling dejected all over again.
I shook it off and remembered where I am. Thankful I took that step to LEAVE on to a better life.
Don't stay with someone who doesn't have your back, someone who would demean you in front of others.
A loving spouse doesn't do that shit. They just DON'T. I know this now.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 9:30:09 GMT -5
P.S. I have always loved sports, but no, I didn't sit for hours and hours for EVERY SINGLE GAME that year. I got into things during the playoffs and my ex would make fun of me for that.
I can hear people defending him, saying "maybe he was just joking." But, sarcasm, joking, putting a spouse down is not funny stuff. It adds up and kills a relationship.
What BUILDS a relationship is BUILDING each other up.
Truth.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 9:31:22 GMT -5
One more P.S. SKOL  My husband now and I are having damn fun this football season (we have watched every single game this year.. lol). When I posted my cheer last weekend, my husband replied, "So glad I got to see it with my Angel!" Life definitely gets better. Have a great weekend, everyone! |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 9:39:30 GMT -5
Oh. One more. I deleted the post so it doesn't pop up again.
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Post by shamwow on Jan 19, 2018 10:10:59 GMT -5
My ex always had my back on social media. Just never in the real world. Gotta keep up illusions after all.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 10:48:10 GMT -5
My ex always had my back on social media. Just never in the real world. Gotta keep up illusions after all. Ah, yes, then there's that. No, that wouldn't satisfy me at all if behind the scenes didn't match in front of the scenes. Facades, illusions, are not something I would stand for. I keep things real, but light, on Facebook. Never once in all my first marriage did I post one stitch of anything shmultzy to my ex. Infact, even buying a card for any occasion for him was a chore - nothing ever "fit." |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 19, 2018 10:54:23 GMT -5
My STBX would watch every college football game before and shortly after our marriage. She arranged it so that when her team scored I would give her passionate kisses, and vice-a-versa. Sounds pretty kinky and passionate hugh? All part of the love-bombing.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 11:57:46 GMT -5
My STBX would watch every college football game before and shortly after our marriage. She arranged it so that when her team scored I would give her passionate kisses, and vice-a-versa. Sounds pretty kinky and passionate hugh? All part of the love-bombing. So you are saying she quit that practice shortly after you got married, right? Yes, that's a love bomb. It's inevitable that people change as they go through the years,but yes, sometimes people just flat out lie who they are and then can no longer keep up the facade. That is why it is most important to know thyself and to thine own self be true. I am not telling YOU this, just sharing the thought out loud, I know you are well-versed/educated on all this stuff. Thanks for sharing it with others! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 19, 2018 12:12:14 GMT -5
My STBX would watch every college football game before and shortly after our marriage. She arranged it so that when her team scored I would give her passionate kisses, and vice-a-versa. Sounds pretty kinky and passionate hugh? All part of the love-bombing. So you are saying she quit that practice shortly after you got married, right? Yes, that's a love bomb. It's inevitable that people change as they go through the years,but yes, sometimes people just flat out lie who they are and then can no longer keep up the facade. That is why it is most important to know thyself and to thine own self be true. I am not telling YOU this, just sharing the thought out loud, I know you are well-versed/educated on all this stuff. Thanks for sharing it with others! Yup, maybe it lasted a year or two. There's more to that story. Many a football season I would want to be outdoors working on the house and the landscape, WITH MY LOVELY WIFE BESIDE ME working on OUR house TOGETHER!! Knowing the kissing would lead to nothing , I retreated outdoors while she remained glued to the TV. I also sometimes stumble upon a picture of my new Wife in our tree. YES, climbing our very large double trunked magnolia tree that we would string thousands of Christmas lights in that could be seen 25 houses away ,since we lived at the top of the hill. Do you think my W has ever climbed a tree with me ever again? LOL!! There's so many things she will never do. Just to summarize it- so much of the working side by side vanished with the introduction of children/babies. Too much of the "family first" while being shoved on the back burner of a broken stove. |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 19, 2018 12:28:30 GMT -5
So you are saying she quit that practice shortly after you got married, right? Yes, that's a love bomb. It's inevitable that people change as they go through the years,but yes, sometimes people just flat out lie who they are and then can no longer keep up the facade. That is why it is most important to know thyself and to thine own self be true. I am not telling YOU this, just sharing the thought out loud, I know you are well-versed/educated on all this stuff. Thanks for sharing it with others! Yup, maybe it lasted a year or two. There's more to that story. Many a football season I would want to be outdoors working on the house and the landscape, WITH MY LOVELY WIFE BESIDE ME working on OUR house TOGETHER!! Knowing the kissing would lead to nothing , I retreated outdoors while she remained glued to the TV. I also sometimes stumble upon a picture of my new Wife in our tree. YES, climbing our very large double trunked magnolia tree that we would string thousands of Christmas lights in that could be seen 25 houses away ,since we lived at the top of the hill. Do you think my W has ever climbed a tree with me ever again? LOL!! There's so many things she will never do. Just to summarize it- so much of the working side by side vanished with the introduction of children/babies. Too much of the "family first" while being shoved on the back burner of a broken stove. I can't "like" what you posted, but want to acknowledge. That's the whole thing, keeping it alive. It's why I stick around here even married now, it's like a constant reminder - you can't fall asleep to life/love/each other. Routine and obligation can definitely kill relationships too (along with a myriad of other stuff.. the four horsemen). "Expecting" someone to love you just because, with no effort on your part is absurd. No longer appreciating that they love you, are choosing to love you and stay by your side is detrimental to the relationship. It's the analogy of putting a beautiful plant in the deepest, darkest corner of the basement and forgetting about it there. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jan 19, 2018 20:18:22 GMT -5
One more P.S. SKOL My husband now and I are having damn fun this football season (we have watched every single game this year.. lol). When I posted my cheer last weekend, my husband replied, "So glad I got to see it with my Angel!" Life definitely gets better. Have a great weekend, everyone! that was an amazing ending. And Payton mocking the fans by doing the Skol...right before he wet his pants. Precious. (Carolina fans appreciated that!) |
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Post by waiting4what on Jan 19, 2018 22:07:46 GMT -5
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Post by WindSister on Jan 22, 2018 10:20:39 GMT -5
Still standing by my team. Tough game, tough loss (especially to such a poor sportmanship fan base that we now have to welcome into our home) but, it's just a game. Life goes on!  |
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