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Post by Caris on Jan 14, 2018 22:34:21 GMT -5
I wonder if I’m the only woman who has never had a date after being on a dating site for 7-months? OKC became even worse after they changed their messaging system. I’d be notified of messages that I couldn’t find anywhere. Apparently you have to swipe through many profiles to find a guy who has sent you a message. It’s absurd. They made it so you have to go hunting to find the message. As I’m no longer 5-years-old, I don’t enjoy this game, especially when you eventually find the message, and it says, “Hi.” What a stupid way to run a dating site. I’ve disabled my account, and deleted the app. So that’s the end of that one in a million message I was holding out for, where the stars aligned, and I met that special guy that was going to end my 27-year romantic drought. Oh well...I learned late in life that hope is overrated, and good riddance to dating sites.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 14, 2018 23:14:23 GMT -5
Just keep in mind, Caris, that you didn't have a date because you weren't interested in the men who messaged you. Your previous posts as well as this one have indicated that for one reason or another -- reasons such as poorly written messages or guys who lived too far away -- you weren't interested. You have every right to reject men who don't interest you, so I'm not criticizing you. I'm suggesting that you remind yourself that the reason you didn't have a date was because none of the men who reached out to you interested you. The reason was NOT that you were too unappealing to attract interest.
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Post by obobfla on Jan 15, 2018 0:29:56 GMT -5
In the very short time I have been out there on dating sites, I have had mixed success. OKC has actually been one of the better ones for me. I met one nice lady who I met for dinner. No sparks for romance, but she and I have developed a rapport. It might be the beginnings of a good friendship. I have also corresponded with another interesting lady I met on OurTime. Again, not sure about romance but we have a lot of common interests.
The rest has been a mixed bag. I am fortunate that single women outnumber men at my age, but many of the women have the same unrealistic visions of romance as younger girls. They want that “soulmate” and immediately jump into a serious relationship. I want a relationship, but I just got out of a marriage that ended with my wife’s long illness and death. There is no need for me to rush into anything.
Then there are messages from “girls” with very pretty pictures from far-off towns. They say that they think I am handsome and want me to text them. In reality, they think I have a nice wallet filled with money.
Where I have had the best luck are on forums such as these, although I have never been more than friends with anyone on this site. What I find is that because we share similar experiences and are honest with what we want, the relationships are better.
Dating sites are set up to make money. It’s quite a gig. Think of them as Bingo. The best way to win is to play lots of cards and listen for the numbers you need.
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Post by baza on Jan 15, 2018 0:40:23 GMT -5
I like that bingo comparitive Brother obobfla . You know damn well before the jump that longer term you are going to invest more money than you'll ever get back from the isolated win now and then. But provided you ain't betting the mortgage payment, where's the harm ? |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 16, 2018 11:33:58 GMT -5
I remember going on and off dating sites a lot. It's part of "the process." I tried lots of different ones, eHarmony turned out to be my favorite because it matched us up on compatibility (if you can really figure that out from questions) and didn't allow "browsing" so it eliminated the "fishing guys" who just toss "hi" or "hey." Once matched, I usually skipped the questions and the other "stuff" eHarmony suggests and went right to email to start a conversation. But, yeah, there's a lot of BS involved in the dating scene, no doubt! Breaks are a good thing.
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Post by Caris on Jan 16, 2018 18:10:07 GMT -5
WindSister, that’s the only dating site I joined. I did receive a message from the site once, saying I’d have more luck finding a date in India or the Phillapines than the U.S. I only had two serious interactions in 7-months, and by serious I mean they could carry an intelligent conversation, and we spoke on the telephone off the site, but I never met them, although that was my decision. Other than that, most were either fakes, or too far away to date, so I wasn’t inundated with men showing interest in me, and the ones who did were not my type. I don’t see it as a break, as there wasn’t much happening anyway. I’m done with it. I won’t be joining any more sites. It was a waste of time. If it doesn’t happen by happenstance in my everyday life, then it won’t be happening at all. In a way, I’ve accepted this, and made a certain peace with it...being single and alone for the rest of my life...but I still miss the intimacy of a close connection with a man. Most days I manage fine with it, but some days I really miss that companionship and closeness.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 19, 2018 21:00:13 GMT -5
I can’t bring myself to try out the dating sites. I don’t know if i fear the lack or reception or if i have just given up and don’t care about relationships anymore.
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Post by Caris on Jan 19, 2018 21:37:00 GMT -5
I can’t bring myself to try out the dating sites. I don’t know if i fear the lack or reception or if i have just given up and don’t care about relationships anymore. It could be either or both, but unless you try a paid site, I don’t think you are missing much. I only tried OKC, and it was mostly a waste of time. Not one date in 7-months. I only met two I considered meeting in person, but couldn’t bring myself to do it, the rest were not compatible with me, or fake. One of the strategies I use in my healing process is, “Look for more positive experiences in my daily life.” This includes staying away from as many negative experiences as possible. We have enough of those coming at us that is out of our control, so no need for us to add to it. What I found was OKC diminished my feeling of wellbeing, not added to it, so now it’s gone, it’s one thing less to disappoint me. |
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