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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2018 16:10:00 GMT -5
thenester.com/2016/03/5-things-people-with-tidy-homes-dont-do.htmlI consider myself a "tidy" person. I was raised that way. Shoes, clothes, books, towels, blankets, etc...don't belong on the floor. Less is more. ( a plce for everything, and everything in it's place) Dusting and vacuuming was a weekly habit. My spouse? "Not so much"! Hanging clothes up was my daily habit, my spouse? Once a week...maybe. When I confronted my spouse early in the marriage about clothes laying in a pile. I soon received the "It doesn't bother me, I don't have a problem with it". "I'll do it at the end of the week". Weeks go by. (Now it's becoming a 21 to 1 ratio!) I also recall how clean her place was when I visited. It became A red flag "after the marriage". I can testify to what a "nagging feeling" it has been for years, especially when the double standard gets placed on the kids. (do as i say, not as I do) I'm looking foward to a tidier everything in the future. The re-training of my teens scares me ! A trial and error approach.
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Post by takestwototango on Jan 11, 2018 17:49:26 GMT -5
I like to keep things tidy as well, but it is hard with the h around. He once told me he was ocd about keeping a place clean/tidy. That was a joke and a half! Unfortunately it has rubbed off on me and this little apartment we are in has become so disorganized. I keep saying I'm going to get it organized, but when I do it, it just becomes a disaster area within days again so I have given up for now.
He also used to say he couldn't stand for dishes to be left in the sink at night. How many nights are dishes left in the sink? Try about every night, lol! His only chore is keeping the litter boxes clean. But sometimes that doesn't even get done.
My mom was a slave driver on the weekends when I was a kid, though, and our house looked like a museum. I hated it, so I like to have my home look "lived in." Some day...
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Post by baza on Jan 11, 2018 18:11:00 GMT -5
I am not a particularly tidy person.
Back in the day of my ILIASM deal, my missus was no better.
Result, house looked like a bomb site.
These days, in a new environment with Ms enna (who IS a particularly tidy person) I have lifted my game quite a few notches.
I could probably make a credible claim of being 'sort of' tidy now.
Result, house looks quite presentable most of the time.
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 11, 2018 18:19:01 GMT -5
I'm not very tidy but I like things to look tidy. I have to push myself to do some sort of chore after work each day. Today I did laundry and straightened up the guest bedroom. Yesterday I cleaned a bathroom.
In my marriage house was a mess because we were both depressed and didn't care.
Since my return his house is better and looks tidy.
I do most of the housework but I don't mind.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jan 11, 2018 18:30:11 GMT -5
I am relatively tidy. I like a clean house, but can live with a little dust
I cannot stand clutter; downsizing helped me get rid of extra stuff, and I try to not add to what I have unless I get rid of other things I don't use first.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2018 19:55:33 GMT -5
The "tiddy" v's "messy" is just another branch on the tree of boundaries. Especially in a marriage. When I read this little article I thought, "another question, or standard to want when living single ,or with someone else."
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2018 20:06:43 GMT -5
I am relatively tidy. I like a clean house, but can live with a little dust I cannot stand clutter; downsizing helped me get rid of extra stuff, and I try to not add to what I have unless I get rid of other things I don't use first. I look forward to the down sizing and keeping my own place "tiddy" again. Now to contradict myself. I have my own collection of paintings that I just can't part with. Then there are some tools. Wood scrapers saws, and things that belonged to my Dad. I've never used them or they have sat idle for years. Come moving day and lack of space I may have a different attitude! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2018 20:19:05 GMT -5
I'm not very tidy but I like things to look tidy. I have to push myself to do some sort of chore after work each day. Today I did laundry and straightened up the guest bedroom. Yesterday I cleaned a bathroom. In my marriage house was a mess because we were both depressed and didn't care. Since my return his house is better and looks tidy. I do most of the housework but I don't mind. Our house is the messiest it's ever been. Due to the depression over the whole family, and my attitude of " it won't be my house anymore". Add onto that my W's rejection of how I do things, and how I handle the children.....things don't get done. One of those moments " if you don't like the way I handle it, you do it. Then it never gets done". like a game of chicken. The real losers seem to be the kids and the example that gets set. It goes back to respect and trust. " I do most of the housework but I don't mind" Stay safe and balanced dear friend! (said with love and respect.) |
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jan 11, 2018 20:27:03 GMT -5
I am relatively tidy. I like a clean house, but can live with a little dust I cannot stand clutter; downsizing helped me get rid of extra stuff, and I try to not add to what I have unless I get rid of other things I don't use first. I look forward to the down sizing and keeping my own place "tiddy" again. Now to contradict myself. I have my own collection of paintings that I just can't part with. Then there are some tools. Wood scrapers saws, and things that belonged to my Dad. I've never used them or they have sat idle for years. Come moving day and lack of space I may have a different attitude! Oh, I have things that I have to keep for sentimental reasons. I also have craft supplies that take up part of a closet; they are well organized, and that helps it feel less like clutter. Plus I do use them on occasion.  |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2018 20:42:50 GMT -5
I look forward to the down sizing and keeping my own place "tiddy" again. Now to contradict myself. I have my own collection of paintings that I just can't part with. Then there are some tools. Wood scrapers saws, and things that belonged to my Dad. I've never used them or they have sat idle for years. Come moving day and lack of space I may have a different attitude! Oh, I have things that I have to keep for sentimental reasons. I also have craft supplies that take up part of a closet; they are well organized, and that helps it feel less like clutter. Plus I do use them on occasion. I'm going to get way to deep here , I just know It! LOL! I think back about my reasons for "being stay at home dad" and I tell people, " I would be outside laying bricks ,building planter box's around the mailbox, planting tulip bulbs and hundreds of Impatiens. Taking to much pride in the appearance of my corner property house. Livin' the dream! Even the white picket fence that i rebuilt, overloaded with detail, and accuracy! (This all relates to tidiness) Meanwhile my W was indoors watching college football. I always chalked that up as " our strengths, and differences". That i would be better at taking care of the home. Now I wonder what life will be like being with someone who wants much of the same things? What is it like living with another tidy person? Will I argue more about the smallest of things? Part of me wants to! So I am no longer taken advantage of, and then I hope I wont ruin things over petty stuff. Yea...lots of restoration in the next few years. |
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 12, 2018 11:41:08 GMT -5
Relatively tidy. Hygiene is always important to me and thanks to my wife I’ve always got an exceptionally clean dick.
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Post by saarinista on Jan 16, 2018 0:13:41 GMT -5
Relatively tidy. Hygiene is always important to me and thanks to my wife I’ve always got an exceptionally clean dick. I'm so sorry. That's tragically funny. May better, dirtier days be ahead for all of us. |
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Post by saarinista on Jan 16, 2018 0:21:33 GMT -5
I grew up with a very obsessively tidy mother, and as a result sometimes have trouble keeping things picked up. Perhaps I subconsciously feel I'll never live up to her standards? I love organization, but implementing it is not easy for me, especially in a depressing marriage. When we first met, my H was very tidy. But over the years, he's gotten horribly messy. Moreover, he acts like it doesn't bother him and will create messes that just sit there for months unless I clean them up. As some are very large messes, I can't keep up with him, nor should I have to. I wonder if he is trying to make me mad? Drive me away? Or just depressed as well but can't admit it? When I suggest to him that we try to work on our piles an hour a day, read an organization book, etc., he gets mad and says I'm the disorganized one, not him. I don't deny my disorganized areas, but I am working on them and making progress. What really concerns me is that he denies the reality of his own messiness and blames me alone. That's not okay. Gee, go figure.  Anyway, I love clean and tidy. Making it a reality in a sexless marriage is not easy, though. |
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 16, 2018 4:37:37 GMT -5
Relatively tidy. Hygiene is always important to me and thanks to my wife I’ve always got an exceptionally clean dick. It’s tragically funny but that’s the way I tend to try and deal with it all. Laughing always helps so even if I am laughing at myself i quite happily make a gag at my own expense. Glad it tickled you. |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 16, 2018 12:13:45 GMT -5
Now I wonder what life will be like being with someone who wants much of the same things? What is it like living with another tidy person? Will I argue more about the smallest of things? Part of me wants to! So I am no longer taken advantage of, and then I hope I wont ruin things over petty stuff. Yea...lots of restoration in the next few years. Life with someone you "mesh with" on many levels is so so so SO much more satisfying. You will figure things out, you will. There is a way to stand up for yourself in a relationship while not being an asshole. Honest, direct and yet loving communication WORKS! There are adjustments to make no matter how well you do jive together over most things because no couple can be 100% matched up on every single aspect of life. You gotta pick the biggies -- what is important to you, what do you let go? This list is never stagnant, it's fluid and ever changing because we don't stay the same throughout the years. But when it comes to quality of life things, one needs to be clear what one wants and then not settle. |
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