Why is it hard to make friends over 30?

greatcoastal, it doesn't have to be this way.    But YOU have to get out there and make the friends and commit to the friendship.   

In the past five years, I've made two really good new male friends, and I'm working on a third.    I have a goal of making two more in the next two years.   

One I met from a dirt bikes forum.   At first, our kids were part of the glue, but his boy lost interest.   He and I ride together without kids.   Even have raced together.  

Another guy is more like a mentor.   I met him at church.   We meet every Tuesday morning at a local Starbucks before work.   He now consults with my business.   Hopefully he'll help me with my difficult business partner.    

Another I met a few months ago at a Toastmasters meeting.   He invited my son and me to a sold out symposium on nuclear power in the third millinium.  I'm joining that group, and I suspect we can also become good friends.   

My marriage was stifling.   Or more accurately, I was stifling myself for some reason.   

Allit takes is a commitment to make the investment.   There are people out there of every age wanting to make friends too.   You just have to find them and make the investment.   

This is no different than when I was in my 20s.   Even then, the only folks that were available for friendship were the ones displaced from their homes.   I had trouble making friends with locals.  They had all the friends and family they needed.   The ones that had moved to these places by themselves were more open to making new friends.  

I think for males in general we don't often have the kind of friendships where there is a lot of real bonding and almost kinship happening. Having been married for a long time I expect your friendships from bachelor days are long gone and you mostly spent time with your W's friends. Now it's time to make new friends for you.
I would suggest the easiest route would be through something like MEETUP. Doing things you enjoy with others who enjoy that activity gives you some common ground. Other shared interests might work their way into the conversation and then into reality. Or find a place to volunteer. Volunteer work attracts people from all walks of life and all ages. And people who are willing to give of themselves for others tend to be pretty decent folks generally speaking. Otherwise they wouldn't be giving their time and talents away to those less fortunate. There are all sorts of community service organizations and they are always looking for volunteers.

Easy to make male friends. First, acquire a drinking problem. Second let that particular brand of insanity rule your life. Third, realize you have a problem and start going to AA. From there you will be able to meet many other guys (often single guys) who you can hang out with as often as you like. Often this is several times per week 😉

It's funny, though, even though I never thought I'd rebuild my social circle through alcoholics anonymous these are some really great guys and I'm honored to call them brothers.

It’s hard because in general, unlike when we were in school, we don’t spend a lot of time with people (except perhaps for spouse, kids) who share our interests and diversions. Many people also tend to when they get in a romantic relationships, abandon longtime friends.

To make friends as an adult,it helps to get involved independently of your spouse in an activity outside your home in an activity that interests you. I made a close friend by serving on the board of the parent organization of my son’s high school. 15 years later, she is like a sister. Other close friends including some 20 years younger were people I met via community theater. Lots of time to bond during rehearsals and building sets.

Even if one has a great marriage, having at least one interest of your own and maintaining some friendships without your spouse (eg doing an occasional girls weekend or going to a game or participating in a sponrt with same gender friends) gives you more to talk about with your spouse than the same old stuff. All marriages end in death or divorce, so it is important to not do everything as a couple or else your life will be barrenn if your marriage ends. If you only hang out with other couples, you are apt to be left out by them if you no longer are with your mate.

Was I boasting? It could easily sound that way,sorry if it came out like that. I actually fear how easily I COULD rely on alcohol,so I avoid it, after a close call in my early teens. 

I definitely have flaws, hangups, problems, concerns, addictions,etc......How much time have you got?

I have no friends, at least not in 1000 miles.
I tried a meet up vegan group. I know it would be mostly women but I gave it a shot. It started with a prayer and I was expected to hold hands. I refused and it was an issue. That lasted 5 minutes...

I tried the sailing club. Took 2 guys sailing. They got so drunk. I never had drink in my life....

Then there are the trump supporters. Seems I have run into everyone...

I find that is is so hard to find capable and conscientious people. I will never understand how this whole mess keeps going.

guess I am too picky..

It is hard to make friends as an adult. Most of my oldest friends faded out of my life as they got married and started families. Most of the new people I meet in my age group already have children and thus, no time for a social life. I'm not a fan of the bar scene and there's really not much else to do around here so that limits my opportunities to meet new people. Add onto that the fact that I have 2 jobs, a house to maintain, and am reaching the point where I need to be in bed by 9:00 most nights in order to function at work. Life gets in the way the older I get and it becomes nearly impossible to schedule time to see the few friends that I still have, let alone make new ones.