|
|
Post by winter123 on Dec 18, 2017 17:17:24 GMT -5
Hi,
So just wanted to ask if anyone has any positive stories to share in terms of being in a SM but things changed/got better.
I’ve heard a lot of doom and gloom and that there is no hope but I want to remain optimistic to solve things.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 18, 2017 17:35:47 GMT -5
Once things have gotten bad enough to have you googling "sexless marriage" and arriving here, the game is pretty much up. The recovery rate is absolutely abysmal. This group is very much the arse end of the dysfunctional marriage spectrum. But, there are two members I would direct you to Time4Living2 - who has had a turn around in his deal. Bballgirl - who left her marriage but is now returning to a relationship with her former husband on a no sex (with him) basis. Their stories are worth a read. However, do the math. There are 950 members (and you are the latest Sister winter123 ) and only a couple of turnaround examples. There are however, numerous members here who got out of their dysfunctional deals and are living greatly enhanced lives. They count in the "success" column. In this regard the run of stories by Brother shamwow is one of the most detailed and insightful records on here, well worth reading from the start to finish. |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Dec 18, 2017 18:16:26 GMT -5
Once things have gotten bad enough to have you googling "sexless marriage" and arriving here, the game is pretty much up. The recovery rate is absolutely abysmal. This group is very much the arse end of the dysfunctional marriage spectrum. But, there are two members I would direct you to Time4Living2 - who has had a turn around in his deal. Bballgirl - who left her marriage but is now returning to a relationship with her former husband on a no sex with (him) basis. Their stories are worth a read. However, do the math. There are 950 members (and you are the latest Sister winter123 ) and only a couple of turnaround examples. There are however, numerous members here who got out of their dysfunctional deals and are living greatly enhanced lives. They count in the "success" column. In this regard the run of stories by Brother shamwow is one of the most detailed and insightful records on here, well worth reading from the start to finish. I may do a post on t minus tonight. Today is one year to the day from when I joined this forum. Greatly enhanced, indeed! |
|
|
|
Post by mrslowmaintenance on Dec 19, 2017 1:31:00 GMT -5
My husband has made a lot of changes.
He actually is interested in me, tells me he loves me and even wants to cuddle with me! We made a deal of sex at least every other week and he has kept to it and even wanted it more often than that at times.
After over eight years of begging for this affection you think I'd be so happy!
Unfortunately for me and him, it is just too late.
Turn around is possible! It happened too late for my emotional state, but it did happen lol
|
|
|
|
Post by elkclan2 on Dec 19, 2017 4:35:15 GMT -5
The one thing you need to know is that you can't turn it around by yourself. Without your husband coming to some understanding and concern about the pain the SM has caused you and your need to have a loving, physically affectionate relationship it cannot change.
My ex simply had no interest in addressing my needs - and not just sexually. So we could NEVER turn it around. And frankly the sex was never that good so there wasn't much to turn around.
However, I consider myself a success story because I'm mainly out of the marriage and I've found an amazing post SM lover (took me a couple of years) who is everything I could have wanted. I don't just have an amazing sex life, I have an amazing relationship.
|
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Dec 19, 2017 20:37:29 GMT -5
Once things have gotten bad enough to have you googling "sexless marriage" and arriving here, the game is pretty much up. The recovery rate is absolutely abysmal. This group is very much the arse end of the dysfunctional marriage spectrum. But, there are two members I would direct you to Time4Living2 - who has had a turn around in his deal. Bballgirl - who left her marriage but is now returning to a relationship with her former husband on a no sex (with him) basis. Their stories are worth a read. However, do the math. There are 950 members (and you are the latest Sister winter123 ) and only a couple of turnaround examples. There are however, numerous members here who got out of their dysfunctional deals and are living greatly enhanced lives. They count in the "success" column. In this regard the run of stories by Brother shamwow is one of the most detailed and insightful records on here, well worth reading from the start to finish. You are too kind baz |
|
|
|
Post by csl on Dec 20, 2017 17:18:14 GMT -5
Read my posts in this thread, as I enumerate several that I know of. |
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Dec 29, 2017 8:10:50 GMT -5
My husband has made a lot of changes. He actually is interested in me, tells me he loves me and even wants to cuddle with me! We made a deal of sex at least every other week and he has kept to it and even wanted it more often than that at times. After over eight years of begging for this affection you think I'd be so happy! Unfortunately for me and him, it is just too late. Turn around is possible! It happened too late for my emotional state, but it did happen lol I got really excited for you when I started reading this post. Then I got to the "it' just too late" part. I wish it could be otherwise for you. I think you really deserve better. Hopefully when the kids are grown you may be in the position to reach for the emotionally and sexually fulfilling life you deserve. |
|
|
|
Post by neonspace on Jan 4, 2018 18:00:17 GMT -5
My husband has made a lot of changes. He actually is interested in me, tells me he loves me and even wants to cuddle with me! We made a deal of sex at least every other week and he has kept to it and even wanted it more often than that at times. After over eight years of begging for this affection you think I'd be so happy! Unfortunately for me and him, it is just too late. Turn around is possible! It happened too late for my emotional state, but it did happen lol I find myself in the same situation and it makes me feel guilty. But feelings are feelings. It took me 25 years to get to this breaking point, I don't want to wait that long to see if I can come around. Someone here stated it perfectly. Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. I remember many many nights laying in bed awake before my wife came to bed. I'd lie there waiting and hoping to hear that magical sound. The sound of the door locking, which meant sex was going to happen. It rarely happened but I still had hope back then. Now I lay in bed dreading I will hear that sound and hoping it doesn't happen. |
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Jan 11, 2018 8:57:03 GMT -5
My husband has made a lot of changes. He actually is interested in me, tells me he loves me and even wants to cuddle with me! We made a deal of sex at least every other week and he has kept to it and even wanted it more often than that at times. After over eight years of begging for this affection you think I'd be so happy! Unfortunately for me and him, it is just too late. Turn around is possible! It happened too late for my emotional state, but it did happen lol I got really excited for you when I started reading this post. Then I got to the "it' just too late" part. I wish it could be otherwise for you. I think you really deserve better. Hopefully when the kids are grown you may be in the position to reach for the emotionally and sexually fulfilling life you deserve. Why wait? I spent a long time trying to make my situation work. My reward will be 30% of my gross income paid out to my spouse in perpetuity. I am not complaining. I can live with that. But, you are going to pursue a career as a doctor. It would be a shame if you end up paying maintenance to your husband forever because the marriage dragged on too long. |
|
