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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 17, 2017 18:45:44 GMT -5
My husband likes to tell emberassing stories about me. And they aren't even true. He twists the stories completely because they're funnier that way. And then ..... when I do have teh ability to talk to him about it. he'll make fun of me. Telling me how long time ago that was, and how I overthink it.
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Post by h on Dec 17, 2017 19:22:10 GMT -5
That is very rude. I can't imagine embarrassing my W in front of others for laughs. Even though I have been at the end of my rope and contemplating the possibility of divorce, that just seems too far. It's callous and cruel.
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Post by baza on Dec 17, 2017 19:57:14 GMT -5
Well historically, the bloke does whatever he likes whenever he likes, and this belittling behaviour in this story would actually be on the *minor* side of the bullshit he has inflicted on you over the years.
It doesn't look like this is the straw that breaks the camels back.
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 17, 2017 20:05:52 GMT -5
No it does not seem to be the last straw. I don't know why, but when he gets with this daughters, his mean streak is sooo much more open. Its like they all bring out the mean in each other. I don't like it.
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Post by M2G on Dec 19, 2017 6:04:20 GMT -5
My husband likes to tell emberassing stories about me. And they aren't even true. That's another red flag that you are (not might be) in an emotionally abusive relationship. Public shaming. That in and of itself is bad enough, but when you put it all together with everything else it starts to read like a horror movie. when I do have teh ability to talk to him about it. he'll make fun of me. Telling me how long time ago that was, and how I overthink it. You're not overthinking anything; you're calling him out on his wretched behavior and he's DARVO-ing it all back to you - the victim of his mean-spirited humor. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve the respect due to any human being and more, as his wife.
Like h, my W and I have our problems but (with the exception of our respective message boards) we keep our issues private. We never disparage each other in front of others let alone make each other the brunt of jokes. This is verbal abuse sugar-coated with humor. "Joke shaming" is probably worse that overtly shaming, because with overt shaming it's easier to refute his heinous comments. ..He's not striking me as a person anyone would want to have sex with, live with, depend upon for anything or even sit next to in public if they knew what a churl he really is inside. Probably when he meets new people his whole demeanor shifts to "nice guy" for a time - until he gets to know them, then the mask slips and the beast charges out. Sound about right? He's not going to change.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 19, 2017 8:46:20 GMT -5
Next time he tells one of his stories just respond with, "and one day you'll be served divorce papers - surprise!!" Then laugh and walk away!
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Post by hopingforachange on Dec 19, 2017 8:59:05 GMT -5
Next time he tells one of his stories just respond with, "and one day you'll be served divorce papers - surprise!!" Then laugh and walk away! Or "why don't you tell them about how you had to tape it to a popsicle stick just to get it up."
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 19, 2017 9:15:19 GMT -5
Next time he tells one of his stories just respond with, "and one day you'll be served divorce papers - surprise!!" Then laugh and walk away! Or "why don't you tell them about how you had to tape it to a popsicle stick just to get it up." That's great!! Yeah you can lead with "yeah we all have our embarrassing moments like the time..." Go with the Popsicle stick - so funny!
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Post by hopingforachange on Dec 19, 2017 11:00:48 GMT -5
Or "why don't you tell them about how you had to tape it to a popsicle stick just to get it up." That's great!! Yeah you can lead with "yeah we all have our embarrassing moments like the time..." Go with the Popsicle stick - so funny! You have to be ready for a come back from him, I suspect he will insult your looks, so maybe hot right back with something like, I'm hot enough for your mistress to bring an extra pair of panties when she comes over.
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Post by Caris on Dec 19, 2017 14:58:29 GMT -5
Rose, what is it that keeps you with this abusive man, who humiliates you, rejects you as a woman, and has no respect for you? What is the reason or reasons?
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Post by idgaf96 on Dec 19, 2017 15:41:54 GMT -5
Omg. This is the worst. My husband does that crap to me and I do follow up with 7 years. I can do this. Then he gets mad and asks why I have to be a bitch.... seriously you can be an ass but I can't be a bitch. .. Grrrrrr. Why can't our spouses just be nice....
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 19, 2017 16:25:51 GMT -5
Its funny, lately I've been talking a bit lately about his upcoming death, whenever that is. I asked him what kind of funeral he wants when he dies, etc. It threw him off guard. I won't lie. I feel lazy. It would just be easier if he died lolz.
but no, I stay because of the kids. I lterally can NOT live with 3 kids with autism, keep them safe, etc all by myself. Most of teh single mothers of autistic children that I know of, only have one with autism. Not three.
Trust me, its difficult.
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Post by Caris on Dec 19, 2017 21:36:37 GMT -5
Its funny, lately I've been talking a bit lately about his upcoming death, whenever that is. I asked him what kind of funeral he wants when he dies, etc. It threw him off guard. I won't lie. I feel lazy. It would just be easier if he died lolz. but no, I stay because of the kids. I lterally can NOT live with 3 kids with autism, keep them safe, etc all by myself. Most of teh single mothers of autistic children that I know of, only have one with autism. Not three. Trust me, its difficult. I do understand your plight. I hope to God you have the strength to carry on because that is one toxic situation you are in. Hugs.
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Post by takestwototango on Dec 19, 2017 22:53:06 GMT -5
This reminds me of a time my h and I were out walking on some rocks by a lake. I slipped and fell hard on my rear and couldn't get up. I wish there had been more people around, because all he did, for several minutes, was just stand there laughing at me. I'm sure someone would have thought he was an asshole. I was so pissed. He still laughs about it!
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 19, 2017 23:04:49 GMT -5
"I'm sure someone would have thought he was an asshole. I was so pissed. He still laughs about it!"
What happened wasn't funny. And he is an asshole.
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