How the Story You Tell About Yourself Affects Your Life
Oct 25, 2017 13:59:36 GMT -5
DryCreek, jim44444, and 2 more like this
Post by WindSister on Oct 25, 2017 13:59:36 GMT -5
ideas.ted.com/the-two-kinds-of-stories-we-tell-about-ourselves/?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_content=ideas-blog&utm_term=humanities
I find this fascinating and it's something that just feels as truth to me as I witness my own life along with the stories I tell of it and as I witness others' lives and the stories they tell of their lives. Some Snippets:
So what kind of story are you telling about your life? I tend to lean positive. My brother had a horrible childhood, I had a happy one. We experienced the same things (there was no abuse, by the way, so I still question why my brother has a stick up his butt over it all). Who is happier today? I am. He is so negative, I can hardly stand to be around him, honestly.
I don't know -- just leaving this here as food for thought. We make up our own realities. We really do.
I find this fascinating and it's something that just feels as truth to me as I witness my own life along with the stories I tell of it and as I witness others' lives and the stories they tell of their lives. Some Snippets:
An individual’s life story is not an exhaustive history of everything that has happened. Rather, we make what McAdams calls “narrative choices.” Our stories tend to focus on the most extraordinary events, good and bad, because those are the experiences we need to make sense of and that shape us. But our interpretations may differ. For one person, for example, a childhood experience like learning how to swim by being thrown into the water by a parent might explain his sense of himself today as a hardy entrepreneur who learns by taking risks. For another, that experience might explain why he hates boats and does not trust authority figures. A third might leave the experience out of his story altogether, deeming it unimportant.
People who are driven to contribute to society and to future generations, he found, are more likely to tell redemptive stories about their lives, or stories that transition from bad to good.
The opposite of a redemptive story is what McAdams calls a “contamination story,” in which people interpret their lives as going from good to bad.
Redemption and contamination stories are just two kinds of tales we spin. McAdams has found that beyond stories of redemption, people who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion and agency. These stories allow individuals to craft a positive identity: they are in control of their lives, they are loved, they are progressing through life and whatever obstacles they have encountered have been redeemed by good outcomes.
So what kind of story are you telling about your life? I tend to lean positive. My brother had a horrible childhood, I had a happy one. We experienced the same things (there was no abuse, by the way, so I still question why my brother has a stick up his butt over it all). Who is happier today? I am. He is so negative, I can hardly stand to be around him, honestly.
I don't know -- just leaving this here as food for thought. We make up our own realities. We really do.
