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Post by tirefire on Oct 12, 2017 15:25:28 GMT -5
For whatever reason, I am finding it hard to get myself to call a lawyer. Maybe it is just making it too real. Anyway, I finally made an appt, took vacation from work to get there, sat down with the lawyer. Yay!
The first thing the lawyer said was "Oh oh. I think I did business with your refuser in the past". She may not have said refuser, it is hard to remember the exact words. 😉 Turns out I need a new lawyer because she represented my W for some contract law. Arghhhh.
New appt with new lawyer next week.
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Post by h on Oct 12, 2017 15:28:00 GMT -5
That does suck. The lawyer couldn't have figured that out before you burned a vacation day?
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Post by tirefire on Oct 12, 2017 16:02:12 GMT -5
That does suck. The lawyer couldn't have figured that out before you burned a vacation day? Funny, the first thing the new lawyer did was verify that there was no conflict before making an appt. In the long run, it won't make any difference. As my buddy used to say, "In the long run, we are all dead." |
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Post by dinnaken on Oct 12, 2017 17:19:50 GMT -5
Don't be disheartened
Seeing the lawyer doesn't commit you to a course of action it just makes any decision you make a better informed one.
Good luck
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:11:17 GMT -5
I once saw an episode of the Sopranos where Tony visited every top lawyer in his city in an attempt to derail any future divorce proceedings from his wife. Are you sure your refuser hasn't seen the writing on the wall and done the same to you. lol  |
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Post by tirefire on Oct 12, 2017 19:35:55 GMT -5
Yah, when the second lawyer was looking up W's name, it flashed through my mind how embarrassing if she beat me to it.
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Post by baza on Oct 13, 2017 0:45:44 GMT -5
Quoting you here Brother tirefire - "For whatever reason, I am finding it hard to get myself to call a lawyer. Maybe it is just making it too real" Back in the day of me being a professional *why chaser*, I had the same reticence to go see a lawyer. On one hand I did not want to know my if situation was hopelessly financially punitive (in which case I would be stuck forever, and I didn't want to hear that). On the other hand I did not want to know that it was possible to get out either (because that would have made it incumbent on me to get on with getting out). So I chose to keep *why chasing* and to remain ignorant of the legal facts. For years. It was not one of the smarter choices I ever made. All it got me was older. I eventually got the info (that it was a viable proposition) and started putting together an exit strategy (this was in about 2006) but I didn't act on it until October 2009. |
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Post by tirefire on Oct 13, 2017 4:58:30 GMT -5
"All it got me was older." Thank you, baza. A clear message. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 13, 2017 8:25:52 GMT -5
I found that my free consult with the lawyer gave me a sense of freedom that I had not expected. JUST keeping the info in my back pocket for a little while, I already had so many new thoughts of "it CAN be done" - now, whether I wanted to was still under debate for a time. How I would go about deciding and then informing him would take a little longer too.
You need not ACT on what you find out. In fact, after the lawyer I kept up on individual therapy and I'd suggest if you don't have a therapist/counselor, it would be good to find one.
Congrats on making the move to MAKE the call, keep the first appt (that lawyer is an idiot btw - this discovery about conflict of interest should have been investigated on the phone), and making the call to get the next appointment. Whatever we do to inform ourselves is still a brave action of self-advocacy - something we get used to NOT doing in our SM.
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Bum luck
Oct 13, 2017 8:29:18 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by shamwow on Oct 13, 2017 8:29:18 GMT -5
For whatever reason, I am finding it hard to get myself to call a lawyer. Maybe it is just making it too real. Anyway, I finally made an appt, took vacation from work to get there, sat down with the lawyer. Yay! The first thing the lawyer said was "Oh oh. I think I did business with your refuser in the past". She may not have said refuser, it is hard to remember the exact words. 😉 Turns out I need a new lawyer because she represented my W for some contract law. Arghhhh. New appt with new lawyer next week. First 2 times I called a lawyer I hung up as soon as they answered. Like you said, way too real. If you want my divorce check list / cheat sheet pm me an email. I've got to get a copy of it to someone else here this weekend and I'll get you a copy too. |
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Bum luck
Oct 13, 2017 8:53:59 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by shamwow on Oct 13, 2017 8:53:59 GMT -5
That does suck. The lawyer couldn't have figured that out before you burned a vacation day? Funny, the first thing the new lawyer did was verify that there was no conflict before making an appt. In the long run, it won't make any difference. As my buddy used to say, "In the long run, we are all dead." You were friends with John Maynard Keynes? |
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Bum luck
Oct 13, 2017 15:29:22 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by tirefire on Oct 13, 2017 15:29:22 GMT -5
"You were friends with John Maynard Keynes?"
Ha! Didn't realise he was quoting Keynes! Still a good way to see things. Especially in an SM.
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