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Post by wanderlust on Oct 12, 2017 9:26:32 GMT -5
I found this video of Dr. Douglas Weiss describing 7 different types of sexless marriage
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Post by eternaloptimism on Oct 12, 2017 12:21:58 GMT -5
I found this video of Dr. Douglas Weiss describing 7 different types of sexless marriage This is quite interesting, and better than a lot I have seen/read. He missed the vital ingredient of fixing an SM though didn’t he. You know, the bit where BOTH parties need to be invested in improvement. Sadly, whatever the initial cause, thats why us refused people end up here in a personal hell.  |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 12, 2017 14:07:35 GMT -5
I found this video of Dr. Douglas Weiss describing 7 different types of sexless marriage This is quite interesting, and better than a lot I have seen/read. He missed the vital ingredient of fixing an SM though didn’t he. You know, the bit where BOTH parties need to be invested in improvement. Sadly, whatever the initial cause, thats why us refused people end up here in a personal hell. Great observation. Maybe he didn't address fixing a SM because it can't be fixed. One can't make someone want to have sex with them. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 12, 2017 19:59:24 GMT -5
I love the beginning, "this is not about you, this would have happened to anybody, no matter who they are with. It's not your height, your weight, your looks, the amount of money you make".
Isn't that refreshing!! Not used to hearing that!
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 12, 2017 20:13:05 GMT -5
I found this video of Dr. Douglas Weiss describing 7 different types of sexless marriage This is quite interesting, and better than a lot I have seen/read. He missed the vital ingredient of fixing an SM though didn’t he. You know, the bit where BOTH parties need to be invested in improvement. Sadly, whatever the initial cause, thats why us refused people end up here in a personal hell. Seems he also missed the part about "ILIASM but the rest of our relationship is great!" This is proven false on here time and time again. In his first example he lists many traits of narcissism. That's not something -with 20 yrs of SM added into it - you just fix with lots of hard work. |
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Post by solodriver on Oct 14, 2017 4:27:20 GMT -5
I only know of one type, the one with NO SEX in it!
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Post by lwoetin on Oct 14, 2017 5:41:04 GMT -5
This is quite interesting, and better than a lot I have seen/read. He missed the vital ingredient of fixing an SM though didn’t he. You know, the bit where BOTH parties need to be invested in improvement. Sadly, whatever the initial cause, thats why us refused people end up here in a personal hell. Great observation. Maybe he didn't address fixing a SM because it can't be fixed. One can't make someone want to have sex with them. he doesn't address it on video because he wants clients. He says he's fixed marriages with sexual problems that's suffered for days, weeks, months, years, decades and lifetime. After a few sessions with him, your spouse will be fixed and you will be mating on the floor of his office. It's a good list of the why's of SM. |
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Post by M2G on Nov 4, 2017 8:22:26 GMT -5
I'm a lurker on another board: myPTSD.com - lots of refusers there, seeking help for the trauma(s) that caused their aversion to intimate contact. Very unlike this board, where all refusers seem to be lumped into a single category. It's heartbreaking, the conditions they suffer.
All I can really offer there, from the point of view of the refused, is to encourage them to involve their partner in their struggle to get better, lest the partner become, well - like many of us here: feeling damaged and worthless and unlovable.
Sometimes the answer comes back that they fear, if their partner finds out what happened to them, the partner may leave them. I can't read too much over there though, it truly burns my heart.
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Post by hopingforachange on Nov 4, 2017 8:49:42 GMT -5
I'm a lurker on another board: myPTSD.com - lots of refusers there, seeking help for the trauma(s) that caused their aversion to intimate contact. Very unlike this board, where all refusers seem to be lumped into a single category. It's heartbreaking, the conditions they suffer. All I can really offer there, from the point of view of the refused, is to encourage them to involve their partner in their struggle to get better, lest the partner become, well - like many of us here: feeling damaged and worthless and unlovable. Sometimes the answer comes back that they fear, if their partner finds out what happened to them, the partner may leave them. I can't read too much over there though, it truly burns my heart. I think the difference is, most of the refusers here don't want to confront or fix thier shit. So in a way the are all lumped together do to thier inaction. I have been with someone that experienced severe trama and she worked thru to almost every day so that her trama didn't define her and she wanted to be open and intimate with someone. The W on the other hand, she had not had any trama and while she claims to be working to be more open and experience more intimacy, I don't see her actively dealing with her shit. |
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Post by M2G on Nov 4, 2017 9:26:05 GMT -5
Yeah hopingforchange - I think you hit that dead on.
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