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Post by shamwow on Oct 24, 2017 12:57:24 GMT -5
And extremely well hung as well. Giving you my sexting cell phone number was the best decision I ever made. Well, I am straight. I never had a gay thought in my life, but, who could say no to a man of that caliber? He is the most interesting man in the world, after all...I can just hear the TV voice: "He has given gay thoughts to those who have never had them in their lives"
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Post by Apocrypha on Oct 24, 2017 13:42:29 GMT -5
I dont even bother touching myself anymore, thinking I should just accept this is my life now. Keep telling myself sex is for other people, not for me. If I keep wanting it, it will just destroy me. But this is making me die inside as well. We struggle around the topic of fighting vs accepting on this board a lot. I found it helpful to reframe the discussion to an adjacent and overlapping topic. You are starting by saying you should just accept this way of life. Have you thought about starting upstream from your way of life, and instead focusing on accepting the premise, and then letting your way of life naturally evolve from that? The premise is that you are invested in a relationship with a person who does not see you in a way that includes a unique sexual attraction. You might be an attractive person, but for his reasons, he does not wish to fuck you. He's not indifferent about this feeling. He clearly doesn't want to include that in his relationship with you. That's the premise. Starting there, you can decide what that means to you and to the nature of your relationship format and expectations. How is what you have different from, say, an amicable ex-spouse? If you accepted the premise that you live with a person who holds no sexual interest in you, rather than someone who is careless or unkind to you, then you might make different choices, or at least feel more agency in the choices you make - to stay or go. Your "way of life" would flow from that premise.
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Post by snowman12345 on Oct 24, 2017 17:36:57 GMT -5
Well, I am straight. I never had a gay thought in my life, but, who could say no to a man of that caliber? He is the most interesting man in the world, after all...I can just hear the TV voice: "He has given gay thoughts to those who have never had them in their lives" My ruck sack needs... adjusting.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 25, 2017 13:23:16 GMT -5
He is the most interesting man in the world, after all...I can just hear the TV voice: "He has given gay thoughts to those who have never had them in their lives" My ruck sack needs... adjusting. Well turn around and let me give it a big heft.
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sarah
New Member
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Post by sarah on Oct 26, 2017 16:30:49 GMT -5
Apocrypha - it is like being with an ex spouse. It is amicable. I read someone describing it on this forum as roommates. That’s what we are. He will make me a cup of tea, do household chores, be a good father but that’s it. We go to our separate rooms every evening. He treats me well, and is kind, generous and supportive. It makes it harder to leave as I am not being treated badly. But then I am being treated badly because he ignores my desires and needs.
He is now saying I refused sex because when he offered it, I said what’s the point anymore? And that I have given up.
I didn’t even bother to argue with him
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Post by shamwow on Oct 26, 2017 16:33:05 GMT -5
Apocrypha - it is like being with an ex spouse. It is amicable. I read someone describing it on this forum as roommates. That’s what we are. He will make me a cup of tea, do household chores, be a good father but that’s it. We go to our separate rooms every evening. He treats me well, and is kind, generous and supportive. It makes it harder to leave as I am not being treated badly. But then I am being treated badly because he ignores my desires and needs. He is now saying I refused sex because when he offered it, I said what’s the point anymore? And that I have given up. I didn’t even bother to argue with him The day you moved into separate rooms is the day the marriage died and your relationship status (quite literally) changed to roommates.
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Post by M2G on Oct 27, 2017 4:42:27 GMT -5
Apocrypha - it is like being with an ex spouse. It is amicable. I read someone describing it on this forum as roommates. That’s what we are. He will make me a cup of tea, do household chores, be a good father but that’s it. We go to our separate rooms every evening. He treats me well, and is kind, generous and supportive. It makes it harder to leave as I am not being treated badly. But then I am being treated badly because he ignores my desires and needs. He is now saying I refused sex because when he offered it, I said what’s the point anymore? And that I have given up. I didn’t even bother to argue with him The day you moved into separate rooms is the day the marriage died and your relationship status (quite literally) changed to roommates. Yeah, just posted something similar on another thread. Roommates, best friends, not lovers. Haven't moved out of the bedroom but we use it in shifts. Me 11PM-5AM, for her 3AM-10AM.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 27, 2017 5:50:46 GMT -5
The day you moved into separate rooms is the day the marriage died and your relationship status (quite literally) changed to roommates. Yeah, just posted something similar on another thread. Roommates, best friends, not lovers. Haven't moved out of the bedroom but we use it in shifts. Me 11PM-5AM, for her 3AM-10AM. Wow that is a new one for me. You hot cot the bedroom? I actually think that may be worse. At least different rooms broadcasts the truth straight up. Just curious, how did that arrangement arise? Is it to keep appearances for others? Family and friends? Hell of a way to live, ain't it?
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Post by M2G on Oct 27, 2017 10:44:10 GMT -5
It’s her time to write and drink beer. In the AM, 'specially on weekends, lots of time for me to do as I please. Neither of us really care about appearances. It just kinda worked out, the way it worked out since about 1997.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 28, 2017 19:26:15 GMT -5
Yeah, just posted something similar on another thread. Roommates, best friends, not lovers. Haven't moved out of the bedroom but we use it in shifts. Me 11PM-5AM, for her 3AM-10AM. Wow that is a new one for me. You hot cot the bedroom? I actually think that may be worse. At least different rooms broadcasts the truth straight up. Just curious, how did that arrangement arise? Is it to keep appearances for others? Family and friends? Hell of a way to live, ain't it? I'm not too far off this concept. We're about 3 hours out of phase. I've got a job to get up for, which means bedtime. Meanwhile, she's "retired", and watching TV is apparently more appealing.
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Post by brian on Oct 28, 2017 20:26:47 GMT -5
Wow that is a new one for me. You hot cot the bedroom? I actually think that may be worse. At least different rooms broadcasts the truth straight up. Just curious, how did that arrangement arise? Is it to keep appearances for others? Family and friends? Hell of a way to live, ain't it? I'm not too far off this concept. We're about 3 hours out of phase. I've got a job to get up for, which means bedtime. Meanwhile, she's "retired", and watching TV is apparently more appealing. We could probably come close as well... I go to bed at 10:30, she watches shows on her iPad until 1:00 or 2:00am, and I get up at 5:30.
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Post by M2G on Oct 28, 2017 22:16:07 GMT -5
We're all just a little fucked it seems. I am enjoying the company, at the same time I recognize how bizarre it is.
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Post by workingonit on Oct 28, 2017 23:46:37 GMT -5
We're all just a little fucked it seems. I am enjoying the company, at the same time I recognize how bizarre it is. Sometimes it is comforting and inspiring to share in everyone's stories. Sometimes it is just fucking depressing to know you are all suffering just like me. ILIASM shithole indeed.
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sarah
New Member
Posts: 14
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Post by sarah on Oct 29, 2017 6:52:12 GMT -5
Sometimes I am managing ok then something sets me off. The other day it was seeing durex in the supermarket that said ‘lovesex’.
I thought I love sex then I felt miserable and depressed, I couldn’t leave fast enough.
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Post by M2G on Oct 29, 2017 8:43:47 GMT -5
Sometimes I am managing ok then something sets me off. The other day it was seeing durex in the supermarket that said ‘lovesex’. I thought I love sex then I felt miserable and depressed, I couldn’t leave fast enough. Yeah, sorry to hear that. Emotional triggers like that can hit you out of nowhere and knock you flat on your ass. Still dealing with a lot of those myself. Sometimes it helps to say: "get out of my head!" Out loud works best but in the presence of others I usually don't vocalize lest the men in white coats come to take me away.. ..Ha Ha.
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