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Post by tirefire on Sept 23, 2017 8:04:47 GMT -5
If only it was as easy as a diagnosis. Oh boy. And I think they're numbers are fudged up a bit. Men's libidos aren't THAT much higher than a womans. ' It is funny how our perspective influences things. I read that and thought it is more like 50% of women with LL. 😉 And conversely, I just can't wrap my head around how a man can't be driven to have sex every day. We are in the same corner, darktippedrose. |
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Post by wanderlust on Sept 23, 2017 10:15:40 GMT -5
They're not touching on the incurable problems. Women, mostly hormonal, and men, prior performance issues. If you have a diagnosis, you probably have a treatment. First time poster here.. I suspect that many in the "therapy" business are there because they have unresolved issues themselves and entered the career for self help reasons. Some are more messed up than the people they are trying to help. They can do more harm than good. At least this mainstream article is a conversation starter.. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 23, 2017 19:09:35 GMT -5
tirefire I still think that is fudged too. Not all refusers have a low libido. I haven always thought about sex, and yet I have experienced certain years with much lower libido or being in a funk after my kids were diagnosed with autism. But I still thought about it. right now, as my husband touches anyone but me, he doesn't have a low libido, but he's still a refuser. Too many therapists think that low Testosterone is the ONLY reason why a man can be a refuser. I call complete bs.
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Post by tirefire on Sept 23, 2017 22:18:26 GMT -5
tirefire I still think that is fudged too. Not all refusers have a low libido. I haven always thought about sex, and yet I have experienced certain years with much lower libido or being in a funk after my kids were diagnosed with autism. But I still thought about it. right now, as my husband touches anyone but me, he doesn't have a low libido, but he's still a refuser. Too many therapists think that low Testosterone is the ONLY reason why a man can be a refuser. I call complete bs. Good points. I see what you are saying. |
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Post by brian on Sept 24, 2017 8:47:10 GMT -5
My roomie read this article... mentioned that it came from a reputable source instead of "those porn sites" that I have sent links to her in the past. Just for reference, I have only sent her 3 links in the past, one for the "Love Languages" test (that she won't take), one to a recent Kinsey Report on sexuality (recent meaning a few years ago), and one to an old post by baza on the old EP forum... those are a far cry from porn sites, but that's not the point of my post.
Although she keyed on all the things that I have to do, she did embrace the "just do it" statement. So we had sex... moderaltely good sex, Thursday night. She wouldn't allow herself an orgasm, and that's something she recognized as something she needs to work on. Progess, I suppose, but it's still a far cry from "better". I almost feel a little guilty though, because I nearly had sex with another woman earlier that evening. We just couldn't make the timing work. That encounter would have probably resulted in the first orgasm I have had with another person in over a decade. Roomie ended the encounter long before either of us reached release.
Now, will roomie follow up with more, or was that he attempt for the remainder of 2017? I suppose time will tell. In the meantime, I will try to engineer another outsourcing arrangement.
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 24, 2017 14:29:43 GMT -5
brian - I feel for you. Its like being offered sex with no kissing not being allowed an orgasm. its like cake with no icing. whats the point? grrrrrrrr
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