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Post by wewbwb on Sept 21, 2017 15:47:59 GMT -5
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 21, 2017 16:45:03 GMT -5
They're not touching on the incurable problems. Women, mostly hormonal, and men, prior performance issues. If you have a diagnosis, you probably have a treatment.
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 22, 2017 0:09:37 GMT -5
If only it was as easy as a diagnosis. Oh boy. And I think they're numbers are fudged up a bit. Men's libidos aren't THAT much higher than a womans.
'
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Post by baza on Sept 22, 2017 1:07:06 GMT -5
It is interesting (if these figures are to be believed) that out in the *general run* of marriages, 15% of men and 34% of women aren't interested in sex.
Compare that with our group - of ILIASM shitholes - where practically all the refusive spouses have no interest in sex with their spouses.
I guess the good news - in the context of *general* marriages - is that 85% of men and 66% of women ARE interested in sex.
So if you can get shot of your ILIASM shithole deal where your spouse has no interest in sex, you are some chance of finding a partner who IS interested in sex.
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Post by dinnaken on Sept 22, 2017 1:19:45 GMT -5
So, to add insult to injury, in our anguish we are now going to find ourselves 'on trend'. Lots of pundits giving us their two-penneth, heaven help us :-)
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 22, 2017 6:23:59 GMT -5
Just another crock of shit written by a clueless moron.
"Remember, if you're interested in sex and your partner is not, think of your interest as a precious resource. Without it, without your motivation to have sex, it's easy to get stuck in a rut. So don't give up -- just refocus your efforts."
Unless I have misinterpreted his words and "refocus your efforts" means "get the fuck out".
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Post by brian on Sept 22, 2017 7:22:55 GMT -5
Just another crock of shit written by a clueless moron. " Remember, if you're interested in sex and your partner is not, think of your interest as a precious resource. Without it, without your motivation to have sex, it's easy to get stuck in a rut. So don't give up -- just refocus your efforts." Unless I have misinterpreted his words and "refocus your efforts" means "get the fuck out". Put anotger way... Refocus your efforts on another partner Which can be done in several different ways |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 22, 2017 7:35:06 GMT -5
Absolutely, a crock of shit, Jim, as far as our situations go.
"It can help to schedule weekly sex," he said. "Knowing that sex will occur may help the low-desire partner to turn themselves on in preparation, like they probably did when they were dating...
My W would never accept a schedule. She would never accept any incentive or disincentive. If she was turned on when she was dating, it was only because she knew it was something she needed to do. Get dressed, go to the bank, go to the store, do something sexual, done. The only thing that turns her on is when she thinks the gravy train is over if she doesn't perform.
I'm not this guy's intended audience.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 22, 2017 9:03:02 GMT -5
Absolutely, a crock of shit, Jim, as far as our situations go. "It can help to schedule weekly sex," he said. "Knowing that sex will occur may help the low-desire partner to turn themselves on in preparation, like they probably did when they were dating... My W would never accept a schedule. She would never accept any incentive or disincentive. If she was turned on when she was dating, it was only because she knew it was something she needed to do. Get dressed, go to the bank, go to the store, do something sexual, done. The only thing that turns her on is when she thinks the gravy train is over if she doesn't perform. I'm not this guy's intended audience. I am not sure who his intended audience is, maybe other pseudo-counselors? Another but of worthless drivel from the article - "gynecologist and sex counselor Terri Vanderlinde said. "During that time, I have them do something fun and intimate, like playing a game or reading a book together." Fun and intimate, like "reading a book together"? SMFH! Something tells me Terri Vanderline is a low libido partner. |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 22, 2017 9:14:45 GMT -5
ROFL. Right. Fun and intimate to me would be something like naked shower twister.
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 22, 2017 9:20:19 GMT -5
Absolutely, a crock of shit, Jim, as far as our situations go. "It can help to schedule weekly sex," he said. "Knowing that sex will occur may help the low-desire partner to turn themselves on in preparation, like they probably did when they were dating... My W would never accept a schedule. She would never accept any incentive or disincentive. If she was turned on when she was dating, it was only because she knew it was something she needed to do. Get dressed, go to the bank, go to the store, do something sexual, done. The only thing that turns her on is when she thinks the gravy train is over if she doesn't perform. I'm not this guy's intended audience. I am not sure who his intended audience is, maybe other pseudo-counselors? Another but of worthless drivel from the article - "gynecologist and sex counselor Terri Vanderlinde said. "During that time, I have them do something fun and intimate, like playing a game or reading a book together." Fun and intimate, like "reading a book together"? SMFH! Something tells me Terri Vanderline is a low libido partner. Maybe it's a BDSM for dummies book? |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 22, 2017 9:29:02 GMT -5
Well, my bet is that in most of our cases BDSM for Dummies, Kama Sutra for Dummies, Lime Jello Fantasies Highlights, or even The Decade's Best Sex Tips of Cosmopolitan Magazine is not going to get our partner's interest.
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 22, 2017 14:04:24 GMT -5
I'd take BDSM for dummmies but my husband hates BDSM and does NOT understand it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2017 16:47:36 GMT -5
Just another crock of shit written by a clueless moron. " Remember, if you're interested in sex and your partner is not, think of your interest as a precious resource. Without it, without your motivation to have sex, it's easy to get stuck in a rut. So don't give up -- just refocus your efforts." Unless I have misinterpreted his words and "refocus your efforts" means "get the fuck out". The big thing the author left out of the article: None of those ideas will help, unless BOTH partners are willing to try them. On more than one occasion. Without a lot of delays and excuses. |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 22, 2017 17:22:08 GMT -5
Just another crock of shit written by a clueless moron. " Remember, if you're interested in sex and your partner is not, think of your interest as a precious resource. Without it, without your motivation to have sex, it's easy to get stuck in a rut. So don't give up -- just refocus your efforts." Unless I have misinterpreted his words and "refocus your efforts" means "get the fuck out". The big thing the author left out of the article: None of those ideas will help, unless BOTH partners are willing to try them. On more than one occasion. Without a lot of delays and excuses. That is the absolute truth Kat. All of the ideas have merit but they necessitate mutual acceptance and cooperation. The scheduled sex could be fun if both partners want it. If it is just duty sex then it becomes scheduled disappointment. The massage can be great fun unless the HL partner knows it will always only be a massage then it is just a business deal. I know some have turned their SM around and I know some people have hit the lottery. I think the odds are about the same. We need an update from timeforliving2 on how his new deal is working. |
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