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Post by McRoomMate on Aug 31, 2017 1:55:35 GMT -5
Extremely interesting lecture by Dr. Fischer (TED Talks) who did research on people "madly in love" with help of Neuroscientists and MRI brain scans.
Results: Falling In Love is not just an "emotion" but a "Drive" that emerges from the "Brain Motor" and is more powerful than heroine or cocaine in terms of craving and intensity.
Only 20 minutes or so - perhaps worth the watching.
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Post by WindSister on Aug 31, 2017 9:02:50 GMT -5
"We are not an animal that was built to be happy, we are an animal that was built to reproduce." That statement is why I really question how humans are evolving - how the gay population is expanding, and I think not just because it's "safer" to come out but because more and more people are born gay. I know some have very deep opinions about this but for me, personally knowing people who are gay, I feel pretty confident saying - they were made that way. Are we evolving to NOT reproduce for a bit now? Overpopulation, etc. Do we NEED marriage, sex, each other??? The stats on young adults NOT engaging in sex with each other is freaky to me and I am not sure "technology" is the only thing at fault there. "The happiness we find, we make and we can make good relationships with each other." To me, this is beautiful because if we choose to stay together, choose to love, even without "reproducing" or having that old biological tick driving us, it takes on more meaning. Like being a good person just to be a good person, not because you are being judged by a man in the sky. This was filmed in 2006 - that is forever ago as far as research, movements, data, etc. The anti-depressant talk I am aligned with her, 100%. This one is 30 minutes (I listen to stuff while I do menial tasks at work). She gets into the four types - we used her personality test in our company and my husband has used it as well in his, to learn about co-workers, how people operate, how we can get along, work together. The four types she describes are Director, Negotiator, Builder, Explorer. I am Negotiator/Explorer and my husband is pretty equal in all four quadrants but ever so slightly higher in negotiator. I call him my divergent.. lol. I think in part, though, it's why he and I work so well together. Last night was one of those amazing nights for us again (and I don't just mean sexual) where I feel even closer to him. It's hard to describe. But it's real. Anyway... www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/Article_%20We%20Have%20Chemistry.pdf -----> Article of the Four Primary temperment dimensions. And, her personality quiz ------> theanatomyoflove.com/relationship-quizzes/helen-fishers-personality-test/Sorry for adding more -- this is all fascinating to me (I am a closet brain/human behavior geek) and I do like Helen Fisher.  |
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Post by WindSister on Aug 31, 2017 9:10:47 GMT -5
I took the personality quiz again - yup, consistent. Your score on the Explorer scale is 37 out of a possible 42, or 88%. Your score on the Builder scale is 16 out of a possible 42, or 38%. Your score on the Director scale is 12 out of a possible 42, or 29%. Your score on the Negotiator scale is 39 out of a possible 42, or 93%. Your Primary personality Type is Negotiator. (But Explorer is super close!) NEGOTIATORS are philosophers. These women (and men) express traits linked with the estrogen system in the brain. These people see the big picture. They are imaginative and intuitive. They have superb language and people skills. They are also emotionally expressive, as well as agreeable, trusting and compassionate. Negotiators seek someone with whom they can make an intensely intimate, deeply meaningful, inspiring and spiritual connection. But Negotiators, like Directors, prefer to go out with one person at a time and to explore the depths of this potential partnership. They dislike wasting time on irrelevant, trivial or boring socializing. When they find “The One,” Negotiators are superb at generating and maintaining intimacy with this partner. They avoid conflicts with a mate, and make major personal adjustments to strengthen this cherished bond. They give thoughtful gifts, such as a treasured book or photograph. They share their most personal feelings. And they want their partner to share his or her feelings too. EXPLORERS are curious, creative, adventurous, sexual, impulsive and self-reliant. They are also known for high energy, novelty, risk and pleasure seeking ways, and not being easily swayed by opinion. Explorers live a rich and varied life because they’re such energetic, even restless people who regard time in a different way than most others. They move fast. Their natural curiosity draws them to all kinds of different situations where they can come up with new ideas, practice their theories and generate new thoughts. Shifting their attention from one problem to another is not a problem for them, they are always looking for more thrills and excitement in their lives. Their adventurous streak sometimes makes them take unnecessary risks, leaving them prone to breaking the law more often than other types would. But with a little help from the people around them, they can also make excellent scientists and athletes – they certainly have the hunger and devotion that these jobs need. Explorers are very likable people with generous minds and happy attitudes to life and people around them. They have a playful nature, they can be sensual and enjoy life to the point of being hedonistic. At the same time, they are unpredictable and hard to rely upon, which does not make them good marriage material. They are not prone to routine and don’t tolerate boredom very well. Their impatience can make them selfish companions as they don’t generally bend themselves to anyone’s rules. digitalcitizen.ca/y/ ---> good descriptions of all the types. Negotiators are often attracted to their opposite, Directors. ------> my husband I talked about this, and agree, it's a much happier love to love another negotiator. My negotatiating side makes me good marriage material because more than anything, I crave intimacy and connection with ONE person - my husband. And, loyalty is super important to both my husband and I. Plus, being divergent, (lol) he definitely has some of the director traits, so it all works.
Anyway, this stuff always fascinates me. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Aug 31, 2017 9:33:43 GMT -5
Interesting, I got,
Your score on the Explorer scale is 33 out of a possible 42, or 79%.
Your score on the Builder scale is 23 out of a possible 42, or 55%.
Your score on the Director scale is 34 out of a possible 42, or 81%.
Your score on the Negotiator scale is 29 out of a possible 42, or 69%.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2017 12:13:07 GMT -5
I'm a Negotiator/Explorer too. The description sounds like me. Maybe I should look for a Director man - except I would bet money that men with that personality type usually refuse to do personality tests, ha ha!
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 31, 2017 13:23:48 GMT -5
I was Builder/Explorer. Very interesting.
I was in the 50 and 60 percentages in all types.
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Post by hopingforachange on Aug 31, 2017 13:36:59 GMT -5
@smartkat Look up.
Like most of the personality test, I don't have a really strong area. I tend to be centered between the personality types. Some define me as a hub, center, neutral, ect because I will drift in between them to fit my environment.
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Post by WindSister on Aug 31, 2017 13:57:34 GMT -5
Explorer (Dopamine) – Creative, curious, adventurous, impulsive, and independent – Explorers are the risk-takers of the personality wheel. Dominated by dopamine, the neurotransmitter that controls rewards and pleasures, Explorers have a high energy level and a profound need for novelty, excitement, and stimulation. According to Fisher, Explorers represent 26 percent of all people. When it comes to love, Explorers are a good match for other Explorers – they need someone who in on the same level of energy and spontaneity.
Builder (Serotonin) – Builders are dominated by serotonin, a neurotransmitter that is associated with sociability and serenity. Calm, cooperative, cautious, and consistent, they make loyal friends and are quite attached to home and family. Builders make up 28.6 percent of the population. They have low levels of anxiety and a high regard for tradition, making them solid citizens who take care of their community and protect its values. Like Explorers, Builders pair best with their own type – other Builders – for romance. Because they value security and commitment, marriages between two builders have a great chance of success.
Director (Testosterone) – Fueled by the male sex hormone testosterone, Directors are inventive, independent, and assertive. Their personalities are characterized by competitiveness, decisiveness, and rational analysis. Directors set goals and achieve them, and aren’t afraid to go their own way. Women as well as men can be dominated by testosterone; according to Fisher’s research, 9.7 percent of females are Directors (compared to 24.8 percent of men). Directors make the best love match with Negotiators, whose tenderness will complement their tough-minded nature.
Negotiator (Estrogen) – Intuitive, imaginative, and idealistic, Negotiators are dominated by the female sex hormone estrogen. They are introspective, big-picture thinkers who excel in verbal skills, consensus building, and long-term planning. Negotiators shine when it comes to empathy, nurturing, and other social skills. Like Directors, this personality type is not gender-specific; 20.4 percent of men are Negotiators (compared to 35.8 percent of women). Negotiators will have the best luck in love by pairing with Directors, whose decisiveness will complement their ambiguity.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 31, 2017 14:27:58 GMT -5
Negotiator 95%
Builder 83%
Explorer 69%
Director 26%
I wonder how much of my old "explorer" trait has been extinguished by 25 yrs of a SM, living with a manipulative controller? It will be interesting to see how things are a few years from now.
How much do you think your current situation affects some of these test scores, compared to the person you where a decade ago?
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 31, 2017 19:56:36 GMT -5
Director 90%
Explorer 81%
Builder 79% <-- had to answer a tie-breaker
Negotiator 58%
I've heard of giving 110%, but apparently I'm giving 308%. No wonder I need a vacation!
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Post by WindSister on Sept 1, 2017 7:34:18 GMT -5
Negotiator 95% Builder 83% Explorer 69% Director 26% I wonder how much of my old "explorer" trait has been extinguished by 25 yrs of a SM, living with a manipulative controller? It will be interesting to see how things are a few years from now. How much do you think your current situation affects some of these test scores, compared to the person you where a decade ago? People are dynamic -- we never stay the same throughout a lifetime regardless of a SM or not. We are also very complex, so a simple test (though well-thought-out and backed with a ton of research) can't tell the whole story. Each question matters and I think even if one has the overall trait of a type, people will vary based on which specific questions they relate to or not. |
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Post by misssunnybunny on Sept 1, 2017 9:20:23 GMT -5
Negotiator/Builder. I can identify with the descriptions for both; it fits my personality as a social worker, and someone who wants to run classes on etiquette and social graces NEGOTIATORS are philosophers. These women (and men) express traits linked with the estrogen system in the brain. These people see the big picture. They are imaginative and intuitive. They have superb language and people skills. They are also emotionally expressive, as well as agreeable, trusting and compassionate. Negotiators seek someone with whom they can make an intensely intimate, deeply meaningful, inspiring and spiritual connection. But Negotiators, like Directors, prefer to go out with one person at a time and to explore the depths of this potential partnership. They dislike wasting time on irrelevant, trivial or boring socializing. When they find “The One,” Negotiators are superb at generating and maintaining intimacy with this partner. They avoid conflicts with a mate, and make major personal adjustments to strengthen this cherished bond. They give thoughtful gifts, such as a treasured book or photograph. They share their most personal feelings. And they want their partner to share his or her feelings too. Negotiators are often attracted to their opposite, Directors. BUILDERS are pillars of society. Most likely highly expressive of the serotonin system in the brain, they are traditional and conventional, as well as cautious, calm and often social. These men and women like to build networks; community and family are important to them. They make good managers because they are orderly, conscientious, thorough and loyal. And they respect rules and like schedules. Builders seek a stable and predictable team player, someone who shares their fidelity to family and tradition. They take courtship seriously, too. Builders don’t choose a partner impulsively. They believe in good manners, old-fashioned courtesy, punctuality and well-arranged schedules. Builders tend to think concretely; they are literal; they like and trust facts. So on a date, a Builder is likely to engage in tangible conversations - about food, travel, sports, the weather, TV programs and/or movies. They are often good at “small talk,” short conversations on concrete topics. They can be very modest when discussing their achievements. And they tend to take the opinions of their friends and relatives seriously. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 1, 2017 16:22:52 GMT -5
This test reminds me of the spiritual gifts test I took 30 yrs. ago. My score was Service and Mercy. What annoyed me then was the fact that most of the women I knew got the same thing. I said to a friend of mine," I scored the same as the women!" He showed me the list of all the things you could use your gifts for in the church. The list for Service and Mercy was far longer than his gifts, Leadership and teaching. By the way he went on to be a pastor! That pleased me for a while.
Now it seems to be the same. 9.7% of females are directors, (compared to 24.8% of males). Meanwhile 20.4% of men are negotiators ( compared to 30.8% of women). Tests like these remind me that leadership abilities was squashed in my upbringing by a Bi-Polar mother with a Narc. mentality. Top that of with a high metabolism, skinny body, being a 12yr old boy from Northern Jersey moved into the heart of tobacco country in N.C. That makes you the last to be picked for football, basketball, baseball, etc... Then I married a Manipulative controller.
I don't want pity. I am saying that it's who I am. I get it, I understand it, I embrace it. I want to work with it! In fact you would think It would be easier for women to identify with me, get along with me, and want me. Yet I continue to hear how women love a man to lead!
One big problem with that ,is my own W used to say that. Then reality would bonk that in the head like a 2x4! The most trivial "leadership" got run over like a tank and squashed. Hard to then make any big decisions. Yet here I am getting divorced and striking out on my own. (start the Star Trek opening monologue!)
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Post by JMX on Sept 2, 2017 20:22:04 GMT -5
Argh. I am going to have to take it again -
Scored:
75% in Negotiator
73% in Explorer
I totes need a Director!
Now, I need to take it again to remember how low the other two were but I think they were in the high 30s.
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Post by brian on Sept 2, 2017 20:30:02 GMT -5
I forget my percentages, but I'm a Director/Explorer
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