Post by baza on Aug 20, 2017 23:55:03 GMT -5
This observation is prompted by a post from our esteemed - and lateral thinking - Sister bballgirl on another thread.
That thread was actually in the "Post SM" folder and was relevant to fresh dating scenarios and the main thrust was that a potential datee who gives you the arse after a short while has actually done you a favour by not wasting your time any further, leaving you "free" to avail yourself of the "next opportunity".
I think however that it has wider applications than that, particularly an ILIASM shithole.
If your spouse is continually rejecting you in such a scenario, they are doing you a favour by re-affirming their rejective attitude to you, letting you know in no uncertain terms that the deal is pretty much done and that what you see is what you are going to continually get (or not get I guess).
At every individual rejection, you are provided with this stark reminder, and it is an opportunity for you to reflect on that, and consider whether you want to go on with the deal under those circumstances.
What you might choose to do in light of these "reminders" is another matter, but the "reminders" in and of themselves are very valuable.
Unfortunately these "reminders" are delivered up in a very unpleasant and hurtful manner - rejection - which hurts like fuck and gets you concentrating on your hurt feelings and trashed self esteem rather than seeing them for the "reminders" they actually are.
So your spouses rejective behaviour is in fact doing you a favour.
They are providing you with a string of "reminders".
You may - or may not - choose to act on these reminders.
PS - thanks again Sister bballgirl for that post
That thread was actually in the "Post SM" folder and was relevant to fresh dating scenarios and the main thrust was that a potential datee who gives you the arse after a short while has actually done you a favour by not wasting your time any further, leaving you "free" to avail yourself of the "next opportunity".
I think however that it has wider applications than that, particularly an ILIASM shithole.
If your spouse is continually rejecting you in such a scenario, they are doing you a favour by re-affirming their rejective attitude to you, letting you know in no uncertain terms that the deal is pretty much done and that what you see is what you are going to continually get (or not get I guess).
At every individual rejection, you are provided with this stark reminder, and it is an opportunity for you to reflect on that, and consider whether you want to go on with the deal under those circumstances.
What you might choose to do in light of these "reminders" is another matter, but the "reminders" in and of themselves are very valuable.
Unfortunately these "reminders" are delivered up in a very unpleasant and hurtful manner - rejection - which hurts like fuck and gets you concentrating on your hurt feelings and trashed self esteem rather than seeing them for the "reminders" they actually are.
So your spouses rejective behaviour is in fact doing you a favour.
They are providing you with a string of "reminders".
You may - or may not - choose to act on these reminders.
PS - thanks again Sister bballgirl for that post
