Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2019 10:39:40 GMT -5
Just sending an update. Wow, I can't believe it's been this long. I want to everyone to know that I read and really thought about everything you all had to say. Also want to share in case anyone is in the place I was in.
I stayed.
It turned from a fight to nothing at all. We had the tough conversations.
He's admitted to having zero drive ... Has admitted that "he's not used to being in a relationship this long being with only one person" ... being "bored" and then to hormones \ ED \ no drive. We've done this circle over and over since this post. Lots of fights. Lots of promises too though. The disappearing libido got worse.
It's officially been a year since I've had sex. It's now not just arguments and a once in a while pity F. It's gone.
We were out yesterday and a random guy was very openly hitting on me. This has happened a few times recently and it made him feel like he needed to address it, I guess. He was still avoiding my questions. I was still putting up with it.
He told me he hasn't been able to get hard or felt a desire at all, for any type of intimacy, for the past year. He planned tons of "romantic nights" to "keep me from being mad" (YAY!!) but would never follow through so it made me more frustrated.
He planned special occasions and at one point said we just needed to plan sex every week, promising every weekend. Nothing. He won't cuddle or really touch me at all and he said it's because he's too scared I'll try to take it further and he won't be able to perform. But you told me this was happening ... Sooo... Why lie? Again, to "keep me happy" ... OK.
He's too embarrassed to see a specialist, he says. He doesn't want to admit he's not a man and can't please his wife anymore, so would rather avoid it.
I was sympathetic towards his embarrassment about this at first but I told him that should feel incredibly minor compared to losing his wife. This is not an excuse for years of unhappiness. So he said he'd make the appointment.
Surprise surprise. Appointment was never made. Now he's waiting because there's another location opening up that's closer ... Like 4 weeks from now.
We'll see how this turns out but if I was a betting man ...