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Post by DryCreek on Jul 28, 2017 11:34:15 GMT -5
Now block her from your phone and social media. The only way to stop a psycho is to go no contact. Gets you over it faster too. This, McRoomMate. Pay your landlord to change the locks. Don't trust that she doesn't have another key. Aside from all the other dangers, your freedom is at risk when it gets physical and psycho. Guys are hugely at disadvantage from false claims to the police - you could find her claiming you were the abusive one. The suggestion for a restraining order may sound extreme, but it's a good idea to protect yourself against her nuttiness. Not that it stops her from doing anything, but it clearly documents who's the aggressor ahead of any incidents.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jul 28, 2017 12:05:32 GMT -5
Now block her from your phone and social media. The only way to stop a psycho is to go no contact. Gets you over it faster too. This, McRoomMate . Pay your landlord to change the locks. Don't trust that she doesn't have another key. Aside from all the other dangers, your freedom is at risk when it gets physical and psycho. Guys are hugely at disadvantage from false claims to the police - you could find her claiming you were the abusive one. The suggestion for a restraining order may sound extreme, but it's a good idea to protect yourself against her nuttiness. Not that it stops her from doing anything, but it clearly documents who's the aggressor ahead of any incidents. Very much appreciate the good advice. She drove off to her family 400 kilometers (250 miles away). She is unlikely to be lingering around with no place to stay. I could be wrong of course. My gut says she kept driving to see family. God I hope it is over. Amen.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 28, 2017 13:40:08 GMT -5
As I told you before, her behavior isn't normal. Get. Out. Now.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2017 17:03:53 GMT -5
So as many of you know, I am in a new relationship for about 3 months now. My girlfriend has a jealous side to her. At first I thought it was cute but then she starts to get this crazy look in her eye and accuse me of cheating on her and so on. Her jealously erupts in a rage on average about once a week. I find myself sleeping in my car at least one night a week so far. Since we have been together for 3 months or so - she has so far literally SPIT in my face and thrown things and warned that she can be very violent if I "f--k with her mind" and said it was possible for her to "kill me" and "to ask her mother". No one ever spit in my face before except a camel once in my whole freaking life. She also has told me stories where she threw her old boyfriend across the room in a rage when she was mad at him and he crashed into the wall and she thought he might have been dead. She also explained how she nearly scalped another lady in a street fight. Last night for the first time she hit me in the face - it was not a big punch but she hit me with a paper folder and then when I tried to leave she took the keys from me and locked the door so I was trapped. She was in a jealous rage again because I had spent too much time out with my children and then at the office arriving late around 11pm. I told her to keep her distance and did not put my back on her and got some things and left. She said we were finished and she was leaving and that she was no longer mad at me. This happened last night. Now the next day - she is begging for me to foregive her and that we need to be a happy couple in love. I told her it was over and she needed to leave and go back with her family and I even offered her some money to help her out as she is unemployed. So any insights / help / advice. Run, now!! Do not pass go, do not collect $200. She is fucking nuts!! Make sure she doesn't have a key to your house. If she calls and makes threats, get a protective order. Be sure you have documented all of her threats and violence with dates and times. It makes your testimony more credible. Last, get a gun. You don't need this shit.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 28, 2017 17:13:30 GMT -5
Please also get counseling for yourself so you learn to discern what is normal and healthy behavior from a partner and what is red flag behavior. You are unable now to recognize that you are with a partner who is unbalanced and dangerous. That you ever thought her extreme jealous was cute indicates you don't know what kind of people to avoid.
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 28, 2017 17:17:51 GMT -5
OK It is OVER. I went back and checked and her bags were packed in the car, then I went in the apartment and I gave her some money for her trip back and she left without a word. I also checked to make sure she did not take any extra keys. I feel good and horrible and the same time. The wound is fresh in my heart, it bleeds, and shall have yet another scar on the existing scars. Love hurts. Since you got all the good advice you needed, I'll make the joke.... When she said she was "bi" you didn't understand that she meant "polar". (I know, I can't help myself ) Just be safe.
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Post by baza on Jul 28, 2017 18:03:24 GMT -5
Perhaps a full examination / review of your last few years would be a timely exercise Brother mac, in particular your role (as the common denominator in these adventures)
Doing a full autopsy of failed relationships (and our own role in that) can be very illuminating about our own motives, thought processes, decision making processes and suchlike.
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Post by becca on Jul 28, 2017 19:09:08 GMT -5
I am just seeing this now and felt a sigh of relief when I got to the post that you had left the relationship. A little jealousy can be "cute" but she was off the chart and when you said she was jealous of your children that made my own blood boil.
I know there is an emptiness now but that wound will heal and I agree with Baza that this is a good time to take account of the last few years. Maybe you will gain some fresh insight so you don't find yourself in this situation again.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 28, 2017 20:01:28 GMT -5
Change your locks. She was nuts. Just because you didn't find extra keys doesn't mean she lacks them. Block her on social media and don't answer calls or texts. She's likely to change her mind and would experience any acknowledgement by you as encouragement.
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 28, 2017 21:15:28 GMT -5
Maybe you will gain some fresh insight so you don't find yourself in this situation again. What? Learn from ones mistakes ? What a novel idea . I may consider it .......
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jul 29, 2017 1:23:11 GMT -5
Jeez roomy.
Bullet well and truly fucking dodged! It's a shame you had to go through what you did though.
We live, we learn.
It'll be easier to spot if it happens again.
Stay safe and sane man ✌️Xxx
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Post by McRoomMate on Jul 29, 2017 16:27:02 GMT -5
Perhaps a full examination / review of your last few years would be a timely exercise Brother mac, in particular your role (as the common denominator in these adventures) Doing a full autopsy of failed relationships (and our own role in that) can be very illuminating about our own motives, thought processes, decision making processes and suchlike. Brother baza I very much appreciate your suggestion here. A suggestion no doubt from experience and wisdom and your shares and guidance are very much respected. Now - let me dig in my heart and see if I can muster the courage to actually DO this.
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Post by solodriver on Jul 30, 2017 2:24:18 GMT -5
Run She's crazy and disrespectful lose that bitch. If someone spit in my face it would not go on for 3 days let alone 3 months. Why have you tolerated this behavior? Don't you want better for yourself? If a woman spit in my face it would not go on beyond 3 minutes. I put up with crap like that in my first marriage and your story actually brought back flashbacks to me.
Run Forrest Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by solodriver on Jul 30, 2017 2:27:54 GMT -5
OK It is OVER. I went back and checked and her bags were packed in the car, then I went in the apartment and I gave her some money for her trip back and she left without a word. I also checked to make sure she did not take any extra keys. I feel good and horrible and the same time. The wound is fresh in my heart, it bleeds, and shall have yet another scar on the existing scars. Love hurts. So does a knife stabbing you in your heart or slicing your neck! At least this way you will live to love again!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like I said I was an abused husband in my first marriage, but back then it wasn't recognized as such. I learned many years later and with the help of a very dear friend I learned. But even with all the physical pain I endured over 2 years from being slapped, stuff thrown at me, spit in my face, thrown to the ground a few times and the verbal abuse, my heart was still broken when we split. I endured it because I came from an abusive family and was treated that way by my parents growing up, so when the abuse started in my first marriage, I thought it was normal. I had no self esteem and thought "But she said she loves me!" Just like my parents did after an abusive episode growing up.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jul 30, 2017 4:40:35 GMT -5
OK It is OVER. I went back and checked and her bags were packed in the car, then I went in the apartment and I gave her some money for her trip back and she left without a word. I also checked to make sure she did not take any extra keys. I feel good and horrible and the same time. The wound is fresh in my heart, it bleeds, and shall have yet another scar on the existing scars. Love hurts. So does a knife stabbing you in your heart or slicing your neck! At least this way you will live to love again!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like I said I was an abused husband in my first marriage, but back then it wasn't recognized as such. I learned many years later and with the help of a very dear friend I learned. But even with all the physical pain I endured over 2 years from being slapped, stuff thrown at me, spit in my face, thrown to the ground a few times and the verbal abuse, my heart was still broken when we split. I endured it because I came from an abusive family and was treated that way by my parents growing up, so when the abuse started in my first marriage, I thought it was normal. I had no self esteem and thought "But she said she loves me!" Just like my parents did after an abusive episode growing up.
solodriver THANK-YOU !!! There is a pattern here tell me if it looks familiar: 1) Several days go by she is passionately in love with me, she looks at me like a cat purring in pure happiness. We kiss for hours she says she loves me about 30 times a day. We hold hands, we are always touching. 2) About once a week - she totally snaps - mostly she keeps thinking I am going to my ex-wife or because I am working too long and she is alone and feels neglected. 3) When her personality changes she is calm and distant - cold and then snaps into this hyteric rage - she has spit, thrown things, she finally hit me in the face and lunged to lock the door and the keys - we fought over the keys but I feared we could escalate so I let her go. 4) The next day she is very sorry and apologizes and says her jealousy is out of control. She is nowbegging me to come back and says she is so sad and sorry. We have been together for 7 months and this started about 3 months ago. My first wife and girlfriend before that were both physically abusive. My first wife even punched me in the face after an argument. I was laying down to sleep and bam - she hit me right in the nose.
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