Super quick, awesome update
Jul 20, 2017 2:27:00 GMT -5
via mobile
JMX, unmatched, and 20 more like this
Post by lyn on Jul 20, 2017 2:27:00 GMT -5
Hey guys! Sorry I've been away and not keeping track here at ILIASM, my home away from home😊
I've quickly been perusing the boardand thought I'd post a super quick update here.
My stbx and I are officially, legally separated, for now. He's living it up somewhere in the Northern Rockies for the summer, and I'm over hanging on the Oregon Coast until a bit later in the summer season.
Life without the dud is awesome - I have to say. Getting out from under the 240 lbs of asexual dead-weight has been like being reborn kind of. I dunno, but it's been amazing. Something to be said for breathing air that doesn't contain the dud's carbon dioxide does wonders if that makes sense at all. An amazing fwb has made the summer of '17 my best summer in many many years - more on this later😉
I'll be returning to the desert SW in a month or so to get my physical belongings ready for my move - super excited about that, but would like to see the mercury under 105 before this happens. I've got a great attorney all retained and on the ready for when my stbx emerges from the Northern Rockies at some point around Labor Day. It's been impossible to get him served and we've given up trying for the time being, but, it will happen soon enough. A well drafted separation agreement does the trick in the interim. Surprisingly enough, my stbx was willing to sign this little golden document prior to leaving for HIS summer trip now several weeks ago. It's been a blessing knowing that I am covered legally in case there are any hijinks on his side. So far, it's been pretty quiet. I highly recommend LEGALLY separating should you find yourself apart from your own stbx prior to filing for the big D.
Legal mumbo jumbo aside - getting on the other side of this POS joke of a marriage is the BEST thing I've ever done. I honestly don't know what I was so afraid of! With the fear, however, I did do ALOT of planning. This has been invaluable. I did meet with 3 great attorneys over the past several months and decided to go the contested route so that I could actually begin living my life whilst letting the experts take care of all of the legal business.
Pretty amazing what happens when you let people in - get honest with yourself, and start DOING instead of only "planning TODO". It's not nearly as difficult as you might imagine. Man, did I have myself psyched out FOR YEARS! Huge waste of time and energy.
This summer has been rich, however, it's been a time for serious reflection also. Really beginning to identify my own pattern of being attractive to and attracted to certain types of men - I've got some work to do def if I don't want to end up in another dysfunctional relationship with this specific personality type (narc - bpd - type).
IN THE MEANTIME, 😊, I've got an amazing friend here in this adorable little Oceanside town where I'm staying for another month or so. A friend amongst friends I've had for years has turned into a bit more, however, it's just an amazing tryst - nothing serious, but it does feel good to be WANTED - sex with someone that wants to f*ck your brains out is pretty damn incredible even if only a fwb which is what this us. Sigh........ two doors down from where I'm staying...... I just might take a midnight stroll.
I hope everyone here is well - I'm going to have a more thorough look here to see how and what everyone is doing.
xxxxxx
L
I've quickly been perusing the boardand thought I'd post a super quick update here.
My stbx and I are officially, legally separated, for now. He's living it up somewhere in the Northern Rockies for the summer, and I'm over hanging on the Oregon Coast until a bit later in the summer season.
Life without the dud is awesome - I have to say. Getting out from under the 240 lbs of asexual dead-weight has been like being reborn kind of. I dunno, but it's been amazing. Something to be said for breathing air that doesn't contain the dud's carbon dioxide does wonders if that makes sense at all. An amazing fwb has made the summer of '17 my best summer in many many years - more on this later😉
I'll be returning to the desert SW in a month or so to get my physical belongings ready for my move - super excited about that, but would like to see the mercury under 105 before this happens. I've got a great attorney all retained and on the ready for when my stbx emerges from the Northern Rockies at some point around Labor Day. It's been impossible to get him served and we've given up trying for the time being, but, it will happen soon enough. A well drafted separation agreement does the trick in the interim. Surprisingly enough, my stbx was willing to sign this little golden document prior to leaving for HIS summer trip now several weeks ago. It's been a blessing knowing that I am covered legally in case there are any hijinks on his side. So far, it's been pretty quiet. I highly recommend LEGALLY separating should you find yourself apart from your own stbx prior to filing for the big D.
Legal mumbo jumbo aside - getting on the other side of this POS joke of a marriage is the BEST thing I've ever done. I honestly don't know what I was so afraid of! With the fear, however, I did do ALOT of planning. This has been invaluable. I did meet with 3 great attorneys over the past several months and decided to go the contested route so that I could actually begin living my life whilst letting the experts take care of all of the legal business.
Pretty amazing what happens when you let people in - get honest with yourself, and start DOING instead of only "planning TODO". It's not nearly as difficult as you might imagine. Man, did I have myself psyched out FOR YEARS! Huge waste of time and energy.
This summer has been rich, however, it's been a time for serious reflection also. Really beginning to identify my own pattern of being attractive to and attracted to certain types of men - I've got some work to do def if I don't want to end up in another dysfunctional relationship with this specific personality type (narc - bpd - type).
IN THE MEANTIME, 😊, I've got an amazing friend here in this adorable little Oceanside town where I'm staying for another month or so. A friend amongst friends I've had for years has turned into a bit more, however, it's just an amazing tryst - nothing serious, but it does feel good to be WANTED - sex with someone that wants to f*ck your brains out is pretty damn incredible even if only a fwb which is what this us. Sigh........ two doors down from where I'm staying...... I just might take a midnight stroll.
I hope everyone here is well - I'm going to have a more thorough look here to see how and what everyone is doing.
xxxxxx
L
xxx