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Post by bran127 on Jul 12, 2017 16:47:58 GMT -5
I had family in town so we all went to the lake to hang out and let the kids play. Later on that evening in our hotel room (kids gone) I got REALLY HORNY and me and my dude needed to take a shower so..... I thought "let me just try", and I grabbed him and started to pleasure him. It has been over a year and half, surely he will give in! Not a chance....NADA!! He actually rolled his eyes at me and moaned like it was a big pain in the ass. I think he would have eventually given in to appease me, but as HORNY as I was, I didn't want that kind of sex. He did play with my nipples for a couple of seconds until I pulled away. WTF is that??? You think you can play with my nipples after that bullshit? I don't know why I did it. Deep down I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I was so HORNY! All it really did was piss me off. What makes us keep trying? Honestly, it probably would have been very uncomfortable because we haven't had an emotional connection in a long time, but why did I even think there was a sliver of hope? |
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 17:00:15 GMT -5
It's really tough to accept this reality. I'm sorry for your experience.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jul 12, 2017 17:24:59 GMT -5
Oh, bran, so awful to go through that. I got to the point where I would just look at him and know he'd say no, so I stopped trying (I'm sure that is true for most of us here). Even stopped trying to snuggle, as it felt I was bothering him. It's a crappy feeling.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 12, 2017 17:47:25 GMT -5
Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I knew in my heart of hearts it was really no good trying when from behind I tried to kiss my(at the time) W's neck and cup her breasts. She pulled away from me and said emphatically: "Stop, I don't like to be man handled". Sorry you got hit by the same bad sucker punch.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 12, 2017 18:52:11 GMT -5
OMFG. I love shower sex, just one of the many indulgences I've not had in twenty plus years.
I've said it before and will say it again. These LL husbands are all damned fools.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 12, 2017 18:58:30 GMT -5
... but why did I even think there was a sliver of hope? Hope keeps us going. Sometimes hope is a good thing because it gets us through the hard times. Sometimes hope just prolongs the hard times. |
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laura
Junior Member
Posts: 72 
Age Range: 31-35
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Post by laura on Jul 12, 2017 19:14:44 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. I feel like I've made such doomed and masochistic attempts more than I'd like to remember or admit. The hurt is fresh and raw every damned time. Sometimes we're just that horny, I guess.
It seems to be as hard for us HL people to believe our partners don't like sex as it is for a LL to believe it is imperative.
At least you stopped before it became horribly regrettable sex.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 12, 2017 19:20:18 GMT -5
Your sliver of hope is entwined in your ability to hold onto your confidence in your sexuality.Episodes like this can certainly make one question their beauty, their charm, their sexiness, and own sexual desire!
Lets be honest. It can be life threatening. Don't let that happen to you!
You deserve to be:
Respected
Desired
Cherished
and Pursued
YOU DESERVE THAT! (We all do!)
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 19:28:08 GMT -5
bran127, your first post here pretty much tells all. Four months into dating your Husband, he told you he's asexual. He told you he had previous relationship failures because of that. You thought you were special and you could change that (read:change him). Not because you aren't very special, I'm sure you are. But you can't change who he is. You've been trying to change him for 12 years now. From his perspective, he's quite tired of you trying to make him something he is not. If he told you he was gay, would you spend 12 years trying to make him straight? This is absolutely no different. Your first post here makes it clear you should try not to blame yourself, no matter how hard that is because these rejections hurt so bad. Maybe you should accept him as who he is, and who he told you he was, at the very beginning of the relationship. And expend all that mental energy trying to decide what to do. Like many of us, you made a mistake thinking you could change him. You're not alone at all.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 12, 2017 19:32:22 GMT -5
I'm sorry you didn't get the response you wanted.
At some point for your own peace of mind you have to decide not to go there because refusers don't change
Hugs
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Post by choosinghappy on Jul 12, 2017 19:44:09 GMT -5
Oh bran, I know the feeling all too well. I'm sorry 😕 You can harden to it but it still hurts.
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Post by bran127 on Jul 12, 2017 20:54:18 GMT -5
Even stopped trying to snuggle, as it felt I was bothering him. It's a crappy feeling.[/quote]
Yesss!
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Post by bran127 on Jul 12, 2017 20:59:12 GMT -5
Even stopped trying to snuggle, as it felt I was bothering him. It's a crappy feeling.[/quote]
.
Yessss! This is why I question why I tried. Jeez
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Post by baza on Jul 12, 2017 21:13:03 GMT -5
Sometimes, you feel compelled to touch the stove again, just to check that it still hurts.
You may feel the necessity to touch the stove a few more times yet.
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Post by bran127 on Jul 12, 2017 21:43:47 GMT -5
bran127, your first post here pretty much tells all. Four months into dating your Husband, he told you he's asexual. He told you he had previous relationship failures because of that. You thought you were special and you could change that (read:change him). Not because you aren't very special, I'm sure you are. But you can't change who he is. You've been trying to change him for 12 years now. From his perspective, he's quite tired of you trying to make him something he is not. If he told you he was gay, would you spend 12 years trying to make him straight? This is absolutely no different. Your first post here makes it clear you should try not to blame yourself, no matter how hard that is because these rejections hurt so bad. Maybe you should accept him as who he is, and who he told you he was, at the very beginning of the relationship. And expend all that mental energy trying to decide what to do. Like many of us, you made a mistake thinking you could change him. You're not alone at all. So very true! I actually told a friend the other day that she is trying to change someone who will never be the man she wants. I should look in the mirror and take my own advice. Fuck! |
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