Good article about divorce

Yes, that's part of divorce, all of it.

Some perspectives from "the other side" (Your ex's new wife): (Addressed to the Author NOT BBALLGIRL):
~ Your kids will always love you, the mom, THE MOST. Trust me. They will "be nice" to Dad's wife, hopefully, but that is the extent of it. Thank you for not getting in the way of the relationship they CAN have (one of friendship) with her. She scrutinizes every little thing she does when it comes to your kids - should she, shouldn't she, when should she step in, step back, etc.
~ YOU are in HER life more than SHE wants, too. It's HER reality that this past lover of her husband will always and forever be around. She carries the burden of you around just as much. She appreciates you no longer feel this need to hug when you meet. She is with your ex now, loving him and there for him day in and day out. Your memories are yours to hold, but keep those to yourself.
~ An ex wife who never quite moves on, and still seems to love her ex, is troublesome. She wants to still remain relevant somehow in his life, more than she should as simply the mother of his kids. When you meet someone and have a relationship of your own, you will be too busy forging new, happy memories than holding on to days gone by with a man who is no longer "yours." I hope you can find that relationship.
~ Choosing divorce is not "hero-like." It's a choice you made. The need to constantly be the martyr is a bit off-putting. Sorry, this one hits me because my husband's ex does that a lot, still, TEN YEARS LATER. She will post something on Facebook that ends up on my newsfeed (and his) because a mutual friend "liked" it (well, no real friend of ours would like it, a mutual acquaintance). Such as: "I didn't quit my marriage, I survived it by leaving." OMG lady, MOVE ON. That illicited a HUGE eye roll from me and when my husband saw it in his newsfeed he said, "Wow, she's quite the saint, isn't she??" He was pissed. Move on. Move on. Move on. You don't need to prove to the world how "right" you were to divorce. You ESPECIALLY don't have to prove to YOUR KIDS how "right" you were to divorce their DAD. All this author needs to do is move on - live, learn, grow. Sounds like she is trying, I will give her that -- but honestly it seems she is still in love with her ex. That's just my perspective on it.

YOU inspire me BBALLGIRL. I bet an article YOU wrote would be a hundred times more inspiring than this one.

Thank you for the kind words WindSister
I thought it was an interesting article to share because some of what she wrote I could relate to especially the wasting time with online dating but for me it's an outlet and nothing that I do is a waste of time. It's how I'm choosing to spend my time. I also journal about each man I meet and the experience and what I've learned from it.
Overall this woman makes divorce seem like a negative where she said that she doesn't want to spend time away from her kids. Well then she should not have filed for divorce. She does seem like she's had buyer's remorse as shamwow said. Frankly I think she's quite immature.
Also the part where she speaks of her "kids approval for divorce". Children do not need to be burdened with adult topics and decisions. I had decided to divorce my H long before my son started begging me to. If nothing else I hope I will be an example for my children that if someone is not treating you well and they won't change that you don't have to stay.
I thought the article was good to share because it does describe a lot of the emotions that come and go after divorce. I was aware of all of those emotions though because I was divorced and alone and worst of all lonely while I was married.
Divorce was the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life. I was married for 23 years the last 13 were awful but it took me years to make that decision.
I made that decision knowing exactly what my life would be like.
My life is happier and more peaceful now.
I went out on a date last night with a nice man who I've gone out with before.
At the end of the night he told me "I can't believe you are divorced, who would let you go?"
I didn't say anything specific to that but the reality is:
Life goes on after divorce and it's our life to make a good one. No one else can make it good except for us. Ultimately we are all responsible for ourselves.
Oh and WindSister you are an inspiration as well. I'm so happy for your new life.

Yeah "alone" is not natural but one does not have to be married to not be alone.

I like that term "lite-dating".
It could definitely ebb and flow, my enthusiasm for the dating apps but I just take it one day at a time and I know my worth and I know what I bring to the table. I have a FWB, it's a no strings relationship and it works because we have our rules yet the sex is amazing and there is a bond and passion but this allows me to date more selectively and if I date someone, have sex, and it fizzles out that's ok. He wasn't the one for me.
To some degree I feel like - why shouldn't I just have fun too like these men?
A lot are players. There was a man we will call him Joe.
He took me out to a very nice restaurant, lots of chemistry, total gentleman, flirty, gave compliments, paid for my valet, seemed promising.
He asked me out again, near his house, a city I taught in for 8 years but zero sex with the dud I was married to. So we went to dinner then back to his place, had amazing amazing sex - sex for an hour straight I was dripping in sweat from my hair, he sucked my toes, licked my ass, after he came he cleaned me and went down on me again. After a week of light texting no contact. Total player. He contacted me again asked me out but dropped the ball. Then contacted me again last week, he was clearly playing a game so this was my text to him, respectful but made my point:
"Hey Joe I'm not feeling a romantic connection.
Our dates were fun, sex was great but we are not on the same page so good luck finding whatever it is you are seeking, oh and I worked in St Cloud for 8 years and never had sex in that city so thanks for helping check that off the bucket list". Done.
My point is why can't we as women be as casual about the dating as men are?
The way I look at it, I know my worth and its up to a man to court and persue me. I've come to a point a realization that I don't need a man or romantic love in my life to be happy. Yes a man and romantic love would make me happier and would make my life fuller but it doesn't complete anything for me.
And not for nothing but fwb and I have amazing sex, then he leaves, I cook a steak for myself or go out for sushi and watch tv and enjoy my own company too.
If the right man comes along fine if he doesn't that's ok too, I'm going to have fun and entertain myself with the freedom and independence I have by not being in a committed relationship. One thing is for sure: I won't settle.

I'm picturing you painting your face like Mel Gibson in Braveheart and screaming "FREEDOM!"

That's what I plan on doing tomorrow during my court hearing.