Post by cagedadventurer on Jul 8, 2017 19:28:49 GMT -5
jgb asked - "so the question is something that I haven't seen discussed here; if you are in a sexless relationship and there really is no realistic chance of fixing that, how do you get to where it doesn't bother you so much?"
jgb - I think I feel your words and where you REALLY are today- EXHAUSTED AND TIRED OF TRYING. But you are pretty certain that this is as good as it gets and you will live with it. Thus your question is certainly valid and lifeinwoodenville is right, it will always hurt. HOWEVER:
...it may help to look at your W as truly, and on many, many levels, dysfunctional. And for reasons you will never know, she has issues she cannot overcome even if life depended on it. But because she is "dysfunctional she is and would be lost without YOU. So consider that you were the one meant to care for her. Look at her as someone with no-where else to go if not for YOU and if she were not with you, life would have turned out very, very badly for her. You were the one meant to protect her from that "what would have been". You, the protector and provider. You are actually her silent, gallant hero on every level.
Accept living more like the roommates you are, take action by doing things for yourself - selfish man things - big and small, you'll be amazed at the new spring in your step! No more waiting for her - asking if she wants to do this or that or if she wants to go here or there and have her holding you back dictating schedules, etc.- you tell her what you are doing, and if she would like to join you..... she's welcome to. But you are okay either way.
jgb - I think I feel your words and where you REALLY are today- EXHAUSTED AND TIRED OF TRYING. But you are pretty certain that this is as good as it gets and you will live with it. Thus your question is certainly valid and lifeinwoodenville is right, it will always hurt. HOWEVER:
...it may help to look at your W as truly, and on many, many levels, dysfunctional. And for reasons you will never know, she has issues she cannot overcome even if life depended on it. But because she is "dysfunctional she is and would be lost without YOU. So consider that you were the one meant to care for her. Look at her as someone with no-where else to go if not for YOU and if she were not with you, life would have turned out very, very badly for her. You were the one meant to protect her from that "what would have been". You, the protector and provider. You are actually her silent, gallant hero on every level.
Accept living more like the roommates you are, take action by doing things for yourself - selfish man things - big and small, you'll be amazed at the new spring in your step! No more waiting for her - asking if she wants to do this or that or if she wants to go here or there and have her holding you back dictating schedules, etc.- you tell her what you are doing, and if she would like to join you..... she's welcome to. But you are okay either way.
