A Grateful Hello from the Other Side
Jul 4, 2017 3:14:15 GMT -5
via mobile
Admin, thefullmoon, and 14 more like this
Post by isoldeblue on Jul 4, 2017 3:14:15 GMT -5
Hi there. I was thinking of you all in this last week. A friend (who's now a therapist) asked me candidly about the marriage I began leaving 2 years ago -- and to my shock (given how many mutual work acquaintances we have) I answered her candidly.
I was happy to tell her what an rnotmpus difference it made for me having you - total strangers on my screen, some halfway around the world - to listen, sympathize, tell me I'm not crazy or weird, and help me build my confidence and recognize my own value and right to be happy. I can never thank you enough for that.
Happy to report I'm now 2 years + almost 3 months from the day I told my refuser I was done -- and life is so much better. There were times of fear, stress, over-compensating adventurousness. But also learning, healing, growing closer to my kids, finding myself for the first time since...college?
What does 2 years out of my ILIASM separation look like? Divorce is finally almost over. Even in California I'm being screwed a bit financially, but it'll be ok. I met a sweet, patient, nerdy, sexy man not long after I moved out. I warned him that I was in no state to be good for anyone, much less commit, yet he persisted. We struggled for about 1.5 years, getting to know each other and helping each other get over our fears and insecurities. He's a genuinely good main...and I'll admit that I'm thoroughly enjoying our physical relationship too. It took me a while to calm down to normal, to trust that he sees the value in me and won't disappear, but I'm finally there. Now I have to learn to be happy with a Good Thing and not be nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I can't thank you all enough for the kind encouragement to a total stranger. Your perspectives and support helped me make a leap I desoerately needed to make -- and now I and 3 other adults (including my ex and his new gf) plus our kids are much happier people. Not perfect, but light years happier.
I'll try to return the favor here.
Much love --
I was happy to tell her what an rnotmpus difference it made for me having you - total strangers on my screen, some halfway around the world - to listen, sympathize, tell me I'm not crazy or weird, and help me build my confidence and recognize my own value and right to be happy. I can never thank you enough for that.
Happy to report I'm now 2 years + almost 3 months from the day I told my refuser I was done -- and life is so much better. There were times of fear, stress, over-compensating adventurousness. But also learning, healing, growing closer to my kids, finding myself for the first time since...college?
What does 2 years out of my ILIASM separation look like? Divorce is finally almost over. Even in California I'm being screwed a bit financially, but it'll be ok. I met a sweet, patient, nerdy, sexy man not long after I moved out. I warned him that I was in no state to be good for anyone, much less commit, yet he persisted. We struggled for about 1.5 years, getting to know each other and helping each other get over our fears and insecurities. He's a genuinely good main...and I'll admit that I'm thoroughly enjoying our physical relationship too. It took me a while to calm down to normal, to trust that he sees the value in me and won't disappear, but I'm finally there. Now I have to learn to be happy with a Good Thing and not be nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I can't thank you all enough for the kind encouragement to a total stranger. Your perspectives and support helped me make a leap I desoerately needed to make -- and now I and 3 other adults (including my ex and his new gf) plus our kids are much happier people. Not perfect, but light years happier.
I'll try to return the favor here.
Much love --
