Post by northstarmom on Aug 21, 2017 20:09:06 GMT -5
"I'm not sure I even want her around. We sleep in separate rooms, and I sleep just fine.
In not one of your posts --here and elsewhere on ILIASM -- you haven't said one good thing about her. Why are you with her?
Post by ironhamster on Aug 23, 2017 17:38:40 GMT -5
"They don't want you. They only want you around."
Ouch...that one stung.
I'm not sure I even want her around. We sleep in separate rooms, and I sleep just fine.
If she wants out, she'll tell me. Right now life for her is pretty good, notwithstanding my celibacy.
Joe, I hope you give that some thought. You and your wife have an odd relationship, and I really cannot understand it enough to give any advice I feel would help. I hope you both find happiness.
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2018 5:44:33 GMT -5
Here's a repost.
Are You A Refuser?
Written on June 4th, 2012
I have reached a conclusion today.
We, the refused, are refusers.
How so, you ask? Simple.
We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have.
We refuse to accept that life can be different
We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we need to be happy.
We refuse to believe that we can get the money we need to divorce
We refuse to believe that our spouses understand what they are doing to us.
We refuse to blame them for what they have done to us
We refuse to recognize the depth of the damage it does to be refused over and over again by someone who 'loves' us
We refuse to believe that they stopped loving us
We refuse to believe that they stopped caring about our real, physical needs.
But most of all, we refuse to believe that we are, in fact, desirable and good people. We refuse to believe this because they refuse us.
But I say, I am a refuser too.
I REFUSE to look at plain facts and treat them as 'complicated'
I REFUSE to say "It's just sex"
I REFUSE to support someone who does not support me in the most basic human way.
I REFUSE to hold her blameless. EVERYONE has a CHOICE in how they CHOOSE to keep their spouse happy!
I REFUSE to believe that her feelings are valid. They are not. They are based on psychologically damaged circuits.
But most of all,
I REFUSE to stick around
I REFUSE to go back
I REFUSE to ever be in such a situation again.
I REFUSE to buy the lie. If you don't want me, it doesn't mean anything other than this: you don't want me.
Repeat ten times:
They don't want you, they only want you around.
Post by baza on Sept 23, 2018 6:28:21 GMT -5
left his ILIASM shithole about 6 years ago.
He posted an update in here in June 2017.
Like so many escapees, his life took on an entirely different trajectory, and in that post he mentioned being about to become a Dad, with his partner of 5 years or so.
Apparently, he hasn't had any contact with his former missus for ages.
He seems happy nowdays.
He did not seem to be too happy back in his ILIASM days.