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Post by bballgirl on Jul 3, 2017 20:26:09 GMT -5
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 3, 2017 20:44:19 GMT -5
That's a great one! Glad you found it and posted it!
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Post by baza on Jul 3, 2017 21:04:38 GMT -5
It is not easy to acknowledge and/or accept that you are remaining in a sub-optimal relationship by your own choice.
It is much more convenient to look outside of oneself and blame your spouse, and/or outside factors that you are in the situation you are.
To be a victim in other words.
To try and evade your responsibility of choice.
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Post by WindSister on Jul 5, 2017 12:00:55 GMT -5
What a trip reading through the comments. I must not have seen that one back in the day as I didn't comment, but seeing old names was nostalgic. Good post, too!
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 5, 2017 12:18:58 GMT -5
What a trip reading through the comments. I must not have seen that one back in the day as I didn't comment, but seeing old names was nostalgic. Good post, too! Yes I liked seeing the old names too. |
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Post by becca on Jul 6, 2017 9:47:34 GMT -5
Thank you so much for posting this, bballgirl. I needed to see this today. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 6, 2017 9:50:41 GMT -5
Thank you so much for posting this, bballgirl. I needed to see this today. Glad it helped honey! Hugs xoxo |
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Post by warmways on Jul 8, 2017 17:35:02 GMT -5
Thank you for this bballgirl. I needed this too.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 8, 2017 17:39:30 GMT -5
Thank you for this bballgirl. I needed this too. Your welcome. It's a good one. Xoxo |
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Post by shamwow on Jul 11, 2017 15:46:44 GMT -5
"They don't want you. They only want you around."
Ouch...that one stung.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 6, 2017 11:48:02 GMT -5
This one is a classic. I never saw it on EP (it was around a year before I found ILIASM on EP). Boils it down, though. Boils it down good.
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Post by warmways on Aug 6, 2017 11:59:05 GMT -5
I just read this again. It's brilliant.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 6, 2017 12:52:15 GMT -5
I read a similar exercise to do for yourself like this one. Write a goodbye letter to what your letting go. It may be your home, your relationship, or a long ago loss. Start with something more superficial, eventually you will grow ready to say good bye to major aspects of your life.
The book I found this in is titled "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher, EDD and Robert Alberti. PHD. A book used in divorce recovery. (More than one million copies sold)
I wrote my own letter last week. I titled it "Saying Goodbye What is the Loss and What is the Gain".
It was therapeutic. It took me about an hour to come up with 2 pages. The Gain part turned out to be much longer and better.
I also look forward to giving it a season, and writing it again. Some day i'll post it.
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Post by dinnaken on Aug 17, 2017 13:27:42 GMT -5
Thanks for posting this bballgirl Last summer, one Friday evening I googled the phrase 'sexless marriage' for the first time and a whole new world opened up! I read until the early hours of the morning and this was one of the three quotes I copied and pasted to keep. The next morning I went into town and opened a separate bank account - my first step out. Every time I felt myself weakening in my decision to leave, I re-read this piece. Thank you |
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Post by celibatejoe on Aug 17, 2017 13:55:47 GMT -5
"They don't want you. They only want you around." Ouch...that one stung. I'm not sure I even want her around. We sleep in separate rooms, and I sleep just fine. If she wants out, she'll tell me. Right now life for her is pretty good, notwithstanding my celibacy. |
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