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Post by csl on Jul 2, 2017 22:35:35 GMT -5
Okay, this is a mixed post, I confess. Today makes me wonder if I should even be here on ILIASM. Wife and I celebrated our 46th anniversary. It is my intention for my posts to help, but I wonder if the difference in my "deal" and yours makes that possible. I do care but I may not be one who can speak into your need.
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Post by baza on Jul 2, 2017 22:56:58 GMT -5
Your call what you do Brother csl . Personally I think you bring some different views to the group which is a good thing. If everyone on here agreed with each other, it'd be a dull old group, and pretty useless. Put your point up, be prepared to argue it. |
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 2, 2017 23:33:08 GMT -5
csl, first, congratulations on making it 46 years! As long as the duration carries substance and not just a badge of endurance, then it's an accomplishment to be proud of. I think all our stories are different (though there are a lot of common themes), and the variety of experiences and perspectives adds value here. The occasional outside-the-box perspective helps keep the community from getting into a rut of "group think". My situation is certainly not stereotypical, so I'm with you in that regard. I think the only "wrong" perspective is those who hope to take advantage of this community. Just one guy's perspective.
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 3, 2017 1:03:21 GMT -5
Happy 46th anniversary! How does it feel? Do you feel lucky or is it a curse? I read others write about their post partum lives and wonder if they are more alive than those who stay. And I only have $50 to show for it. Dang it.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 3, 2017 6:04:58 GMT -5
Cal, post about your anniversary celebration. All perspectives are welcome and useful.
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Post by csl on Jul 3, 2017 8:24:44 GMT -5
Cal, post about your anniversary celebration. All perspectives are welcome and useful. Being as yesterday was first Sunday, we had church and communion in the morning. In the afternoon, Wife and I and our two daughters went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant that we like. Then we had Haggen-Daaz ice cream for dessert, thus breaking out of my diabetic diet (this morning's blood sugar reading wasn't hurt by it.) And then we finished the night with watching The Shack, which we enjoyed very much. What, no anniversary sex?, someone may ask. No, and due to the day's activities, no surprise. I have advanced arthritis in my hip, and days that are hard on me mean that I can't make it upstairs. That said, Wife has a policy that says that any time I can make it upstairs to bed, it's on, so when my hip heals up enough for the stairs, we will extend the celebration.  So DryCreek and lwoetin, substance and lucky. |
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Post by WindSister on Jul 3, 2017 12:01:48 GMT -5
Of course you can and should share. I am no longer in a SM and share life afterwards. Some called me out (nicely, of course) on complaining for no sex for a mere two weeks, but fact is - I was genuinely starting to freak out with that two-week dry spell. I don't want that to turn into 3 weeks and then a month and then several months and then several years again. (no, no, no) Now advise like "spicing it up" DOES work and are needed in my relationship (that didn't work with my ex though).
So, if you are happy, Happy Anniversary to you!! Enjoy.
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 3, 2017 22:45:16 GMT -5
Cal, post about your anniversary celebration. All perspectives are welcome and useful. Being as yesterday was first Sunday, we had church and communion in the morning. In the afternoon, Wife and I and our two daughters went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant that we like. Then we had Haggen-Daaz ice cream for dessert, thus breaking out of my diabetic diet (this morning's blood sugar reading wasn't hurt by it.) And then we finished the night with watching The Shack, which we enjoyed very much. What, no anniversary sex?, someone may ask. No, and due to the day's activities, no surprise. I have advanced arthritis in my hip, and days that are hard on me mean that I can't make it upstairs. That said, Wife has a policy that says that any time I can make it upstairs to bed, it's on, so when my hip heals up enough for the stairs, we will extend the celebration. So DryCreek and lwoetin, substance and lucky. , it's been a year since reading your blogs I forgot what a lucky man you are. Definitely stay on. It's helpful to have also those members who are happily staying married. Congratulations on the 46th. Have you thought about putting a stair lift (I think ~$2k for a used model)? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2017 0:26:17 GMT -5
csl, just because I didn't get my happy anniversary doesn't mean you shouldn't get yours! More power to you! And kudos to both you and your W for working so hard at it all these years. Marriage is work, no way around it. It is commitment and discipline. I feel I've worked hard at my marriage (and on myself) and I would be willing to continue doing so if my H was willing to work too. He is not. At some point (soon), that is going to become a deal breaker. One-sided marriages don't work very well. But back on topic, I love your posts and perspectives and have learned a lot from your blog, which I learned about here. Please don't go away!
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