|
|
Post by ironhamster on Jul 2, 2017 12:51:30 GMT -5
Our marriage shows no external problems, other than what I post, and what a few friends know.
A couple years ago, we were in a church "small group" with a few other couples. We studied, and supported each other through a number of issues. One day, it all fell apart as the lead couple in the group suddenly went the route of divorce. One main issue was the man was not putting out. This, nor my issue of my wife not putting out, was never discussed. Darn shame. I have this image in my head of swinging with them, being engaged in hot intimate activity with the woman, while our spouses sit in the front room engaged in social media on their phones while complaining about how worthless the other is.
Yeah. It was never discussed.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jul 2, 2017 18:15:54 GMT -5
I reckon that in all this, you can take one thing to the bank. *Your* marriage, as it stands today, generates as much sex as it is capable of. If yours is a functional, loving and honest union, then you will be rooting each other at mutually agreeable frequency and quality. If yours is an ILIASM shithole, then you will NOT be rooting each other much, if at all. *Your* deal, as far as sex goes, is producing exactly what it is capable of producing. So is eternaloptimism deal. And Brother h , and @thecelt respective deals. solodriver , bigbossfan , carl , @shynjdude , choosinghappy , @venuserotes etc etc etc. All in deals that generate exactly what they are capable of as far as sex goes. In these examples (just random recent posters) that equals "not much, if any". Then, at the other end of the spectrum, relationship deals like WindSister , sleeplessknight , nyartgal , etc. Again, all in deals that generate exactly what they are capable of as far as sex goes. But in these deals, that equals mutually frequent and quality as far as sex goes. People in dysfunctional relationships don't root each other very much. And when you think about it, that is hardly surprising. |
|
|
|
Post by McRoomMate on Jul 3, 2017 1:01:16 GMT -5
People often comment about how well behaved my kids are, or what great kids I have. They are so polite and respectful, they are great to be around. So once again, it came down back to "the kids" or "family". Rarely was there a comment about what a great, fun, couple we where. In homeschool circles you rarely talk about the adults as a couple. Instead, I found even my own conversations ended up being all about ,the kids and getting them together. Everyone assumes, are kids are great, so we are doing great. Wow can I relate to this. Family/children = wonderful. Couple = zero, non-existent. Even when I mentioned the possibility of separating most family members (Mom, syblings) said "just want you to be happy" but my father said "all that counts is the children". So we got stellar scores for being good parents but lost our couple along the way - the SM was but a symptom. |
|
|
|
Post by lifeinwoodinville on Jul 3, 2017 6:40:16 GMT -5
I was just having a conversation with a friend yesterday morning about how I don't think that there are really any happy couples out there. It's all bullshit. The last one I found I was having a conversation with the husband and out of the blue one day he tells me "If I ever leave my wife, I'm going to spend the next three years fucking any and every woman I can get my hands on, thin, fat, pretty, ugly, I don't care, I'll fuck them all!" I knew right there this guy had not had sex in ages!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2017 10:22:50 GMT -5
Our marriage shows no external problems, other than what I post, and what a few friends know. A couple years ago, we were in a church "small group" with a few other couples. We studied, and supported each other through a number of issues. One day, it all fell apart as the lead couple in the group suddenly went the route of divorce. One main issue was the man was not putting out. This, nor my issue of my wife not putting out, was never discussed. Darn shame. I have this image in my head of swinging with them, being engaged in hot intimate activity with the woman, while our spouses sit in the front room engaged in social media on their phones while complaining about how worthless the other is. Yeah. It was never discussed. Unfortunately, this is pretty common in small groups. The real issues are ignored, while the group just goes through the study in whatever workbook has been provided. Rarely does anyone open up and talk about what is really going on. Instead, they just use religious cliches, and pretend like all is well. The theory is good, but it is hard to make it work in practice. |
|
