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Post by carl on Jun 30, 2017 20:08:33 GMT -5
My wife has always given excuses since the sex stopped. It always boiled down to things I either had or hadn't done. I listened and inside felt it was lies but did everything she wanted nonetheless. Some of the things took me years of effort to make happen but as I sorted one thing out she would find another. And there are so many things I have done to try to make her comfortable, secure and happy, big things. I don't know many people who live the life she does. In fact I know a lot of lovely people who don't and it makes me cringe. But I just keep thinking I am providing for my wife, however there is always something else, life is never good enough. I like making people happy and if she is happy for a while I feel ok so I keep doing it.
But it's nothing to do with why she declines sex.
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Post by thefullmoon on Jun 30, 2017 20:52:09 GMT -5
There is only one simple reason- she does not want to have sex...either with you or at all...
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Post by baza on Jun 30, 2017 23:06:33 GMT -5
Setting aside her being a dud missus, elsewhere you regard her as an incompetent parent as well.
But these things are really only of academic interest, given that you have made the (perfectly legitimate) choice to stay and not even seriously consider other options.
Perhaps trying a practice of NOT taking her inventory, and accepting her for what she is, and expecting nothing from her, might be the way to go. That would involve not putting yourself in a position where you had to listen to her bullshit excuses (because you no longer approached her for sex - or anything else) and essentially treating her as an irrelevancy in your life.
It's probably not a long term solution, but it might provide some relief in the immediate future, for a while.
Would it be accurate to say that the *marriage* has now morphed into a *Financial Partnership* ?
If that's so, then you are best served to treat it like a *Financial Partnership*.
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 1, 2017 0:18:25 GMT -5
carl, quite simply... people who want sex and intimacy will overcome obstacles to make it happen. Those who avoid sex and intimacy will find convenient excuses to blame - often the same obstacles that others choose to overcome. The real reason: she didn't want to, and blamed you instead of owning her choice.
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Post by carl on Jul 1, 2017 3:18:34 GMT -5
There is only one simple reason- she does not want to have sex...either with you or at all... Feels like I meet so many friendly people but the person I am married to acts the opposite. It a strange world. |
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