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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 25, 2017 14:19:34 GMT -5
Starfish is the worst, your partner is doing it to get you off thier back.
Reset, usually means they are trying to keep you, so you are closer to the end of the marriage then you think.
No sex, at least they are being honest and if you say you're partner hasn't had sex with you in X years, you will at least get sympathy.
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Post by rdp62 on Jun 25, 2017 18:47:30 GMT -5
I'm currently thinking of it as: how do you feel after each has happened? As you say, with starfish sex you know it is an "unwelcome obligation". Does that make it unenjoyable for you during? Does it make you feel awful after? Does it feel like coercion? Does it leave you feeling worse than if there had been NO sex? And similarly with re-set sex: assuming the sex was pleasurable for you both (or at least, your refuser was attempting to make it seem s/he found it pleasurable), I assume it felt good during. And it likely left you with good feelings after, correct? It's only later as baza said that it enters the "re-set" category but perhaps the enjoyment of the moment makes it preferable to starfish, and certainly to NO sex. Starfish sex only once for a very short time and it was a terrible experience. Will never do it again. Beginning to think reset recently was just a manipulation but felt so real at the time that if I become positive about manipulation will have no trust again and no chance to continue marriage. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2017 19:26:25 GMT -5
I would not participate in starfish sex. A few times, when I was dating, I was with a chick that just laid there. I would just stop the sex. Maybe we would talk or something but no sex... I sure as hell would not fuck my wife if she was going to just lay there. But that would not happen./
Reset sex is something read about here and have no experience with.
No sex I am an expert at. It is the worst.
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Post by solodriver on Jun 25, 2017 20:42:07 GMT -5
Sadly I crave a woman's touch so bad that I would take my wife's re-set sex after 16 years of no sex. But I'm more in search of a woman who desires love and passion to be with instead of re-set sex with a woman who has had no desire or care about me for 16 years.
That thought of the passion and desire just makes me keep going every day.
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Jun 25, 2017 22:15:55 GMT -5
I'm glad I looked this one up. I was thinking no sex, reset sex, or anal sex, seems like a clear choice to me. But that's chocolate starfish sex, not starfish sex. D'oh! So many confusing terms!
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Post by baza on Jun 25, 2017 22:33:40 GMT -5
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 25, 2017 22:34:04 GMT -5
The best bad sex I ever had was reset sex. I figured out some tricks to last and last, and in doing so came to a better understanding of just exactly how ambivalent my wife was to the whole experience. When you've given her the fuck to end all fucks and understand she does not give a fuck about fucking, it's easier to say, "fuck that."
Giving up hope that it will ever be what I want has been very freeing.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 25, 2017 22:38:29 GMT -5
Sex with out connection.... terrible. Why bother when a hand and a fantasy can give you so much more?
Relationship without touch - THE WORST.
Rejection after rejection after rejection... lonely, depressed, and no one else understands. Not knowing where to turn. Sexless Marriage is such an unhealthy shit hole. We all deserve more.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 25, 2017 22:39:44 GMT -5
The best bad sex I ever had was reset sex. I figured out some tricks to last and last, and in doing so came to a better understanding of just exactly how ambivalent my wife was to the whole experience. When you've given her the fuck to end all fucks and understand she does not give a fuck about fucking, it's easier to say, "fuck that." Giving up hope that it will ever be what I want has been very freeing. The only sex I ever had with hubs was reset sex. It's all terrible. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2017 12:52:05 GMT -5
For me reset sex is the worst. We didn't have a male equivalent of starfish sex, really. When I could get him to do it, at least he did it pretty well! ;->
Reset sex hurt on an emotional level. I enjoyed it...he enjoyed it...why didn't we do it more often?
I would say this to him afterwards, and he would verbally agree with me. And then there would be another long drought. His words and his behavior were two different things.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 26, 2017 19:39:54 GMT -5
For me reset sex is the worst. We didn't have a male equivalent of starfish sex, really. When I could get him to do it, at least he did it pretty well! ;-> Reset sex hurt on an emotional level. I enjoyed it...he enjoyed it...why didn't we do it more often? I would say this to him afterwards, and he would verbally agree with me. And then there would be another long drought. His words and his behavior were two different things. Signs of a man living in the dark... |
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pinkskies
Junior Member
Posts: 38 
Age Range: 36-40
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Post by pinkskies on Jun 26, 2017 19:44:13 GMT -5
For me reset sex is the worst. We didn't have a male equivalent of starfish sex, really. When I could get him to do it, at least he did it pretty well! ;-> Reset sex hurt on an emotional level. I enjoyed it...he enjoyed it...why didn't we do it more often? I would say this to him afterwards, and he would verbally agree with me. And then there would be another long drought. His words and his behavior were two different things. I could have written your exact words. Reset sex was the worse. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jun 26, 2017 21:12:57 GMT -5
With no sex, I was thinking she was saving up her energy for a fine session. So it would be frustrating but I am patient. Reset sex feels good when it happens. There is something potentially good to look forward to. The worst is closest to starfish sex, the forced sex. (She would not lay there for me to do as I please. She has too much pride.) I think starfish when she was giving handjob and disgusted by turning her face away and I felt like poop. Time for a cool change....
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Post by JMX on Jun 27, 2017 19:41:19 GMT -5
For me reset sex is the worst. We didn't have a male equivalent of starfish sex, really. When I could get him to do it, at least he did it pretty well! ;-> Reset sex hurt on an emotional level. I enjoyed it...he enjoyed it...why didn't we do it more often? I would say this to him afterwards, and he would verbally agree with me. And then there would be another long drought. His words and his behavior were two different things. Saying this afterwards was one of his complaints about me. Why do you always have to ask that? You're ruining it. Okay. Now, I say nothing. But I don't feel much either so.... |
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Post by beachguy on Jun 27, 2017 19:45:28 GMT -5
For me reset sex is the worst. We didn't have a male equivalent of starfish sex, really. When I could get him to do it, at least he did it pretty well! ;-> Reset sex hurt on an emotional level. I enjoyed it...he enjoyed it...why didn't we do it more often? I would say this to him afterwards, and he would verbally agree with me. And then there would be another long drought. His words and his behavior were two different things. Saying this afterwards was one of his complaints about me. Why do you always have to ask that? You're ruining it. Okay. Now, I say nothing. But I don't feel much either so.... So the idea that you guys might have sex again, sooner than later (say less than a couple months or a year from now) ruins it all? Sigh. Just sigh. |
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